


On Flirtation

by jane_x80



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Clubbing, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Fun, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2017, Self-Harm, Tony DiNozzo Leaves NCIS Team, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:03:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: McGee finds that despite his move to DC and being part of the MCRT, his social life is still a lonely mess. He goes to Abby for help, and she calls in the master to help school McGee in the art of flirtation - Tony DiNozzo.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/gifts).



> Hello everyone! Today (17 Nov 2017) is the 2 year anniversary of the date that I posted my very first fanfiction story, [On Kissing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5232233). In these 2 years, I have posted 83 stories, and that comes to about .8 stories a week! I cannot thank you all enough for reading, kudo-ing (kudosing?), subscribing and commenting on my stories. Thank you so much!! You have made my participation on this site an amazing experience! So this story is for you, to celebrate my first 2 years on AO3!
> 
> This story though, was supposed to be a short, flirty, fun fic about Tony teaching McGee the art of flirtation. There is fun, there is lots of flirting, this is true. But it got out of control and got long and then turned angsty. I don't know. It got away from me. But it's finished and I hope you will enjoy it. This is not in any way related to On Kissing, not a prequel not in the same 'verse. This is a stand alone. And for once, it is finished and won't require a sequel! Whee!
> 
> Huge thanks go out to [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5232233), my amazing partner in crime, who created this artwork just based on several emails in which I outlined the premise of this story. It is fabulous, ma chere amie! Merci beaucoup!! You are magnificent, tres magnifique! :D I hope you will enjoy reading the story. Thanks also for all the cheerleading for this beast of a story that would not die (10-15k words? Hah!) :D
> 
> Thanks also to [cutsycat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsycat/pseuds/cutsycat) who cheered me on, and who somehow subverted me into joining NaNoWriMo this year. And for the record, this story was written entirely in the month of November and made the NaNoWriMo goal count. ;)
> 
> Come find me [@jane_x80](https://twitter.com/jane_x80) on twitter! :D There may be epic threads and even kittens involved!

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

flir·ta·tion  
ˌflərˈtāSH(ə)n/

 _noun_  
noun: **flirtation**  
1\. behavior that demonstrates a playful sexual attraction to someone.  
"Fabia was in no mood for his lighthearted flirtation"  
synonyms: coquetry, teasing, trifling, "a bit of mild flirtation"

* a short or casual relationship.  
plural noun: **flirtations**  
"she had had plenty of flirtations—now she had fallen in love"  
* a short period of casual experimentation with or interest in a particular idea or activity.  
"his brief flirtation with the avant-garde in the 1920s"

(Source: google.com)

\-------------------------------------------

 

Agent Timothy McGee was still relatively new to the MCRT in the Navy Yard, and even he would admit that he was still green as agents go. Every day it seemed, his Senior Field Agent, Tony DiNozzo, would superglue him or one of his possessions at the most inconvenient of times, and every time they went to a crime scene, McGee had to tell himself not to react. No flinching, no trying to avert his eyes, and definitely no throwing up. He was doing better and not puking until much later, though. It was best for all involved because a) he did not want to contaminate any crime scenes, or b) give Tony and Kate any more ammunition to tease him about, or even worse, c) get on his bastard team lead Gibbs’ bad side by not being able to be more professional at a crime scene.

All in all, he was figuring things out at work as a field agent. It was going slowly, but he felt that he was making progress as an agent, no small thanks to the rest of his team. Sure, he could sit and hack the bejesus out of any database in the world, but when faced with the actual dead body, or looking at the actual crime scene, or hell, even just speaking to someone to inform them that a loved one had been found dead was terrifying. Despite all the teasing, McGee was glad that he could watch how Tony did all these things – because even though Tony played and played very hard, he took the work seriously. When he had to perform a notification, the family often thanked him for his kindness and empathy. And all the while, Tony was also keeping his eyes peeled to suspicious behavior, in case the victim had been killed by one of the people he was informing. A fine line to balance on. So yes, he was definitely learning a lot and developing the rest of the skills needed to be a successful field agent.

However, the move to DC had not improved his social life as he had hoped. While he had been living in Norfolk where most of the people were in the Navy or somewhat connected to the Navy, he had been able to tell himself that he wasn’t making friends or going out on dates because he was NCIS. Of course nobody wanted to be the one to date a Navy cop when they lived in such close quarters on base. But, now that he wasn’t living in the pockets of the Navy, and had been living in metropolitan DC a few months, he still had not gone on a proper date, not unless you counted the ones he had had with Abby back when they had had their little fling.

But things had ended with Abby, amicably on both ends, because Abby didn’t do relationships and well, McGee really didn’t like sleeping in the coffin. It really was a turn off for him. But yet somehow, he and Abby had managed to develop a really great friendship, so he was thankful that he at least had that going for him. But the truth was, he was getting lonely and perhaps even a little desperate. He hadn’t gone out on a date in a long time and he missed it. He’d tried going out to bars and clubs and had somehow struck out completely whenever he tried to hit on a woman.

Which brought him now to Forensics, where he was sitting in Abby’s office, cradling a comforting mug of hot chocolate and pouring out his troubles to her.

“Wait, so you went out to Envy,” Abby named one of the most popular clubs in DC for hookups, “and you struck out?”

McGee sighed and nodded.

Abby pursed her lips and gave McGee a calculated look. “What were you wearing?”

“The outfit you made me buy that time?” McGee shrugged.

Abby nodded approvingly. She had managed to update McGee’s wardrobe a little bit while they had been going out. “Did you do your hair the way I did it for you?”

“Did my best to.”

Abby nodded. “OK. And you still struck out? Did you actually you know, talk to anyone? Approach a girl? Ask them to dance? Or did you just sit around and watch and hope someone would approach you?”

“I talked to a girl. Several of them, in fact,” McGee said glumly. “They just took one look at me and you know… left. Some weren’t even terribly nice about it.”

“Awwww,” Abby hugged him and rubbed his back.

“I’m destined to be alone,” McGee groaned. “No girl will even look at me.”

“You’re overreacting,” Abby told him gently. “I’ll help you.”

“It’s weird, having my ex-girlfriend help me get it on.”

“Well, technically I’m not really your ex-girlfriend though, am I?” Abby gave him a smile. “I’m pretty sure we had a no strings attached friends with benefits sort of thing.”

“I guess.”

“And friends always help each other out, right?” Abby’s eyes were intent.

McGee nodded helplessly. He was always swept away by Abby and her enthusiasm for everything.

“Alright. I have a plan,” she declared, sitting on her desk and reaching for her phone. “Step One, we get reinforcements. Step Two, we carry out our reinforcements’ plan of attack.”

“Reinforcements?” McGee looked up at her in surprise. “What do you mean, reinforcements?”

Abby held up a finger to shush him as she finished dialing. “Tony? It’s me. I need you down at Forensics ASAP. It’s an emergency.” And she hung up even as McGee tried to grab the phone out of her hands.

“You can’t tell _Tony_ I’m having… girl issues!!” he hissed. “I’ll never hear the end of it! You’ve just put the nail in the coffin of my future with the MCRT! Tony will _never_ let this go, Abs! I’ll have to transfer out because he’ll tease me so much about this that I won’t be able to stay on. And once Kate gets a hold of this idea, then I’m doubly doomed! I’ll never live it down! They won’t ever let me!”

“And people say I’m the dramatic one,” Abby sighed, shaking her head.

“Do you even know what you’ve _done?_ ”

“Calm the hell down, McGee,” Abby rolled her eyes. “What I’ve done is get a professional to come down here to talk to you.”

“A professional what?”

“A professional flirt. Tony is the master at this and he’ll help you out. He won’t make fun of you, I promise. Well… he might make fun of you a _little_ , it _is_ Tony after all. But he won’t hold it against you and he won’t make it public.”

“ _Tony?_ A professional flirt? But he’s _awful_ at it! He _always_ strikes out! I never see him succeed – well not often anyway!” McGee objected.

“I bet he’s been trying to strike out in front of you, just so you see that people strike out all the time. He’s the best at reading people and knowing how to talk to them, or not talk to them, in order to get their attentions. Why do you think Gibbs always sends him to talk to witnesses and suspects? He’s really awesome at reading people and figuring out the right way to talk to them! Flirting is only an extension of that!”

“But how do you know he won’t ridicule me and make me the joke of the squad room?” McGee pouted.

Abby put a hand on his shoulder. “McGee, Tony’s a sweetheart. You just have to get to know him better.”

“Fuck, Abby. I am _so_ dead!”

“Look, you remember Pacci?”

McGee nodded. Of course he remembered Pacci. He had been the NCIS agent disemboweled in an elevator by a he/she AWOL Naval officer that had kissed Tony and then been shot in the head by Gibbs. There was no way McGee would have forgotten Pacci. He’d taken Pacci as a life lesson. “Tony kissed a man on that case,” he murmured.

“That’s not where I was going with that,” Abby told him severely. “Pacci, if you recall, his poor fiance came in to thank you guys afterwards. You remember her?”

“Oh yeah.”

“What did she look like?”

“She was hot.”

“Exactly. And Pacci?”

“Not exactly a runway model,” McGee made a face.

“Right. And you know how he managed to get her attention?”

McGee shook his head.

“Tony helped him,” Abby nodded.

“What?” McGee exclaimed. “But why?”

“Pacci and she were friends for a long time, although he was secretly in love with her and didn’t know how to let her know it. He talked to Tony about it and Tony helped him get over the friendship hump with her, declare his intentions, and romance her off of her feet. It’s too bad that they never got to have a lifetime of happiness together,” Abby finished sadly.

“Really? Tony helped him?” McGee was incredulous.

“Take my word for it, Timmy. You need Tony’s help in this.”

“McGeek needs Tony’s help in what?” Tony’s voice made McGee jump.

“ _Tonyyyy!_ ” Abby shrieked happily, jumping off her table and running to give Tony a huge hug.

“Nothing! I don’t need your help, Tony!”

“Timmy!” Abby scolded him. “Timmy definitely needs your help, Tony. Come on over and make yourself comfortable,” she pulled another chair out for Tony to sit on.

Tony sighed dramatically. “You guys are lucky the boss is at a convention in Vegas this week,” he shook his head. “Or he’d have all our hides, sitting around here on a workday, gossiping like schoolgirls instead of working the cold cases he’s assigned us.”

“The cold cases can wait for a bit,” Abby told him. “We have a more important problem to resolve.”

Tony sighed and opened his hands wearily. “Hit me with it. What’s Timmy’s problem?” he said McGee’s name with disdain.

“Tony,” Abby admonished him. “This is serious.”

Tony rearranged his facial expression into mock seriousness. “I’m all ears.”

McGee tried to object but Abby shushed him viciously. “Timmy’s lonely,” Abby started.

Tony gave McGee a startled look. “ _What?_ ”

“No, no, no. No, I’m not!” McGee shook his head frantically. “I’m totally fine. Everything’s cool. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Hush!” Abby shushed McGee again. “Timmy here can’t get a date to save his life, Tony.”

“And he thinks I can help him with that?” Tony’s lip curled up in disapproval.

“ _I_ think you can help him with this,” Abby said firmly. “Come on, Tony. He needs your help.”

“I thought you two were dating anyways?” Tony gestured with his hands, indicating the both of them.

“Oh, that’s over,” Abby reassured him. “You know me. We’re just friends now.”

Tony nodded thoughtfully.

“And anyways, he’s been putting himself out there, going out to bars and clubs even, and asking girls to dance, and getting shot down. I figure he needs the DiNozzo eye to help him.”

Tony sighed and rubbed his face. “Really, Abs?” he whined.

“Really, Tony. Look at him! Look how pathetic he looks!” Abby pointed to McGee.

The junior agent’s face flamed as Tony did, indeed, look him over thoroughly, scrutinizing him and then pursing his lips and sighing. He closed his eyes, bit his bottom lip, and nodded. “Fine,” he sighed. “I guess I can help him.”

“He needs the Pacci treatment,” Abby said softly.

Tony gave McGee another long look. “Alright, Probie. Why don’t you describe to me what’s been going on.”

McGee gave Abby a distressed look, but complied, relating to his Senior Field Agent his failed attempts to date.

“I need to picture it,” Tony murmured thoughtfully. “Just hearing you tell it to me in words isn’t helping me much.”

“Reenact the last couple of times you asked a girl to dance, Timmy!” Abby told the junior agent.

McGee stood and sidled up to Abby.

“Not me, McGee!” Abby pushed him away. “Go show Tony! He’s the one who needs to see your moves!”

“No way!” McGee shook his head vehemently. “I’m not going to flirt with _Tony_ of all people!”

“Why? What’s wrong with me? Besides, I flirt with you all the time, McGeek,” Tony grinned at him.

“You do _not!_ ” McGee denied it.

“Why do you think you agreed to buy me my lunch yesterday?” Tony opened his eyes wide, feigning innocence.

“It’s b-b-b-ecause you m-m-made me!” McGee’s stutter grew even more pronounced.

“ _Did_ I?” Tony pursed his lips. “How, pray tell, did I _make_ you buy me lunch? Did I threaten you? Twist your arm? Superglue you to your wallet?”

“Well.. you, y-you, you…” McGee’s eyes widened and he gasped. “Oh my god! You batted your eyelashes and gave me a smile! And you asked me nicely! _And I bought you your lunch???_ ”

“It happens,” Tony nodded, eyes serious. “You’re easy,” he told the younger man. “I don’t do it to you often because that would be unfair to you. It’s why I keep busting your ass trying to toughen you up. So you won’t fall for the likes of me ever again!”

“ _You don’t flirt with me often?_ ” McGee yelled. “How often is not often?!”

“Only when I really need something or if I’m truly exhausted. I promise, I haven’t overdone it, like I have the superglue,” Tony was irrepressible.

“But, Tony, you _flirted_ with me!” McGee groaned, covering his face.

“Yup!” Tony agreed cheerfully. “I should be more upset that you never flirt back.”

McGee gasped and clutched at his hair.

“Relax, Probie. Yesterday was not the first time I’ve flirted with you, either. I just stealth flirted my way around you when I needed some things.”

“And I fell for it!!” he started pounding his forehead on his table. “I’m not even into men, and I fell for you and your goddamn eyes. And seriously, who has eyelashes like _that??_ ”

“I think he’s getting hysterical and going off on a tangent,” Tony told Abby, who went to him and stopped him from damaging himself.

“It’s OK, McGee,” Abby told him. “Tony flirts with everyone. And he’s so good at it a lot of the time we don’t even notice it.”

“He flirts with you, too?”

“Well of _course_ he flirts with me, too!” Abby shook her head at her friend. “I’d be upset if he didn’t!”

Tony gave Abby a coy look and a sly wink, which made her giggle and wink back.

“Oh I didn’t need to see that!” McGee wailed.

“Look, if you really want my help, I’ll take you seriously,” Tony told him. “But if you don’t I won’t ever bring this up again. It would be completely forgotten. I don’t joke about shit like this. And we won’t ever talk about this ever again. Ever.”

“Especially not in front of Kate!” McGee’s eyes were wide.

“Or Gibbs,” Tony shuddered. “He’ll blame me for everything even though Abby is the one who called me in.”

“It’s ‘cause I’m his favorite,” Abby gave him a triumphant grin, making the green eyed man roll them. McGee kept staring at the eyes, framed with those long, lush lashes. Tony had used them against him!

“Go on,” Abby urged McGee. “You can trust Tony on this. Go show him what you did to try to get girls to dance with you.”

McGee sighed, scrubbed his face and stood up, his entire posture hunched over and sad.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Tony shook his head. “Before we start, you have to get back to your mindset. Put your dating game face on. I need an accurate re-enactment of the events or this won’t be as effective.”

McGee took a deep breath and nodded. He drew himself up to his full height and set his chin, lower lip sticking out a little, in determination.

“Good body language,” Tony nodded, “if you were about to interview a suspect, that is. But I’ll hold off on the commentary. Carry on. This woman you approached – I’m assuming it _was_ a girl?”

“ _Yes!_ ” McGee exploded. “Of _course_ it was a girl!”

“I’m not judging, McGee,” Tony said, his tone gentle. “I just want to picture the person in my mind. So anyway, this girl that you approached, what was she doing? Was she with someone? A friend, or a group of friends, or was she alone? What was she wearing? Was she holding a drink? Did you see her dance with someone before or after you talked to her?”

“Well this one I have in mind right now, she was beautiful… dark hair, big brown eyes, and she was with a big group of friends. They were all dancing together for a while and I managed to talk to her when she was ordering drinks at the bar.”

Tony nodded. “Was she ordering drinks for herself or for the whole group? Did you offer to buy her her drink?”

“For a bunch of people,” McGee frowned, trying to remember. “Yeah, a whole bunch of drinks. I didn’t offer to buy her a drink because it was a big order.”

Tony nodded. “And what was she wearing?”

“A dress,” McGee shrugged.

“Color? Level of cleavage exposure? Are we talking Jessica Rabbit or Sister Rosita? Did her shoes match her dress? What kind of shoes were they? How high were the heels? What kind of jewelry? Make up? Hair?”

“Ummm the dress was like a dark red?”

“Jessica Rabbit red?”

“No. Dark red. Maroon maybe. And not Jessica Rabbit cleavage exposure, but not Sister Rosita either. Medium level of cleavage exposure. Her shoes… god I don’t remember her shoes. Who looks that closely at shoes, anyway? She had dangly earrings and her hair was loose. I guess she had a normal amount of make up on? I don’t know these things, Tony!”

Tony nodded. “OK, you need to pay attention to the way she’s dressed, and I mean everything, shoes included, as that will give you some idea of how receptive she might be and what approach you need to take with her. Like if she’s wearing two thousand dollar Jimmy Choos with spaghetti straps and stilettoes, then you want to talk to her differently. And that right there, talking to her while it’s her turn to buy a round for her friends, that’s already going to decrease the chances of her saying yes to you. Because she has to get these drinks and transport them to her friends or they’ll be upset with her for trying to welch out of her round.”

“What would _you_ have done?” McGee grumbled.

“If I just wanted a dance with her, I would have helped her carry the drinks over to her friends and then asked her to dance,” Tony said thoughtfully. “And if I wanted to fuck her, I would have paid for the round. For the entire round.”

McGee gasped. “I don’t necessarily want to fuck every girl I dance with!”

“I’m not saying you do, or that you have to, McJudgy-von-Judgenstein. You asked me a question, I just told you what I would have done. And remember, I’m not judging you, so you better not be judging me,” Tony finished primly.

“Alright, alright,” McGee sighed.

“OK, so I’m the girl and I’m ordering drinks. Now, you come up to me and do what you did and say what you said,” Tony told McGee. He stood and leaned forward against Abby’s table and began ordering random drinks, treating Abby like the bartender.

“Uh… hi,” McGee walked up to him, face flaming. “W-w-would you l-like to d-d-dance?”

“Direct approach. Nice,” Tony praised him. “And what did she say?”

“She said she was busy, but thanks,” McGee said heavily.

“Did you ask her to dance again later, after she was done with the drinks for her friends?”

McGee shook his head.

“Hmm,” Tony pursed his lips and tsked softly. “I think you could have asked her again, she didn’t sound averse to a dance with you. Maybe it was just bad timing on your part.”

“You think?” McGee asked hopefully.

Both Abby and Tony nodded.

“Were you stuttering as much when you asked her to dance as when you asked me to dance?” Tony asked.

“ _Tony!_ ” Abby smacked his arm. “His stutter is part of his _charm!_ ”

“Ow, Abs!” Tony rubbed his arm and glared at Abby. “I _know_ that!” Tony grinned at McGee, who blushed even more. “I’m just asking a question. I told you I’m not judging.”

McGee nodded. “Yeah. The stutter was maybe even worse that night,” he admitted softly.

“No, no, we can use that,” Tony nodded at him, eyes gleaming. “There’s an art to flirting. I can work with the stutter. I can so work with the stutter.”

“An art to flirting, huh? Then how come you keep striking out?” McGee’s question was sharp, defensive.

“Well, I admit, there’s a bit of a numbers game going. It is true that your chances of succeeding are higher if you flirt with more people,” Tony grinned easily. “And sometimes even I can misjudge someone. But for the most part, you only think you’ve seen me flirt.”

“You just have the one move, Tony. You ogle a hot chick and make suggestive comments,” McGee grumbled. “It rarely works.”

Tony laughed and to McGee’s surprise, Abby laughed with him.

“While that approach works with some women, in general, men respond better when you’re honest so if I think a guy is hot, then that’s generally the approach I might use,” Tony told him when he and Abby stopped laughing. “Still, I wouldn’t like to generalize like that. However, women are much more subtle. So you have to tailor your flirtation to what you can observe of the girl.”

“But you strike out! A lot!” McGee wanted to ask about Tony hitting on men but his brain refused to wrap itself around that because Tony was such a ladies man. Super straight. Wasn’t he?

“He’s just playing with you by striking out in front of you, McGee,” Abby told him.

“Really?”

Tony shrugged. “You listening now?”

McGee nodded.

Tony sat back in his chair and crossed his legs. “Basically, you need to watch and understand the girl – or the guy, again I’m not judging,” Tony winked at Abby. “And then play up to what will work with them.”

McGee frowned. “I don’t know…” he made a face. “It sounds more like you’re profiling a suspect or preparing to go undercover or something.”

“That’s _exactly_ it!” Tony exclaimed, beaming proudly at him.

“You approach flirting like it’s an undercover op?”

“Fuck, McGee, I approach life like it’s a goddamned undercover op,” Tony grinned at him. “Now. Are you listening?”

McGee nodded enthusiastically.

“OK, so, you need to look at the person. Really look at the person, and make a note of what they’re wearing, hair, makeup, jewelry, shoes, who they’re with, what they’re drinking, their body language, everything matters. And then you do what you think will work best with them.”

“Maybe you need to narrow the scope a little, Tony,” Abby said, seeing the furrow in McGee’s forehead. “Let’s assume McGee is going to be McGee, and we can’t change that.”

“Right,” Tony gave him another look as he tapped his chin. “So we flip it around. Instead of having McGee tailor his behavior to the girl, we find the girl that is predisposed to say yes to his brand of flirting!”

“Excellent idea,” Abby agreed, picking up her half-forgotten caf pow and slurping it up.

“You know what this means, right?” Tony raised an eyebrow elegantly.

“Field trip!” Abby jumped up and down, clapping her hands.

“ _What!?_ ” McGee threw up his hands.

“Tony’s going to need to go with you to a bar or a club, and help you scope out the chicks who will be bowled over by your cute ass!” Abby squealed. “And I’m coming too, of course!”

“But of course, my Mistress of Darkness,” Tony fluttered his hand, an elaborate gesture of obeisance.

“Tonight, or do you want to wait for the weekend?” Abby asked Tony.

“We should try this bar I know tonight,” Tony replied. “Like a practice run. And then Friday night we can choose a club…”

“Envy! We go back to Envy so McGee can get right back on that horse!” Abby declared.

“Envy, sure. You literally _can’t_ strike out there,” Tony agreed.

Abby cleared her throat and McGee blushed again.

“Don’t even tell me…?” Tony stared at McGee.

“He struck out at Envy,” Abby said softly.

Tony sighed. “Man… we definitely need to practice first then,” he shook his head.

“So we’re going out tonight?” Abby asked.

“Looks like it,” Tony nodded. “Hey, but we can’t let Kate know this is happening. McGee, this is strictly between the three of us.”

“Good god, you couldn’t _pay_ me to tell _anyone, especially_ Kate, any of this! Do you think she would let up for one minute to make fun of me for this?” McGee exclaimed. “I’d be more worried that you’d be the one to tell her.”

“Good point. Alright. Do we have to pinky swear to this?” Tony asked.

“Always!” Abby answered.

So they pinky swore together that they would keep this endeavor between the three of them.

Of course Kate noticed that McGee was acting cagey all afternoon, as he kept giving Tony worried looks. He couldn’t help it. He wasn’t entirely sure that Tony wouldn’t break their pact – he was pretty sure that only Abby took pinky swears seriously. What real grown up did? And if Tony told Kate what they had talked about and what they were planning to do, then McGee’s life was over. Not to overreact or anything, but there was no way that Kate would ever let him forget that a) he struck out at Envy where no one was supposed to strike out, and b) he had to turn to _Tony_ of all people for help on how to flirt at a bar or a club in order to get the attention of a woman. Tony DiNozzo. Kate would absolutely ream him out for pandering to Tony’s already over inflated ego. And then ridicule him for not being able to even get a girl to dance with him at Envy.

But, surprisingly, Tony kept his head down, and worked the cold case, even coming up with a lead by mid-afternoon that he went out – by himself – to follow up on. McGee had a moment of extreme anxiety when he thought Tony would ask Kate to go with him, and he wouldn’t be able to monitor or confirm what Tony might reveal to her. The not knowing what Tony might have said would have killed him. But nope, he went out by himself and when he returned, he immediately turned the lead over to Balboa’s team, which was what Gibbs had ordered them to do. Gibbs didn’t want Tony and Kate running around with an agent as green as McGee out in the field without him supervising them, so Balboa’s team was on call to do the actual field work, with the rest of the MCRT assisting, if they came up with corroborated leads on the cold cases that they had been assigned. While Tony had seemed insulted that Gibbs didn’t trust him with the safety of the team for a week, he was not doing anything to go against Gibbs’ orders, and seemed to be carrying them out fairly strictly, even going so far as to pointedly glare at both McGee and Kate if they were goofing off too much in the bullpen. And interestingly enough, both he and Kate seemed to respond to that silent look and went back to work without too many complaints.

But that afternoon, McGee watched as Tony outlined his findings, the new things he had discovered and confirmed when he’d gone out, as well as his theories on where he thought the case might go. And he watched as Balboa and his team listened intently, and even though Tony made little jokes here and there, he kept it fairly serious and case oriented and did not play around the way he did when Gibbs was around. Balboa and his team seemed to take Tony more seriously than Kate and he himself did, which was an odd feeling, since he and Kate were Tony’s actual teammates. But Balboa asked some clarifying questions and then agreed that Tony might have solved the case. After Tony made his presentation, Balboa and his team, and Kate and Tony geared up to round up the three suspects that Tony had linked together, the evidence Tony had dug up pointing to them colluding to commit the murder. McGee was left in the bullpen to coordinate the arrests by tracking the suspects’ cell phone locations.

After the arrests, Tony worked with Balboa’s team to conduct interrogations while Kate and McGee continued to work the paper trail. Balboa dismissed his team by 1800, insisting that the suspects could be kept in isolated cells overnight without the case being jeopardized, which was a very different move than what Gibbs would have done. Gibbs would have made them work through the night to close the case and only sent them home after all their reports had been completed. But Balboa was one of those team leads who understood that this was a case that had originally gone cold, and the suspects were in no danger of committing further crimes at this point, and that his team had families and a life outside of work. Balboa himself was happily married and had two little kids whose pictures he proudly displayed at his cube.

So Tony told McGee and Kate that they were quitting for the evening as well, since work on the now active cold case would resume with Balboa’s team in the morning. Kate whooped and cheered and left in a rush, in case Tony changed his mind. And after she left, Tony looked at McGee, eyebrows raised.

“You maybe want to go out for a drink, McGee?” he asked mildly.

McGee couldn’t help but nod enthusiastically.

“Then let’s go pick Abs up from Forensics.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a long chapter but I couldn't really see a good place to split it. So you get it all. :D
> 
> RPD, your artwork rocks!!

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

Tony drove them to a bar that was fairly crowded for it being a weeknight. But instead of sitting at the bar, he led them to a round high top table, still in the bar area instead of the restaurant area, a corner table from which they could observe the bar as well as the entire room without being too obvious. He nodded his head at the corner seat, wordlessly asking McGee to sit in the chair with the best view of the room and he held Abby’s chair out for her as she took her seat.

“I’ll get the first round,” he offered, and turned to leave.

“Wait! I haven’t told you what I want to drink!” McGee objected.

“An Old Fashioned, right? Whiskey and Soda?” Tony turned for a moment.

“Y-yeah!” McGee stared open mouthed at Tony. “How’d you know?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “It’s Sherlock Holmes’ drink,” he shook his head before he left.

“How’d Tony know what I drink?” McGee asked Abby. “Did _you_ tell him? Did you tell him I want to write novels like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?”

“Course not,” Abby assured him. “I don’t share pillow talk, McGee.”

The young agent sighed in relief. “So how’d he know?”

“Tony knows people inside and out,” Abby told him, her eyes serious. “He likes to play around, but think about it – he and Gibbs were a two man team for two years before Kate came on board. Do you think Gibbs would have kept Tony around if he wasn’t at least as sharp as you or Kate? You’ve heard the stories of how many TADs Gibbs chewed up and spat out before he found Tony and recruited him.”

McGee shrugged. He’d never really given any thought as to why Gibbs might keep Tony around. Hell, he was too busy wondering why the hell Gibbs was keeping him, McGee, around on the team to wonder about the presence of anyone else. He was a far cry from a real field agent, after all. Although he did wonder when, in the wee hours of the night when he had been awake over twenty four hours and been assigned the task of dumpster diving in the dark for evidence, if Gibbs kept him on just to be someone Tony could delegate crap duties to after Gibbs delegated it to him. But now that he was thinking about, he started putting together all of the times that Gibbs actually solved a case without Tony’s input, versus all of the times that Tony put together the clues in order to get to the actual resolution. Tony was kind of like an idiot savant, at times, emphasis on the idiot. But boy, he could close cases. And McGee thought about how Gibbs and Tony seemed to communicate without words, much of the time, understanding each other with a single look and a quirk of the eyebrow. Or some such. He saw it then, how Gibbs let Tony deal with practically everyone who wasn’t a confirmed suspect. Tony talked to most of the families, unless there were children – Tony was notoriously awful at talking to children – but everyone else, Gibbs tended to give Tony the lion’s share of the interviews.

And the more he thought about it, the more he thought that he could maybe see that there was more to Tony than met the eye. But before he could think about this further, he saw the man in question walking back towards them, carrying their drinks. And as Tony walked, McGee could see how women’s eyes followed him to their table, and if he were to be honest, more than a few men watched Tony walk back to them. Tony wasn’t doing anything overt, and he wasn’t even the best looking man in the room, but somehow, he exuded a magnetism that just drew eyes to him in a way that McGee had never really seen at work, or the other times he’d witnessed Tony trying to pick up women before. This Tony was suave and confident without even saying a word. He wasn’t strutting or swaggering. There didn’t seem to be anything that McGee could see that Tony was doing differently. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew that Tony was somehow different here. The older man placed the drinks in front of them – Old Fashioned for McGee, a Cosmopolitan for Abby, and a rum and coke for himself. Then Tony gracefully folded himself into the chair next to McGee so he could scan the room.

“OK, see anyone you like yet?” Tony asked him.

Abby pulled her chair closer so she could lean in and listen, putting McGee in between herself and Tony.

McGee shook his head.

“That’s my fault,” Abby piped up. “I was distracting him with conversation.”

“That’s cool,” Tony grinned at her. “We don’t want to seem like we’re desperate or anything… Even though some of us might be a little on the desperate side.”

He winked at McGee, and for once, McGee didn’t feel like he was being crucified but instead that Tony’s gentle teasing was somehow making him one of the gang. He wasn’t sure if it was because a) he was seeing a different side to Tony, or b) if this was Stockholm syndrome – anything was better than being superglued to his drink – or, even worse, c) if Tony was knowingly manipulating his emotions, now that he knew that Tony could do that. But he couldn’t help but grin back and sip his drink. And then his eyes widened. Tony had gotten him a cocktail with really good whiskey. The expensive kind.

“Wow, thanks for this,” he told the older man. “It’s really good.”

Abby raised her glass and they clinked. “To happiness!” Abby said.

“To friends,” McGee smiled.

“To flirtation,” Tony winked naughtily at them, and McGee blushed, and Abby giggled. McGee suddenly felt warm and content and _seen_ , when Tony winked at him. How the hell had he done that?

“I want to learn how to do that!” McGee told him after he took a big swig of his drink. “Two words, and a wink, and you made me blush. And I don’t even _like_ guys!”

Abby laughed musically. “Well, you might not be as straight as you think you are then, Timmy,” she smiled at him. “Although I will admit that Tony is the master.”

“We’ll get to that later, McGee. Let’s stick to the plan. Find you a girl or three that will be amenable to your kind of flirting first. Get some wins under your belt, before we expand your horizon,” Tony took a sip of his drink.

McGee nodded. It was a logical plan.

“OK. So. Let’s look around the room and we can pick someone out that we think one of us might want to talk to,” Tony murmured, eyes scanning the room. “I’ll choose for the two of you, and you guys can choose mine.”

“Oh, are we all playing then?” Abby looked around eagerly.

“We’re all here. We’re all single. Might as well,” Tony grinned at her.

“Yay!”

McGee stared at Tony, eyes wide, because this was not a Tony he’d seen before. From what he had witnessed prior to this, usually when Tony was flirting, he was overt, with big gestures, fake winks, and terrible pick up lines. But this Tony was smoothly scanning the room and making eyes at people, subtly looking at them from beneath his lashes, and he toyed with his drink, his fingers rubbing slow circles on the glass of rum and coke in front of him. And when he drank, he brought the glass to his mouth and sucked the drink through his straw in a way that shouldn’t have looked sexy or suggestive because it wasn’t like Tony was going down on the straw, but good god, somehow, even though it was in no way obvious, it did kind of look like he was going down on the straw. Despite the fact that they were sitting at the corner table, even McGee could see that Tony was giving coy looks to several people and receiving smoldering looks back.

“How the fuck did you _do_ that?” McGee asked in a hushed whisper.

“Flirting,” Tony declared, “is fun. Tonight I feel like having fun so I’m trying to see who else wants to have fun. This is how I do it. If I wanted a no strings attached fuck, then it’s a different look. See the brunette in the skirt suit – suit’s department store but her shoes are Louboutin and her panty hose has one of those intriguing lines going down the back. _She_ wants to have fun. Maybe a hot fuck later but fun now.”

McGee tried to look at the woman surreptitiously. He nodded. The woman was beautiful, and sitting at a table with a bunch of other women.

“See the drinks they’re all drinking?” Tony continued.

“Like mine,” Abby gestured to her glass.

“Cosmos,” Tony agreed. “Four women, all slightly different. They think they’re like the women of _Sex and the City_.” Tony named the highly popular TV series.

“You watch _Sex and the City?_ ” McGee gasped.

“It’s a study on relationships and women living in a city. Of _course_ I watch the show,” Tony said, eyes still on the woman. “We can discuss my opinions on whether it’s realistic or true, but I think it does say out loud a lot of the things that many women think about but would never voice.”

McGee stared at him in surprise.

“Ooooh,” Abby snuck a look at them. “She’s the Carrie,” she said knowingly. “The shoes give it away.”

“Agree,” Tony nodded looking away from the woman and McGee watched, his face flaming, as Tony glanced back, the movement of his eyes, the tilt of his head, eyelids at half mast, utilizing his extremely long lashes, holding the woman’s gaze for a moment, the corner of his lips quirking up just a touch, and McGee watched him turn away and scan the room again as if that contact was enough and he was moving on. But his hand continued to caress his glass. McGee realized that he was not the only one mesmerized by the movements of Tony’s fingers. The woman seemed unable to look away. And when McGee thought about it, he realized that Tony’s fingers were moving on it as if he were gently and thoroughly caressing a woman’s nipple.

“Oh my god,” he gasped to Abby.

“Yup,” Abby nodded sagely. “Even _my_ nips are puckering up.”

Tony laughed at that and kicked Abby under the table. “Shut up. That’s gross,” he shuddered. “You’re like a sister to me.”

“Hey!” Abby kicked him back. “ _You’re_ gross!”

And then there was an epic battle of under the table kicks and McGee had to finally put a stop to it because he was probably the one being kicked more than Tony or Abby was given his unfortunate position in between them. “Hey! Enough with the kicking!” he yelled.

Tony and Abby laughed and stopped the kicking. And then a waitress appeared, bringing another rum and coke and putting it in front of Tony.

“From the lady at that table,” she inclined her head and Tony’s eyes brightened and he turned to smile at ‘Carrie’. McGee watched as Tony carefully mouthed ‘thank you’ in such a way that the Carrie blushed and gave him a little wave.

After the waitress left, McGee sighed. “Shit, you didn’t even have to do anything and that chick bought you a drink,” he groaned. “How can I compete with that?”

“We’re not in a competition, McGee,” Tony told him gently.

“Why, cause Carrie over there is out of my league?” McGee asked defensively.

“No,” Tony told him, infinitely patient. “She’s predisposed to having a fun, flirtatious evening, and I’m giving off that vibe tonight. You, on the other hand, need to loosen up. Abs – go get the next round and make McGee’s heavy on the whiskey, will you? And on your way back, go say hi to the Dallas Cowboys ballcap at the corner of the bar. He’s been eyeing you.”

Abby pouted. “I hate the Dallas Cowboys. The last time I dated someone who was into football, they ended up trying to destroy my coffin when I broke up with them!”

“Not this guy,” Tony told her. “He likes football, but he’s not obsessed. I’m thinking he’s probably from Dallas and he’s proud of it. And you know Texans and their football. But anyway, I think he’s a musician – I think those are guitar callouses on fingers? Can’t be sure, but pretty sure he’s a guitarist. Not country music though. He’s too cool for that. I’m thinking folk, maybe a singer/songwriter? I’d say that he just wants some no complications company.”

Abby carefully looked at the guy and realized that he was staring right at her. He turned away quickly, embarrassed at being caught staring.

“And oh look! He’s blushing! You know you like ‘em when they blush!” Tony grinned at her.

“Alright. I’ll get the next round and that guy’s number,” Abby agreed. “No dates tonight ‘cause I want to see what happens with Timmy.”

“Just a coke, straight up this time though for me, Abs. I’m driving,” Tony reminded her.

Tony and Abby nodded at each other and Abby stood and practically skipped to the bar, making Tony snort in amusement.

“So for tonight, since this is practice, no stress OK?” Tony told McGee.

“OK,” McGee said determinedly.

“Relax, Timothy,” Tony grinned at him. “You look like you’re about to face the firing squad. And you don’t want to give off that vibe.”

McGee sighed and shook himself a little before he nodded. “OK. I’m ready,” his voice only cracked a little bit at that.

Tony’s grin widened but he made no further comments on McGee’s state of mind. “OK, I think you should see if you can buy _that_ chick a drink. You’re still thinking women, right?”

McGee kicked him under the table, making him laugh.

“Just checking,” he asserted, tongue in cheek. “Cause I see a couple of guys you might totally be into if you get over your no guys ban.”

“You suck. Which woman?”

“Sitting at the booth by herself with a book.”

McGee saw her then. She was lovely – porcelain skin, dark, dark hair pulled back in some kind of complicated up do, and she was reading an actual book, nursing a drink and what looked to be a plate of fries. She was exactly the kind of woman he would fantasize about, but would never have the courage to approach.

“What?” he swallowed with difficulty. “Tony, she’s way out of my league! And she’s reading a book! She’s not here to socialize! Everyone knows that!”

“Grasshopper, did you see what shes’s reading?”

McGee squinted. “Can’t make it out,” he admitted.

“Shit, McGee. She’s reading _The Two Towers_ ,” Tony rolled his eyes. “Tolkien, hard cover, publish date pre-dates the movies by a lot. It’s an old copy, well loved, but well kept. That woman would never put a book down on its face and break the spine, or dog ear her books. She wants to keep them in mint condition, but she loves them so much she can’t just not read the book. And look at her jewelry – sterling silver dragon pendant with what looks to be a ruby eye, and her earrings are in the shape of a sword. Also with a ruby set in the hilt. I would guess that she has a July birthday, because rubies are the July birth stone. That’s my birth month too, in case you want to thank me with jewelry after we fix you up with someone, Probie,” Tony winked playfully at him. “Although I’m not too partial to earrings, especially the kind that a perp can get a hold of and rip out of my lobe. That shit hurts. And, back to the subject of earrings, I don’t think that’s just any old sword in her ears, I think those are special order. Maybe even custom made for her – I think that’s Excalibur.”

McGee gawked at Tony who was still looking at the woman reading a book, but doing it in such a way that it didn’t look like he was looking at her. Where the hell was he getting all this information from? They were halfway across the room from the woman!

“I’d guess she probably role plays, maybe even Dungeons and Dragons sort of thing? Definitely some kind of tabletop gaming,” Tony continued. “Her clothes aren’t designer or flashy, but they’re good quality. Her shoes have a low heel, practical, but still sexy. No nonsense panty hose. She’s some kind of analyst, I would guess, for one of the alphabet soups. Not a field agent, but she’s smart as a whip. Her knowledge of geek crap would rival yours. She probably plays MMORPGs some weekends – you may even know her by her nick because she would be really good.”

“How do you even know about MMORPGs?” McGee breathed. “And that I play them?”

Tony gave him a wry glance. “Seriously? You’re _still_ asking me stupid questions?”

McGee nodded, conceding the point.

“Oh, look look. Abby’s talking to the singer/songwriter from Dallas,” Tony turned his attention away from the woman McGee wanted to keep staring at. McGee turned to the corner of the bar and saw that Abby was speaking to the guy. He had a hand on Abby’s back as he leaned down to speak into her ear. He was a couple inches taller than Abby, even though she was wearing her platform combat boots. “He’s tall,” Tony said. “She likes ‘em tall.”

They watched as their friend chatted the guy up and then there it was, the guy scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to Abby.

“Money! She got his number,” Tony said approvingly.

“Well, he was already staring at her,” McGee grumbled. “The woman you want me to go talk to is completely unapproachable!”

“McGee – she’s reading a book in a _bar_. She hasn’t looked at her watch even once, so she isn’t waiting for someone. She’s nursed that same drink for the entire time that we’ve been here, and she’s not having a full meal. She’s not just reading a book in a bar for fun. She’s here because she does want company, she just wants a certain kind of company, and she needs the book as an excuse to put off unwanted company,” Tony rolled his eyes, speaking to McGee as if he were a less than bright five year old.

Abby came back with their drinks and grinned triumphantly, and she and Tony did a complicated high five.

“I have his number and we’re going to see each other for drinks after work tomorrow,” she was smug.

“Well done,” Tony grinned at her. “My three o’clock, Abs. See her? The chick reading _The Two Towers_ is who McGee is going to chat up.”

Abby snuck a glance and turned back, nodding vehemently. “Right up his alley,” she agreed. “I bet she’ll even love the stutter.”

Tony nodded in agreement. “Well?” he turned to McGee, one eyebrow raised. “Go on then.”

“Ummmm….”

“Here,” Abby pushed his fresh glass over. “Liquid courage.”

McGee stared at Abby and Tony who were both looking at him expectantly. He sighed, gulped down the last of his first drink and then took of huge swig of the new one Abby had brought over, making a face, his eyes watering as the liquid burned down his throat. Abby had not sprung for the expensive whiskey, but she had taken Tony’s advice and asked for it heavy on the whiskey.

“What do I talk about?” he asked.

“Start with some kind of greeting, like I don’t know, ‘hi’ or something,” Abby advised him.

“She’d probably be into some kind of conversation about the difference between Peter Jackson’s movies and what Tolkien wrote. I mean, some people get off on the fact that in the book, Merry and Pippin snuck away from the Rohirrim battle with the Orcs and managed to have a snack break before they fully escaped the Orcs, uncaring about the battle going on around them. And they hate that in the movie Merry and Pippin exhibited no happy playful carefree hobbit-like behavior when escaping the Orcs,” Tony murmured, giving coy looks to someone else now and playing with his straw.

“How does he even _know_ that?” McGee asked Abby.

“Don’t ask,” Abby told him, her tone soothing. “It’s better not to know where he gets his knowledge from. It would be very disturbing. To him, especially, to give away all his secrets in one night.”

Tony stopped the coy looks, turned to Abby and stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture and even threw in a fond middle finger. McGee chose to leave the table before he got caught in the middle of another under the table kicking battle. 

McGee’s inner monologue continued to drone on as he stood up. Time to slay the dragon. Ha. She has a dragon pendant. Oh god. Don’t laugh like an idiot even before you talk to the woman, Timothy! She doesn’t need to question your sanity even before you say hello. He quelled that voice as best he could.

The next few minutes were a huge blur in his head. He went over to the table where the woman was reading, and hemmed and hawed and stuttered through the introductions, but the woman looked up and didn’t give him an unfriendly look. And she invited him to sit across from her, and they spoke at length about the differences between Tolkien’s books and the Lord of the Rings movies. Damn Tony and his accurate reading of people. But it worked. However it was he did it, it worked. The woman was an analyst with the government, although she did not name her employer, and she liked that McGee was a Federal Agent, and that he was trying to be a field agent, although he was fairly new at it. McGee bought her a drink and they talked for a while, before the woman, Kiera, had to leave. McGee gave her his number, and with a soft smile, she recited hers, and McGee scrambled to write it down. She left after she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, making him blush bright red.

He made his way back to their table, grinning like a loon, and Tony was smiling back at him proudly. “That’s my boy!” Tony slapped his back and sat his ass down, pushing a fresh drink in front of him. “And how did that go?”

“Her name’s Kiera, she’s an analyst like you said, rubies are her birthstone, and yes, that was Excalibur in her ears,” McGee babbled. “We had this awesome discussion about the differences between what Tolkien wrote and the movies…”

“Cliff notes on that please,” Abby interrupted him playfully.

He glared at her. “And we talked about how far MMORPGs have come. I don’t know her nick but I’m sure she plays…”

Abby cleared her throat loudly. “Yes, and you got her number?”

“I gave her mine and yes she gave me hers,” McGee blushed.

“Show it to me,” Abby said. “In case it’s a fake number.”

“It’s a real number. I wouldn’t have steered my Probie wrong,” Tony objected.

McGee showed them his notebook with the hastily scribbled numbers.

“Those are legitimate digits,” Tony declared.

“I agree,” Abby sighed, and slapped a twenty into Tony’s hand.

“You bet on me to _fail?_ ” McGee yelled at Abby.

“Well,” Abby made a face and gave him a look filled with guilt. “You _did_ strike out at Envy!”

Tony laughed loudly at that and McGee had to kick him under the table.

“After all I’ve done for you, McGeek,” Tony shook his head in mock disappointment.

“I’ll kick you again,” McGee threatened, making Tony laugh again.

Abby grabbed both their hands and glared at them. “You realize what this means, right?”

“You bet against me and lost?” McGee quipped.

Abby stuck her tongue out at him. “Besides that. This means that you and I, McGee, get to choose who Tony has to go hit on.”

“What about Carrie over there?” McGee turned to the table with the four women.

“Tony already went over there to thank her for the drink, and they’ve got each other’s numbers and even exchanged spit,” Abby made a face.

“And I have a date for tomorrow night,” Tony said happily. “I’m so gonna get laid tomorrow night. So I’m done, Abby. Ha!”

“Noooo, no, no, no, no, no,” Abby shook her head. “ _Carrie_ chose you. McGee and I didn’t pick her. The deal was, you picked the people for McGee and me, and we pick someone for you. _We_ haven’t made our choice yet.”

“Awww,” Tony pouted.

“Besides, Carrie and her friends are leaving, so the playing field is wide open now,” Abby said. “She’s waving to you, Tony.”

Tony waved back to the woman and kept his eyes on her swaying rear end as she walked out of the bar, making a soft noise of appreciation. “She’s got a nice ass. I love it when they wear the panty hose with that seam going down the back of their legs. I really do. Fuckin’ sexy.”

“I agree,” Abby said, her eyes trained on Carrie’s retreating figure too.

McGee gaped at Abby’s open interest in the woman.

“But that still doesn’t negate the fact that McGee and I have not yet made our choice for you for tonight,” Abby insisted. “Right, McGee?”

McGee shrugged, not wanting to get in the middle of this argument. As far as he was concerned, if Tony already scored a date with Carrie – he idly wondered what her real name was, and if Tony would accidentally call her Carrie tomorrow – then why would he need to get another number for the evening? But if Abby had her heart set on it, he wasn’t going to fight her about it. He definitely knew better than that.

Tony rolled his eyes when Abby pouted. “Alright,” he said tiredly. Apparently he knew better than to fight Abby when she was this determined, too. “So. Who, then?”

Abby’s eyes lit up and she smiled happily. “My eleven o’clock. Leather jacket. Hottie.”

Tony paled. “ _Abby! No!_ ” he shook his head.

McGee glanced over and saw that it was a man wearing dark jeans, blue Henley shirt, and a stylish leather jacket. He was maybe five or ten years older than Tony and he caught the guy stealing a glance at their table.

“Is it because he’s a guy?” McGee asked.

“No,” Abby shook her head.

“Yes!” Tony was nodding. “You know I swore off men after that last guy!”

“That was like six months ago, Tony!” Abby said sadly. “I know that ended terribly and you both got hurt, but come on. You’ve got to get back on that horse.”

“Why?” Tony whined.

“Because you love men. You’ve always loved men. Hiding from men is just going to hurt you in the long run!”

Tony pouted. “I can’t…” he sighed. “Not even for fun. I can’t go hit on that guy. What if he wants a relationship? I can’t take that chance. I’m not looking for a relationship. I just want some no strings attached fun.”

Abby took his hand. “You can’t live your life like this…”

“I can try,” Tony muttered.

McGee stared at his friends, eyes wide. Apparently Tony had been in a relationship with a man before, and was no stranger to it from what Abby was saying. But if he was understanding this correctly, some guy had hurt Tony, maybe even broken Tony’s heart and he was sticking to women now.

“Why can’t you choose the guys who only want a good time?” McGee wondered. “You don’t seem to have any trouble doing that with women.”

Abby sighed and gave McGee a sad look. “Because Tony has a type when it comes to men. And they all seem to want a relationship.”

Tony rubbed his face. “Let’s just take it as a win that I’m still flirting and dating women, huh?” he said softly. “Pick a girl. I’ll happily go hit on her for you.”

Abby blew out a long breath and began scanning the room again, her lips pursed. McGee could tell that she wanted to push Tony into going to the guy in the leather jacket – apparently someone who fit Tony’s type when it came to men – but she was going to hold her tongue. She frowned as she scanned the room. She leaned in and both men leaned in towards her.

“My seven o’clock. Not the blonde at the table, but the redhead.”

Tony’s eyes began scanning and he gave her a dirty look. He glared at Abby before he nodded. “Alright,” he told her.

“Wait,” McGee told him as Tony tensed to stand up. “Before you go, tell me what you see in her. Like how you read Kiera earlier.”

Tony nodded and relaxed back into his seat. The three had their heads close together as Tony began his cold read of the redhead. “I don’t think she’s a natural redhead,” he began. “But it’s a great color for her. She’s casually dressed, wearing sandals and not heels. Hmmm… Some kind of IT person, would be my guess. Maybe at some kind of research institute because she’s so casually dressed. Someplace that puts the work and creativity over appearances. Short fingernails, no sign of nail polish. She’s very practical and for the most part, she couldn’t care less about what people think of her. But look at her purse – that is a Birkin bag.”

Abby gasped.

“Why? What’s a Birkin bag?” McGee asked.

“A fuckin’ expensive bag,” Abby said reverently. “Is it real?”

“From what I can see from here, yeah,” Tony nodded. “I think she bought that for herself. No one bought that for her. So she’s probably someone high up on the food chain wherever she works. She doesn’t look like she comes from money. She’s worked hard and earned her way there. And she doesn’t need a man to help her get to wherever she wants to go.”

“What about the jewelry?” McGee asked. “What’s that tell you?”

“Classic. Diamond solitaire pendant, diamond studs in her ears, but she has a whimsical ring on the middle finger of her right hand. Can’t see the design clearly, but I think it’s a butterfly. Might be sterling silver, but given the diamonds on her neck and in her ears, I’m thinking probably white gold. And she has a matching clip of it in her hair. Yeah. Definitely butterfly. Can’t tell if it’s a specific species from here though,” Tony murmured softly, eyes skimming over to the table. “So she’s pragmatic – sensible jewelry that will appreciate in value, classic yet beautiful, but with a fun side to her with the butterfly highlights. She’s someone who keeps a clean house, a stocked pantry, her gas tank is never on Empty, but she’ll surprise you with a bungee jumping outing or something like that when you least expect it.”

“What does the friend with her tell you about her?” McGee was fascinated by the soft words coming out of Tony’s mouth. Was this how he saw people? He looked at them and was able to figure out what they did, what they were like, who they were when it all came down to it, so he’d be able to figure out the best way to interact with them? And had he meant it seriously when he said he approached life like it was an undercover op? What had he seen in McGee and Kate then, to act the way that he acted around them? Why did he think they needed him to act that way? McGee was scared to ask that question, so he focused instead of what Tony was starting to say about the blond sitting with the redhead.

“See? Abby wanted to get me a challenge. The blond is in a very anti-men, anti-fun mood. She’s here to vent and the redhead is one of her best friends. Red is more successful than the blonde, but the blonde and she go way back and money would never come between them,” Tony said. “Neither would a man.”

Abby grinned impishly at him. “You needed a challenge. Carrie was way too easy,” she said smugly.

“Plus, Red doesn’t care about appearances and she’ll take one look at me and think I’m way too high maintenance,” Tony pouted. “I should be more casually dressed to talk to her. And I’m pretty sure that her friend the blonde will see all the guys that broke her heart in me when I walk up to that table. I can tell right now that I would have been more her type if she wasn’t in an anti-men, no boyfriend for me phase.”

McGee listened closely as Tony dissected the friend and was about to ask what Tony’s approach was going to be when Abby reached over him, grabbed Tony’s wrist and hissed.

“ _Incoming_ ,” she whispered urgently.

The three guiltily sprang apart at the table, and McGee looked up to see leather jacket man – the guy Abby had called a hottie – almost right at their table, with a smile for Tony.

“Hi,” the man said.

McGee stared at him – dark hair that was more salt than pepper, smile lines that deepened around his eyes and his mouth, blue eyes. He might be as much as a decade older than Tony but he kept himself in shape. The Henley covered broad shoulders and tapered down to slim hips. His wrist and forearms, what little of it McGee could see, looked corded and well muscled. The jeans were old and worn, the material looked butter soft and comfortable, and it looked that way not because it had been designed that way. The man had probably worn it for years in order to get it that washed and comfortable. McGee couldn’t tell if it was any kind of designer brand and he couldn’t tell if the leather jacket was expensive either, but the man’s smile was open and hopeful, and tender towards Tony in a way that made him want to look away. Like it was a private smile.

“Hi!” Abby greeted him, smiling brightly when Tony sat silently, looking up at him, looking a little lost.

“I know it’s awfully presumptuous of me, but I wonder if you would mind if I joined you for a few minutes?” the man asked politely.

“Oh, no no no. We don’t mind. Not at all. Please, take a seat,” Abby pointed to the chair next to Tony, ignoring the wide eyed look of horror he gave her, and the man gave her a small grin and nod of thanks as he took his seat.

“I’m Samuel,” the man said. A waitress came over and put down another round of drinks, including a beer for Samuel.

“This round’s on him,” the waitress nodded at Samuel.

“Thank you,” Abby smiled at him again. “I’m Abby. This is Tim and that’s Tony,” she made the introductions.

Samuel smiled at them all before he turned his blue eyes on Tony. “Hi,” he said softly.

“Hi,” McGee watched as Tony blushed as he replied and shyly smiled back, fingers toying with his drink. Tony and shy were two words McGee would never have thought to put together in the same sentence. But there he was. Blushing and tongue-tied. He really liked the look of this guy, McGee thought with shock. Wow, Tony liked men! He _really_ liked them. McGee’s brain struggled to adjust to this blushing and, dared he say it, kind of adorable version of Tony.

Samuel sat and talked with them, the usual get to know you chatter. He was a carpenter, specializing in restoration of old houses, and McGee watched as Tony’s face flushed when he said that. Apparently Tony had a thing for men who worked with their hands.

“So you must be good with your hands,” Abby said echoing McGee’s thoughts, tongue in cheek, eyeing Tony significantly.

“I have my moments,” Samuel grinned back.

And Samuel was fun. When Abby let it be known that they were there to help McGee get his groove on, and McGee retaliated by saying that he wasn’t the only one getting his groove on that night, Samuel joined in the looking at people game and trying to cold read them. He was in no way as good as Tony was, but he seemed to hold on to every word Tony said as Tony started to loosen up again. They had a couple more drinks, and by this time they were all a little buzzed.

“Maybe you can all come and have dinner with me?” Samuel asked them.

“Oh McGee and I can’t,” Abby said firmly. “He made me lose twenty bucks to Tony tonight, so he’s buying me dinner. But Tony’s free. You should take Tony out to dinner.”

Tony tried to kick Abby under the table, but she had wisely slid her legs out of the way so McGee ended up getting kicked.

“ _Ow!_ ” he exclaimed. “You two have _got_ to stop kicking me under the table! I didn’t even _do_ anything this time!”

“Tony?” Samuel turned to Tony, hopeful grin on his face.

Tony pursed his lips, hesitating, and McGee saw the dimples dance in Tony’s cheeks before he nodded. “OK,” he agreed.

“Good,” Abby stood and pulled McGee up. “Nice to meet you Samuel. I’ll see you tomorrow, mister,” she leaned over and gave Tony a hug and kissed his cheek.

And as McGee was dragged out of the bar by Abby, he turned back to look and saw that Samuel had taken Tony’s hand in his, and they were starting to walk out together. Abby pulled him out to a dark corner around the corner from the bar entrance, waiting for Samuel and Tony to get to the parking lot, and she shushed McGee firmly when he tried to object. They stood in silence and watched as Samuel courteously opened the passenger door for Tony and closed the door behind him, and Tony got into a pickup truck with the carpenter. Before they pulled away, Tony turned to the dark corner where they were standing and deliberately lifted his middle finger, and Abby stifled a giggle.

“Oh my god!” McGee breathed after the truck moved out of sight. “Tony is into men!”

“Oh yeah,” Abby agreed. She dragged McGee back into the bar, this time to the restaurant area. “Let’s eat.”

“Tony’s really good at reading people!” McGee exclaimed after they were seated.

“Uh-huh,” Abby agreed, perusing the menu.

“And you guys do this all the time?”

Abby looked up and gave McGee a smile. “Tony’s my friend,” she said simply. “I look out for him.”

“Some guy broke Tony’s heart?” McGee asked.

“Not my story to tell,” Abby turned back to the menu.

“Who am I going to tell who’s even going to believe me?” McGee threw up his hands. “I don’t even believe it myself and I saw it with my own eyes. Tony holding hands with a macho carpenter, and letting the guy take him out to dinner! In a pickup truck! Shit! Tony’s the girl in that relationship, isn’t he?”

Abby giggled. “Tony likes his men to be men,” she agreed. “But he likes women to be whatever they are. He doesn’t have a type when it comes to women.”

McGee shook his head helplessly. And then a disturbing thought struck him. “Umm, Abs?”

“Yeah?”

“Samuel offered to buy us all dinner,” he stammered, blushing profusely.

“Yeah. I was there. I told him no ‘cause you are buying me my dinner, mister.”

“No, no. I was just thinking…” McGee knew that his voice was cracking. “Remember when Tony said if he wanted to fuck the girl, he would have bought the entire round she was ordering, even though it was a big order?”

“Yeahhh,” Abby’s eyes were sparkling mischievously.

“Does it mean what I think it means? That Samuel offered to buy us all dinner?”

“That he wants to get into Tony’s pants? Hell, yeah.”

“So…”

“Tony’s probably going to get a good fucking after dinner. Yup,” Abby said with relish. “What should I order?”

McGee stared at Abby who was flipping through the menu, completely unconcerned. “Right, then,” he said weakly, turning to his own menu.

The next day, Tony behaved exactly the way he always did at work – harassing McGee and Kate as they finished up the case with Balboa’s team. Tony did not in any way behave any differently towards McGee. Except the one time McGee caught him alone in the men’s room.

“You OK?” McGee asked him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony looked puzzled.

“Samuel was good to you? I was concerned that you got in his truck with him and we didn’t, you know, really know him or anything.”

Tony gave him a shocked look. “You were worried? About me?”

“Someone has to be, right?”

Tony blushed then and he gave McGee a small shy smile. “I’m pretty sure Abby had his fingerprints off one of the glasses she pushed into her purse last night. DNA even,” he said softly. “She definitely had his license plates from where you guys were watching us leave in the dark like voyeurs. And I made sure to call her when I got home. Or she would’ve come looking.”

McGee nodded. So, Abby really did look out for him. “In my defense, Abby made me be quiet in the darkness. I didn’t really like that.”

“She likes to make sure she sees the license plates of the vehicles I get into if it’s a random hookup,” Tony explained. “I do the same for her if the roles are reversed.”

“Did you have a nice time at dinner with him?”

Tony grinned sheepishly for a moment before the smile turned wicked. “Oh yeah,” he said suggestively. “Especially the dessert.”

“ _Eww_ ,” McGee made a face, although ended up grinning at the man. “You going to see him again?”

Tony shrugged.

“You _are!_ ” McGee exclaimed.

Tony raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to answer, but then someone walked into the men’s room and they both clammed up and moved on. It was odd, but McGee felt a little thrill because now he felt that he knew Tony better than anyone on their floor did, even though he was still new to the DC office.


	3. Chapter 3

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The next day, McGee was staring in disbelief at Tony as he behaved like his usual obnoxious frat boy self. Or maybe even a more exaggerated version of the obnoxious frat boy. McGee, Kate and Tony were having lunch together and Tony was in full-blown sugared-up bouncing off the walls sexaholic frat boy mode, and he was so obnoxiously hitting on their waitress that McGee was sure she was going to call the cops and accuse Tony of sexual harassment if he didn’t dial it down. When Kate went to the restroom, he punched Tony’s arm.

“What the hell?” he started. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What do you mean, Probie?” Tony leaned back, legs wide open, stretching his lean body as they sat, arms outstretched, reminding McGee of a big cat.

“Why are you being so mean to the waitress? She doesn’t deserve this!” McGee hissed.

“I know,” Tony had the grace to look ashamed. “I’ll give her a huge tip, I promise.”

“Maybe you could dial it down?”

“I would, but Kate needs this today.”

“What?”

“Kate. Needs. This,” Tony enunciated slowly and carefully, as if McGee were mentally incapable of understanding the simple monosyllabic words. Which as it turned out, he didn’t.

“I don’t understand,” he shook his head. “What do you mean Kate needs this?”

Tony sighed and leaned in, and McGee leaned forward, heads together like at the bar that time. This was becoming second nature to him now. It wasn’t uncomfortable, especially when he wasn’t expecting Tony to prank him while they heads were together – no Kick Me sign to be stuck onto his back without him being aware of it, or suddenly being superglued to his fork, or some other such antic that he would have suspected Tony of pulling on him before Abby introduced him to what he thought of as the ‘real’ Tony DiNozzo. The one that he reluctantly had to agree with Abby, that was actually a sweetheart.

“Kate’s having a really bad day today. Her mouth is doing that twitchy thing where she just wants to yell at something and pound away at something.”

“And?” McGee had noticed that Kate had been a little extra testy that morning. But Kate had her moods. Everyone did.

“I’m giving her a target that isn’t going to sue her for slander or if she gets physical, sue her for bodily injury,” Tony stated so matter of factly that McGee had to shake his head. “I don’t want for her to be brought up on charges of brutality when arresting someone, or something like that. She’s so wound up today.”

“Wait. So because she’s having a bad day, you’re acting up so she will what? Yell at you? Maybe even hit you?” McGee stared at him in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” Tony asked, his eyes serious.

“Wait… You’re doing this because she needs to take her aggression out on someone?”

Tony nodded.

“And you’re just _volunteering_ for it?”

Tony nodded again, eyes still serious.

“But…”

“It’ll be better for the team if she gets it all out on me, and calms the fuck down,” again Tony was deadly serious.

McGee gave him a disbelieving look.

“Look, I’m guessing it’s something to do with her sister – Kate’s got some kind of weird love/hate competition thing going with her sister? I understand that from a textbook perspective, since I was an only child and never had to worry about whether my dad loved my sibling more than he loved me. But Kate though, I’m guessing she spoke to her parents last night or maybe even this morning, and Kate’s sister has done something noteworthy or accomplished something that she hasn’t and she has been unfavorably compared to her. It wouldn’t be the first time,” Tony continued. “It’s better she punch me in the arm, or get mad at me and call me names, because then, she’ll feel much better about the whole thing with her sister. And she’ll focus on the work and not miss shit at work, or be distracted if we’re out in the field, or take her anger out on some bystander or a suspect or something. Safer all around to have her focus her aggravation on me instead of somewhere else.”

McGee stared at him. “I want to ask you how you know all this, but I know you better now,” he finally muttered.

“Thank you. Now stop staring at me like I grew a second head and just join in with her at yelling at me,” Tony urged him. “She’ll feel vindicated. Like I deserve it.”

McGee stared at him wordlessly, and almost jumped when Tony sprang back and began harassing him and calling him McNames just in time for Kate to come back to the table and whack the back of his head but good.

“Stop picking on the Probie, Tony!” she yelled at him, making McGee feel angry that Kate couldn’t see what Tony was really doing. She was happily taking all the openings he was giving her and seriously taking out her suppressed anger on the man. And, she’d said ‘Probie’ as if he was a baby and not a full grown man, capable of defending himself. What kind of profiler was she that she couldn’t see what was going on under her own nose? Sure, McGee had made the same assumptions Kate had, but in his defense, he sucked at reading people. He always had. He had always been much better at figuring out machines and computers and codes and not living, breathing human beings. Kate’s life's work was supposed to be the understanding and analysis of human behavior. She needed to apply that not just to their cases, but to her own teammates, apparently.

“And you _better_ apologize to the server before we leave,” she smacked his arm.

“ _Ow!_ ” Tony glared at her. Then he gave McGee a significant look. Play along, Tony’s green eyes practically screamed at him.

“Yeah, Tony!” McGee chimed in a beat late, and a little lamely.

Luckily Kate didn’t notice, but Tony did and he rolled his eyes at him at the terrible acting on his part. But McGee couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but think about Tony, provoking Kate to abuse him because it would improve her work performance, and because it would make her feel better about herself overall. And that this was how Tony cared for her. All of a sudden his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. If Tony was caring for Kate, and no doubt for him too, without them knowing about it, then who among them was caring for Tony? Who was taking the time to save Tony from himself? It hadn’t been him, and it certainly wasn’t Kate. The question bothered McGee. A lot. Especially as Kate continued to yell at Tony and smack him around, as was her habit.

After lunch, McGee went down to Forensics with the excuse that it was his turn to bring Abby caf-pow in Gibbs’ absence, and he left Tony and Kate bickering in the bullpen. Tony was in fine form and Kate was definitely taking some kind of perverse pleasure in insulting him and punching his arm or doling out a head slap in place of Gibbs. Usually McGee enjoyed seeing Kate abuse Tony, given Tony’s usual treatment of him, but right now he couldn’t swallow it.

He brought Abby her caf-pow and sat at her table, arm propping his chin, and he knew that his expression was glum.

“What?” Abby was all concerned. “Did it not go well with Kiera last night?”

“Oh, it went really well with Kiera last night. We’re going out again next week, in fact,” McGee brightened up a little.

“Then why are you in here, looking like a little lost puppy dog, McGee?” Abby was sympathetic now, and sat next to him, one arm around his shoulder.

“Tony’s provoking Kate into yelling at him and hitting him, because he says she’s in a bad mood because her parents compared her to her sister. And Kate needs the outlet for her anger at her family, so he’s providing it,” he recited in a monotone.

Abby sighed. “OK,” she said and nodded.

“So you know that he does this?” McGee demanded.

“Well, yeah,” Abby shrugged. “He says it’s how he maintains and balances team morale. It’s his job as the Senior Field Agent to do that.”

“What?” McGee threw up his hands. “It’s not part of his job description to do whatever it takes to keep us happy!”

“I know, McGee. I’ve had this conversation with him way too many times,” Abby said sadly. “But he says the team comes first. Your happiness increases the efficiency of the team, so your happiness comes first.”

McGee thumped Abby’s desk with his fist. “Well then who’s taking care of Tony’s happiness in all this?” he growled.

Abby’s shoulders slumped and she blew out a long breath. “I try to,” her words were soft and apologetic. “And Gibbs sometimes. Maybe. I don’t know about that, though. How much Gibbs takes care of Tony, I mean. Sometimes he does, but sometimes he makes things worse.”

McGee rubbed his face. “Damn it,” he muttered. “It’s so hard to just sit by and watch him act all crazy when he was a completely different person and just so goddamned nice that night the three of us went out!”

“I know,” Abby agreed. “But this is what you get with Tony. He does what needs to be done, and acts the way he needs to in order to accomplish whatever it is he has in his head as being the right thing to do. But he always does have the best intentions though.”

“Shit,” McGee swore.

“Yup.”

“What can I do? He asked me to join in and gang up against him and agree with Kate because it’ll help her feel better if I side with her.”

“Just do as he asks in front of Kate. But maybe tonight, after we have your next lesson and practice on the art of flirtation, you take him out to dinner to thank him.”

McGee gazed at her for a moment before he nodded slowly. “OK. I can do that.”

“And try not to give him too hard a time on cases. Just do what he asks you to do. Or better yet, just ask him to explain why he wants you to do something a certain way so he won’t have to ask you to re-do things. I know neither of you likes it when he does that. But Tony likes teaching, and you’re _his_ Probie, and he’ll like it if you volunteer to be taught instead of waiting for him to yell at you.”

McGee’s face flamed with guilt. “I do give him a hard time about too many things, don’t I?”

“Eh, Timmy, Tony knows that he’s hard on you and that’s just going to make you hard on him, too.”

“He thinks I need to toughen up and that’s why he’s hard on me.”

“Yeah,” Abby looked guilty. “He wants you to succeed in the field. So he’s trying to toughen you up.”

“OK. Yeah. I can really listen to him when he’s trying to teach me stuff.”

“Good. That will really make him happy.”

McGee sat there for a few more minutes, listening as Abby talked through the evidence for another team’s case, and danced around to the deafening music in her lab. Finally she turned down the music and faced him.

“You better get back up to the bullpen before Kate goes ballistic on him though,” she told him. “Gibbs isn’t here to keep them from getting out of control.”

McGee gave her a grin and a hug before he went back up to the bullpen, sometimes joining in with Kate, and sometimes mediating if he felt she was being too hard on Tony. He was going to do his best to try to take care of Tony, too, since Tony was too busy taking care of the rest of the team. Somebody had to, and it seemed like if nobody else on the team knew Tony the way he did, then it was up to him to take care of his Senior Field Agent.

By the time the weekend rolled around, McGee had had one date with Kiera, and another date set up with her for the following week, and he and Tony and Abby had gone out to a couple more bars to give him practice with flirting. He was starting to pick out the type of girls he should approach and he also saw how Tony seemed to effortlessly change his own behavior, and sometimes, subtly his appearance, in order to talk to a woman. In all that time, Tony refused to approach a man, even though he’d technically gone out with Samuel and had already broken his vow to swear off men.

On Friday night, when the three of them descended on Envy, McGee felt incredibly hopeful and confident. Abby had taken him shopping and they had bought more new clothes for McGee and that night, he danced with several women and got a few of their numbers. He felt like a new man, more settled in who he was as a person in and out of work.

At one point during the evening, he and Abby found themselves waiting for drinks at the bar together and they turned to watch the bodies writhing on the dance floor. Tony was surrounded by women and men, a few of them gyrating their bodies against him and he was rubbing himself rhythmically right back on them. Tony’s dance moves were smooth and sinuous, somehow conveying grace and sex and lust and something as primal as the beat of the music. McGee had been shocked when Tony handed him and Abby each a string of condoms in the cab, with the warning to always wrap up and be safe. And seeing how Tony was dancing, McGee was sure that Tony was probably down a couple of condoms by this time. But since he was, for once, having a great time at a club, it didn’t bother him. Tony was Tony and although he’d learned a lot of new things about himself, Abby and Tony this past week, Tony was still Tony. Tony would always be the guy who ended up with the girl (or the guy, at times). But never for a relationship because he was adamantly pro-flirting and pro-having fun and vehemently anti-commitment.

McGee was swept into the wake of Tony’s Tony-ness. He and Abby were dancing together some time that evening, and Tony sidled up with the little entourage that he had acquired, and began dancing with them. Tony’s hands were all over Abby when they were dancing together, even lovingly caressing her breasts and moving down lower on her body. McGee looked away from Tony’s hands at that point, deciding that he really didn’t need to see him grope Abby anymore, but he couldn’t help watching them as they danced. Tony pulled her snug against him, grinding their crotches together, nose buried in her neck, and Abby wound her body around him in a way that made McGee think it wasn’t the first time they’d danced this intimately together. It was kind of disturbing, given that they thought of each other as brother and sister. McGee actually had a sister, and there was no way he would ever dance with Sarah the way Tony and Abby were dancing. And even though one of the women with Tony started dancing with McGee while Tony and Abby were occupied with each other, McGee was starting to feel a little slighted by their actions.

As if Tony knew what was going through McGee’s mind, he released Abby with a soft kiss on her neck and one arm snaked around McGee’s neck and he was pulled in to dance with Tony. Tony’s body moved sinuously against his, absorbing his slight awkwardness as he danced, and making him feel graceful and sexy. Tony ran his hands through McGee’s hair, smiling at him, eyes half lidded and seductive, but instead of feeling out of place, McGee found himself willingly rubbing himself against Tony. When Tony’s hand went on his ass and he ground their dicks together, McGee could feel Tony’s erection and he felt a thrill that he was making Tony hard. For whatever reason, it didn’t feel wrong or weird. It felt good as Tony held on to his hips and gyrated along with the music. But that was as far as it went. Tony never took it further than McGee was comfortable with. And surprisingly, dirty dancing with Tony was something McGee discovered he was comfortable with. Maybe now he understood a little how Abby might get carried away with it when dancing with Tony.

And Tony was proud of McGee. That night, McGee did not strike out at Envy. Tony was the first to leave, two gorgeous women on his arms, but by that time McGee was comfortably and successfully asking women to dance with him and buying them drinks. Before he left, he kissed both McGee and Abby on the cheek and told Abby he would call her when he got home, and she had better call him as well. Abby and McGee left at the same time not too long after that – Abby with a tall, dark, and handsome man with tattoos up and down his arms, and McGee with a tiny, delicate blond who was a graphic designer.

“Make sure you call me later so I know you got home safe,” Abby told him as she kissed him goodbye.

“I will. And I’ll worry if you don’t pick up.”

“Rule #3,” Abby assured him. As she started to turn away, McGee put a hand on her arm to stop her. She gave him a questioning look.

“Will you call me if you don’t hear from Tony?” he asked.

Abby’s smile was huge and lit up McGee’s heart, as if he had done something wonderful. “I will,” she promised. “Do you want me to let you know when I hear that he’s home safe?”

McGee nodded. Abby pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek, fluttering her fingers at McGee’s graphic designer before she skipped away with her tattooed hunk. McGee ended up coming home to his own apartment in the wee hours of the morning. He had checked in with Abby and Tony had checked in with her, so everyone was safe and accounted for. He tumbled into his bed as soon as he got home, and slept for a long while, before he went on with his weekend the way he usually did.

It felt odd not to see Tony for the rest of the weekend. He had seen Tony practically every night for the past week during their ‘field trips’ and it was weird to just stay in and have quiet time now. McGee went through the rest of the weekend the way he normally did – MMORPGs, sitting at his typewriter and pretend smoking his pipe, and eating junk food. The only difference was that he was exchanging text messages with both Kiera, his date from the bar, and Brigit, the blond graphic designer from Friday night.

Come Monday morning, for the first time in, perhaps ever, he walked into the bullpen and greeted Tony with an enthusiastic good morning and a wide smile. It was odd how much he’d missed Tony’s company over the weekend. Tony had been so good to him, giving him advice on how to spot the women who would be interested in, how to approach them if he was interested in them, and demonstrating how he morphed himself into whatever the prey Abby chose for him needed him to be. It was both fascinating and disturbing, but he felt true affection for the guy now that he could see past the one-dimension that Tony had ever let him see before this. And since he had caught Tony alone in the bullpen, Tony gave him a wide, open smile back as he returned McGee’s good morning. Instead of dropping his things off and starting up his computer immediately, McGee stopped by Tony’s desk and leaned down when Tony crooked his finger at him.

“I hear you got lucky at Envy?” he asked, his eyes gleaming naughtily.

McGee blushed and nodded.

“Veeery lucky?” Tony’s eyebrow went up.

McGee nodded again, his face flaming.

“You’ll have to tell me all about it later,” Tony whispered. “I want the details. How you approached her. What worked well. What didn’t work so well. A post mortem of the date, and maybe your thoughts on what we can work on, for further improvements. Yes?”

McGee nodded. “Drinks after work?” he suggested.

Tony nodded. “Unless we catch a case.”

McGee sighed. That was their caveat to everything, including the dates that McGee had set up with Kiera and with Brigit. He’d had to make sure that they knew if he had to cancel at the last minute because of a case, it wasn’t code for anything, like he wasn’t interested, or he was an asshole trying to string them along. It just meant that as a federal agent tasked to solve murders and other heinous crimes, and more importantly, as a federal agent who worked for one Leroy Jethro Gibbs, bastard boss extraordinaire, it was impossible to predict whether or not he would be able to keep all of his social appointments. Because if they caught a case, Gibbs would pursue it to the ends of the earth, and fuck anybody’s social life. It wouldn’t be code for anything, it would just be that McGee’s team caught a case and he was under Gibbs’ thumb and would have his orders to carry out. Luckily for him, both women seemed to understand and maybe even appreciate his honesty. Shit, Tony was seriously great at picking the women who would appreciate him for who he was. Tony really was the master, as Abby had said.

And then, Gibbs swept into the bullpen, back at the Yard for the first time in a week, barking “Where the hell is Agent Todd?”

McGee ran to his desk and began his daily start up and Tony was on the phone, calling Kate’s number and hissing into the phone. Gibbs started the day by giving Tony a sound smack on the back of the head that for the life of him, McGee couldn’t figure out what Tony could have possibly done to deserve in the split second that Gibbs had been back.

But then a body dropped, and they caught the case, and everything went from zero to a hundred miles an hour very quickly. McGee found himself falling into his usual pattern of behavior, working the crime scene as instructed by Gibbs. Tony was his usual self, with the gallows humor and the chirpy jokes. Kate was Kate, and she and Tony bickered like they usually did until Gibbs came along to put a temporary stop to it. But when Tony turned to McGee and ordered him to do something, for once, McGee didn’t make a face, or stomp his feet, or signal his displeasure at being ordered around. He nodded and ran off to do it. And if he wasn’t quite sure how to accomplish the task that Tony had set for him, he went back to his Senior Field Agent and asked him and Tony happily explained to him his thought process and what it was he needed McGee to do and what he found was the best way for him to do it.

Later, Kate elbowed McGee when they were driving back to NCIS together. Tony and Gibbs were in the car, off to pursue a lead on a possible witness, leaving him and Kate to drive the evidence back to the Navy Yard.

“What the fuck, McGee!” she yelled. “Are you trying to suck up to Tony or something?”

“What?” McGee frowned at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re just encouraging him, you know that?”

“Encouraging him to do what?”

“To keep lording things over us! As if he knows that much more than we do!” Kate yelled.

“Well, he’s supposed to be training me to be a field agent,” McGee gave her a weird look. Why was Kate so openly against Tony? “Unlike you, I am still a probationary agent. I _am_ a Probie. And Tony gave me some really good pointers today.”

“Did he pay you to act this way? Is this a prank?” Kate demanded.

“Kate, Tony’s our Senior Field Agent,” McGee muttered, feeling his face heat up and a blush creep up his face. Holy god, was he actually arguing with Kate about respecting Tony in the field? He was amazed at how much his opinion of Tony had changed in the scant week since he got to know the older man better.

“All he does is clown around.”

“You know that’s not true,” McGee said firmly. “He plays hard, sure, but he gets shit done. Or Gibbs would’ve fixed that.”

Kate stopped and thought for a moment.

“He was Gibbs’ second even before you came on the team,” McGee couldn’t help but keep talking.

“Yeah, but surely now that I’m here…”

McGee gave her a wicked grin. “So you’re saying that Gibbs hired you to take over from Tony? Then why is he still around? Why does he still outrank you and have seniority over you? Why does Gibbs delegate to Tony and trust him to delegate tasks further to you and me, instead of assigning the tasks separately to each of us, as if we were equals in his eyes?”

“Oh my god…” Kate groaned, glancing over and seeing the mischief in McGee’s expression. “Tony _did_ pay you to say all this shit, didn’t he? Just shut the fuck up and don’t talk to me unless it’s about the case.”

McGee laughed and poked Kate in the side and she slapped his hand away in exasperation before she gave him a reluctant grin.

“Alright… You and DiNozzo got me good today,” she accepted begrudgingly. “You’re not micced are you? He’s not listening in to this conversation and snickering like a fucking idiot? And if you are, DiNozzo, I hope Gibbs is slapping your brain right out of your skull right now!” She raised her voice for the last sentence.

McGee started laughing then. “I’m not micced up,” he chuckled. “Although now I really wish I was.”

“Shut up,” Kate shoved him.

And all of a sudden, McGee realized that not only was Tony getting what he needed out of Kate by behaving the way he behaved, keeping the team balanced and efficient, but it was actually a lot of fun to keep poking at Kate. For a profiler, she was surprisingly easy to fool, and it was really fun to push her buttons. He made a note to tell Tony all of this when they went out that night, and maybe they could really prank Kate for real and this time he would totally be micced up so the conversations would be recorded for posterity.

When the case finally wound down, the entire team was exhausted. McGee noticed that Tony seemed especially run down, dark circles under his eyes, a quieter demeanor overall, his usually animated green eyes seeming gray and dull. Gibbs had been especially hard on the team, maybe some kind of delayed reaction from being away for a week not having any minions to jump around and do his bidding? But he’d been hard on them, which meant that Tony had taken the brunt of it, trying to spare him and Kate, which was probably why he was so run down.

Gibbs asked McGee to get him coffee, so he ran off and made a quick call to Abby on his way to the coffee shop. When he returned, he had beverages for everyone, and he put a cup in front of Tony as well as a chocolate croissant and the tired agent looked up in surprise.

“I don’t drink coffee, McGee,” he told the junior agent. “It’s really not my thing. Tastes like crap. No offense, Boss,” Tony gave Gibbs a quick, guilty look.

“More for me,” Gibbs muttered.

“No, no. It’s hot chocolate,” McGee told him and walked away to give Gibbs his coffee.

Kate, who was sipping her own coffee was gawking as Tony sniffed his drink, broke into a beatific smile, green eyes visibly brightening and he happily began drinking his hot chocolate and tearing into the croissant.

“It’s even got whipped cream in it,” he breathed happily. “Wait a sec,” his brow furrowed as he took a careful, experimental sip.

Kate stared at him expectantly, as if expecting it to have salt instead of sugar or some other weird prank, but Tony’s eyes brightened happily instead.

“Is that… Are there mini marshmallows in here?” he asked McGee in wonder.

“Yup,” McGee sat and looked at his screen, trying not to look as happy as he was at the surprise and pleasure in Tony’s voice.

“How’d you even know?” Tony asked. “Never mind. I don’t want to know how you know. Thank you, Tim.”

McGee flushed with pleasure at Tony’s sincerity and happiness, and his use of Tim’s first name. Kate was staring at the both of them now, mouth open, trying to figure out what the hell was going on and why her two teammates were behaving so out of character.

“Reports!” Gibbs barked, and the three of them went back to work. But McGee caught Tony giving him small smiles of thanks while they worked, and he sent Abby a text thanking her for her tip on what to bring Tony.

After their reports were turned in, Gibbs let them leave early to make up for riding them hard the last few days. Abby snuck out with them and the three of them, Abby, McGee and Tony, gave Kate the slip, and ended up at a quiet bar where McGee was finally able to describe in great detail how he had approached Brigit at the club. Tony asked for even more detail and McGee had to struggle to remember some of it, but overall, Tony was pleased with his performance and Abby was just happy that McGee was happier now that he was able to get over his dry spell.

“No more sad, pathetic McGee in my lab,” she patted McGee’s hand fondly.

“I wasn’t that bad,” McGee huffed.

Abby gave him a look, one eyebrow raised and he folded.

“Alright. Maybe I was.”

After drinks, it was obvious that both McGee and Tony were absolutely beat, so they separated and went home for the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks again to Red_Pink_Dots for the awesome artwork!

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

The next morning, McGee ran into the elevator at the same time as Kate. He gave her a breathless greeting. God, he really needed to get into better shape. Maybe he could talk to Tony about it to see if he had tips on how he kept so fit, given their killer work schedule that left them absolutely no time or inclination for much else, especially going to the gym. It probably didn’t help that McGee had never been naturally athletic the way Tony was, but no doubt Tony would have advice for him if he only bothered to actually listen to the man.

Kate gave him a sharp look, hit the emergency button and stopped the elevator, in a harsh whine of metal. The elevator darkened as it lurched to a stop. Kate smacked his arm sharply, making him yelp.

“ _What?_ ” he asked grumpily.

“Why are you pandering to Tony?” she demanded in a low voice.

“What?” he asked, genuinely surprised.

“Bringing him ‘hot chocolate with whipped cream and mini marshmallows’?” Kate mocked in a nasal, high pitched voice. “And a croissant, too? I thought for sure you were pranking him and he’d find out that the whipped cream was actually laced with laxatives or something! Tell me you laced his drink with ex-lax?”

McGee shook his head. “It was just a hot chocolate the way Tony likes it,” he stammered. “I didn’t lace it with anything.”

“Nothing’s _just_ anything with DiNozzo,” Kate hissed. “He’ll make you pay for this. He’ll take it as a sign of weakness, like maybe you’re falling under his absurd spell or something and that maybe you’ll even think you’re friends. You know he will. He always does. And then he’ll use that. He’ll get back at you somehow for this supposed random act of kindness.”

McGee shrugged. “He’ll superglue me to something or bring me coffee with salt in it. It’s fine,” he couldn’t bring himself to get upset about the gazillion times that Tony had gotten him with some variation of the same tricks.

“So why on earth did you bring him something he actually liked yesterday?”

“I brought you your favorite coffee, and Gibbs’ too. Why not bring Tony something he enjoys instead of coffee, something he doesn’t even like to drink?” McGee shrugged. “He worked hard, too.”

“Oh my god,” Kate groaned. “How has he _brainwashed_ you?”

“He hasn’t brainwashed me!” McGee objected. “He’s still Tony and he can be incredibly annoying at times. But he has his good points, too. At times.” He added the last bit to ensure that he didn’t give Tony away entirely with their newfound friendship and understanding. He did instinctively understand that Tony didn’t show the side that McGee was now privy to to just anyone. And however it was Tony did the math in his head, so far, Kate hadn’t earned that kind of trust yet. So McGee had to at least try to protect Tony now that he did know a few things that could make Tony vulnerable to someone who might be inclined to use it against him. And if he gave Tony away, he knew that there was no way that Tony would ever forgive him for that betrayal and any friendship inroads they might have made in the past week would be completely over. Tony would slam that door shut, and McGee knew that he might even lose Abby’s friendship if this happened, since Abby had been the one to vouch for him with Tony. And he was not going to chance losing his two best friends in DC, even if it meant that he had to pretend like he didn’t even like one of them at work.

Kate glared at him. “Something is up,” she declared as she slammed her hand on the emergency button, re-starting the elevator. “I’ll get to the bottom of this,” she muttered grimly.

“Nothing’s up,” McGee denied it. “You’re imagining things, Kate.”

“ _Whatever_.”

And then they were on their floor and the two of them walked to the bullpen and found Tony already at his desk, typing away at his computer.

“Good morning,” he greeted them cheerfully.

“Whatever,” Kate rolled her eyes.

McGee returned the greeting with a small smile and sat at his desk.

Tony gave McGee a questioning look, inclining his head towards Kate, and McGee shrugged, rolled his eyes, and mouthed “Later”’. Tony nodded and turned back to his computer.

“Where’s Gibbs?” Kate asked Tony.

“MTAC,” the Senior Field Agent replied, not taking his eyes off his screen.

The three worked in silence for a while. Kate kept looking at Tony and McGee, trying to figure whatever it was she was trying to figure out.

“What?” Tony asked, his tone insolent. “I’m so fucking sexy this morning you can’t keep your eyes off me? Or maybe it’s McGee you have the hots for?”

Kate stuck her tongue out at him, grabbed her purse and flounced away. McGee scrambled over to Tony’s desk.

“She thinks you’ve brainwashed me,” he whispered.

Tony started laughing at that. “Brainwashing?” he shook his head. “She gives me way too much credit.”

“Anyway, I don’t want her to find out about the whole you helping me get dates thing.”

“We pinky swore, McGee,” Tony reminded him mildly. “I won’t risk the Wrath of Abby. Khan’s got nothing on her.”

McGee snickered at that bit of geek humor before he gave Tony a surprised look. How did Tony even know about Star Trek or Khan? Tony gave him an innocent look before he tapped his nose with his index finger. McGee sighed. He should know better by now, not to assume anything about Tony anymore.

“You’re just going to have to throw her off,” Tony told him. “Be your usual self for a while. Argue with me more, or whine or whatever it is you normally do.”

“I kind of like what we have now,” McGee whined.

“I know, but maybe we need to ease Kate into this slowly,” Tony decided. “She doesn’t like change.”

McGee sighed. “OK. But we should still get her for making this so difficult.”

Tony gave him a grin. “Why? What do you have in mind?”

“You can flirt with anyone, right?”

Tony shrugged. “I would have thought you know the real answer to that by now, Probie-san.”

“I want you to flirt with her so she’ll buy you our next drink. And she’ll get you a hot chocolate the way you like it. Even though she gave me a hard time for it this morning.”

“Hmm,” Tony pursed his lips as he thought before he nodded. “Fair enough. She owes me a drink for thinking I’d brainwash anybody. Or maybe I owe her a drink for giving me that kind of power over people. Nope! You’re right. Let’s make her buy us a drink.”

McGee snickered at that and went back to his desk. He watched as Tony sat quietly for a moment, thinking through his strategy. Then he scrabbled around in a bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of wire framed glasses. He carefully polished them, then rubbed his eyes until they were red and a little swollen, and put the glasses on. He mussed his hair up a little, and gave McGee a coy grin before he stood and rummaged through his cabinets, looking for something else. He found a comfortable looking gray turtleneck and pulled it on. Then he pointed to McGee’s tissue box and fluttered his fingers in a “gimme” kind of way.

McGee sighed and threw him the box. Tony caught it and blew his nose loudly on a tissue. He continued to blow his nose until it looked a little red to match his slightly reddened eyes. The used tissues he carelessly tossed into his trash can ensuring that one of them missed and was on the floor by the container.

When Kate returned, Tony was sitting quietly, sniffling a little. How he managed to be sniffling, McGee didn’t know, but he looked run down and exhausted when he rubbed his eyes under the glasses.

“What’s wrong with him now?” Kate asked McGee.

McGee shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” Tony interrupted them. “Shut up and get back to work so Gibbs doesn’t come down and catch us goofing off.” And somehow, he had made himself sound nasal, as if he was a little stuffed up.

Kate gave him a sharp look, and she and McGee exchanged a puzzled look. McGee was able to give her a genuine look of puzzlement because he wasn’t exactly sure where Tony was going with this. Tony ignored them both, sniffled a little as he kept on working, eyes trained on his computer screen.

They quietly did their paperwork and looked at cold case files for another half an hour or so, the only sounds the tapping of keyboards, papers being flipped over, and every so often a quiet sniffle from Tony. He blew his nose once, as quietly as he could, which made Kate’s head whip up to see what Tony was trying to do quietly and hide from her. He tossed the used tissue into his trash without even looking. Of course, this time he made the shot, McGee wanted to roll his eyes. The consummate athlete, Tony would of course make that shot when he knew that Kate was watching. But Kate’s eyes were drawn to the crumpled tissue lying by his can, the one that hadn’t made it in. And McGee could see her starting to wonder, just how many tissues were in there that Tony had been trying to hide from them?

Holy cow. Tony was a genius at this! He’d managed to make Kate wonder about his health without even saying a word to imply that he was in any way shape or form, in anything but the pink of health. McGee wanted to shake his head with admiration, but of course, he kept his cool and just eyed his teammates quietly.

“Are you sick?” Kate demanded, breaking the silence, and McGee watched as Tony seemed to visibly jump, startled. He absently rubbed the side of his face, right by his ear, as if it was annoying him, the way ears itched if one were congested.

“No,” he bit off shortly.

Kate stared at him and he glared back at her. McGee watched as he made Kate back down before he turned his eyes down somewhat slowly, somehow utilizing those long lashes of his, even behind those glasses, and then he sniffed once. Loudly. It sounded wet and snot filled. How the hell had he made himself be congested on cue?

“Oh for crying out loud!” Kate stood and flounced over to him. “You’re sick!”

“No, I’m not,” he insisted, refusing to look up at Kate.

“You’re wearing that ratty turtleneck which you only wear if you’re feeling a little under the weather,” Kate accused.

“This is a Dolce & Gabbana turtleneck and it is in no way ratty,” Tony gave her a dirty look before he cleared his throat softly.

The soft throat clearing? A masterpiece. McGee couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. He kept his eyes peeled on his teammates.

“I won’t even tell you how much this puppy cost,” Tony said haughtily, picking imaginary lint from his sweater.

“Did you stay up late and go out partying last night instead of staying home and catching up on sleep like McGee and I did?” Kate continued.

McGee tried not to bristle at Kate’s assumption that he had gone straight home and slept because he had had nothing better to do. He had gone out and hung out with his friends, talking about the girl he had picked up and gone home with on Friday night. Thank you very much, Kate. It was after _that_ , he had gone home and caught up on his sleep.

“I’m fine,” Tony insisted, not answering her question.

“Why are you wearing glasses? I thought you don’t wear glasses? What happened to your supposed 20/10 vision?”

Tony shrugged, ignoring her.

“Tony!”

“What?”

In a quick move, Kate’s hand shot out and she clamped her palm on his forehead to take his temperature. Tony flinched away, pushing his chair back so he could escape Kate’s hand.

“What the hell are you doing?” he was outraged.

“You _are_ sick!” Kate exclaimed. “You feel really hot, Tony!”

“Thank you for noticing,” Tony gave her a leer and a grin that tried hard to be saucy but fell slightly on the trying too hard side. As if Tony was trying to hide whatever illness it was he was hiding.

“Don’t be such a pig. You’ve caught something.”

“I’m fine,” and here McGee watched as Tony masterfully denied his illness, but then cleared his throat again, as if it was scratchy. He stifled a sigh, looking for the world as if he were trying to hide his discomfort from Kate, pulled the glasses off, and tiredly rubbed his eyes again. When he was done he put the glasses back on, and McGee saw how Tony was slowly starting to blush from the scrutinizing look from Kate. And the look in his eyes. His eyes somehow made him look sad, exhausted, brave, yet slightly helpless. McGee was filled with admiration. Kate could not resist a man who put on a brave front and that was exactly what Tony was giving her.

More gently now, Kate carefully put her palm on Tony’s forehead again and this time he didn’t fight it. He reluctantly submitted to it, eyes downcast. McGee had to suppress the urge to stand and applaud Tony.

“Shit, Tony,” Kate was suddenly all concerned. “You’re burning up.”

“I’m fine,” Tony tried to brush it away, bravely denying it. “It’s nothing new. Just a cold or something. Or allergies. I don’t know. Doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters,” Kate lectured him.

He shrugged wordlessly.

“Gibbs has been working you too hard,” Kate grumbled.

“He always works us too hard. I’m fine. Don’t fuss,” Tony turned back to his computer screen and began tapping away, clearing his throat as if it were bothering him.

“I know what will help,” Kate stomped back to her desk and grabbed her purse, badge and gun. “I’ll be back.”

McGee watched, eyes wide with excitement, waiting for Kate to disappear into the elevator.

“Oh my god!” he hissed. “She’s going to do it! She’s actually going to buy you a hot chocolate! The true test will be if she remembers the things you like in them and asks for them!”

Tony gave him a sly look and sniffled once, but said nothing, staying mostly in character. When Kate returned, she brought him a hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and mini marshmallows. Tony croaked a grateful thank you to her, and McGee watched as Kate hesitantly petted Tony’s hair in a tender gesture before she plopped a coffee cup in front of McGee and then went back to her desk.

McGee couldn’t help but gawk at Kate then. After the tongue lashing she had put him through, here she was, waltzing in with a cup of hot chocolate in exactly the way that Tony liked his! Kate glared at him to stop him from saying anything, although she flushed a little with guilt. But she gave Tony a significant look, silently telling him to hold in his words. McGee shook his head, rolled his eyes, and drank his coffee in silence. After a few minutes, he chanced a look at Tony. The senior agent was also glancing at him at the same time.

Tony gave him a slow wink, hiding it from Kate with his cup. McGee hid the giggle that bubbled out of him by turning it into a cough. When Kate looked up suspiciously at them, Tony was busily working at his computer, sniffling a little, while McGee’s fake cough had accidentally turned into a real cough when the coffee he was sipping went down the wrong way. Kate sighed and turned back to the cold case file in her hands, shaking her head, no doubt lamenting the idiots that she had surrounded herself with.

Tony sucked it up when Gibbs returned from MTAC and although he still sounded a little stuffy, he had immediately lost the glasses and the turtleneck. After lunch, Kate and McGee found themselves in the elevator together again, she told him how sympathetic she was with how Tony didn’t want to appear weak or sick in front of Gibbs. She did that in front of Gibbs herself. But she felt that Tony could let himself go a little in front of them. That she and McGee would totally understand. Wouldn’t they?

McGee nodded, agreeing with her. What the hell else could he do at this point?

After work, he, Abby and Tony went out for drinks, as had now become their habit. McGee was making Abby laugh, gleefully recounting how Tony had managed to get Kate to buy him and McGee both a drink by his absolutely masterful and deceitful flirtation. Tony sat quietly, listening to the story, and not once correcting McGee or jumping in to add any nuances that McGee might have missed, or even to gloat at being able to pull one on Kate. When McGee was done, Tony looked at them both very seriously.

“You know that we can’t pull shit like that on Kate all the time, right?” his tone was gentle.

“She kind of deserves it sometimes,” Abby wrinkled her nose. “Remember the way she looked at me on our first case together? She can be so judgmental sometimes.”

“But you’re friends with her now, Abs,” Tony pointed out.

Abby pouted. “Yeah, but she still hasn’t bothered to look past your masks, the way she’s looked past my tatts and my clothes.”

“Not everyone can see everything all the time, Abs,” Tony said gently.

McGee blushed, realizing that he hadn’t actually seen past Tony’s masks as Abby had dragged them down for him to see within.

“She’s a profiler,” Abby insisted.

“Abs,” Tony’s rebuke was gentle, but Abby still pouted.

“I get your point though,” McGee had to agree with Tony. “You’re way too good at what you do for anyone to just see through it.”

“Thank you, McGee. See, Abs?” Tony smiled.

Abby pouted. “McGee! You’re supposed to side with me!”

“Haven’t you heard?” Tony joked. “I’ve brainwashed him.”

The three snickered at that.

“But seriously though, Tony, is there a logical reason why you very rarely, if ever, let her see this side of you?” McGee wanted to know.

Tony sighed. “Yes,” he nodded.

McGee waited expectantly, but Tony didn’t elaborate. “Are you going to tell me what it is?” he asked.

Tony shook his head. “I think not.”

“Why not?” McGee whined. “Abssss… Do you know this super secret reason that Tony won’t just be more himself around Kate?”

Abby gave Tony a guilty look. “Noooo?” she said, drawing out the vowel, and making it more a question than an answer.

“Abby!!” McGee pouted. “You know!”

Abby turned to Tony, eyes wide. “Maybe you should just tell him.”

Tony threw up his hands. “It doesn’t paint her in a very good light,” he muttered. “It’s not fair to her. She’s not here to defend herself.”

“I don’t understand why that matters at this point,” McGee argued.

They stared at each other a long moment, this time McGee refusing to back down. Finally Tony blew out a long, drawn out, breath and rolled his eyes.

“She has a history of workplace romances,” he grumbled.

“The case where we met Kate?” Abby picked up the story. “You know it, McGee?”

“Air Force One. Kate left the Secret Service for NCIS,” McGee supplied.

“That’s not quite the whole story,” Abby raised an eyebrow. “Kate was sleeping with one of the dead ball carriers.”

“ _What? Kate?_ ” McGee was shocked. “Our Kate? Sleeping with a co-worker who ended up dead? No!”

Abby and Tony both nodded, both with lips pursed.

“Well, you can’t just immediately say she’s going to sleep with another co-worker,” McGee shook his head. “Maybe it was a one off.”

“The Secret Service is a predominantly male dominated profession,” Tony cited. “And she falls into the spectrum of squarely scared of being anything but heterosexual. So she will only ever entertain the thoughts of a relationship with a man, regardless of whether she might or might not ever be attracted to woman. So. Chances of her meeting some guy to have a relationship with outside of work is slim to none while she was with the Secret Service. So yeah, she slept with a co-worker. Someone who she shouldn’t have slept with or had a relationship with.”

“NCIS is not that different really,” Abby chimed in. “It’s still predominantly an all boys club, especially for field agents.”

McGee shrugged. “Doesn’t mean that Kate would be attracted to any of us, just because she works with us.” It seemed unreasonable to expect Kate to want to sleep with him, most certainly, but Gibbs or Tony? Surely not!

“I don’t know,” Abby said thoughtfully. “She can get awfully flirtatious with Gibbs, have you noticed?”

Tony’s face darkened. “Oh yeah,” he agreed. McGee wondered what was behind that dark expression but the immediate question was about Kate and Gibbs.

“Kate? Flirts with the boss?” McGee gawked at them.

The pair nodded at her.

“When??” he wanted to know.

“Just keep your eyes open,” Abby advised him.

“Next time Gibbs acts somewhat human, or says something funny, you watch how she acts,” Tony said darkly.

“Oh-kayyyy… but what does it have to do with what happens if Kate sees what a nice guy Tony is?” McGee was confused by all this new information.

“Can you imagine? Not that the Bossman isn’t one hell of a hottie and a silver fox, but if our Tony here showed her what an absolute sweetheart he really is…” Abby shook her head.

“Shut up!” Tony kicked her legs under the table. Wisely, McGee had learned not to sit in between the two of them to spare his legs the brunt of the bruises when the two started kicking each other. “I am _not_ a sweetheart.”

“Of course you are, my love,” Abby kissed his cheek, ignoring the kick. “But can you imagine, if Tony here, young, hot, sexy, and incredibly sweet, if this is what Kate saw? She’d be all over him like white on rice.”

Tony made a moue of discontent. “I’m still not sweet. And _ewwww_ , I don’t want that image of Kate and me,” he shuddered. “She’s pretty and what all, but she really gives me the sister vibe. There is no way I would consider hitting that. Besides, you know Gibbs and Rule 12. I am not going to break that rule, and certainly not with Kate.”

McGee flushed at the thought of Rule 12 because technically he had broken it. With Abby. “Well… Gibbs forgave me for breaking Rule 12,” he gave Abby a guilty look.

“Technically he forgave _Abby_. You? I’m not sure he’s let you off the hook yet,” Tony arched an eyebrow mischievously at him.

“That’s right,” Abby agreed. “He forgave me because I’m his favorite!”

Tony leaned over and kissed Abby’s cheek. “You’re definitely Gibbs’ favorite, Abs,” he agreed.

“Shit, should I worry that Gibbs is going to like, punish me somehow, if he hasn’t forgiven me about breaking Rule 12?” McGee was suddenly filled with fear.

“I think that if we remain as close friends as we have been, you’ll be fine,” Abby reassured him.

“Or not!” Tony winked naughtily. “I guess we’ll find out!”

“Don’t tease him about this!” Abby elbowed Tony, making him laugh. “You’re fine, McGee.”

“My original point still stands though. It’s unethical for me to mess around with all of your emotions for no reason,” Tony tossed out as he leaned back and sighed. “Kate doesn’t need to know jack. It’s better for everyone involved if we maintain the status quo at work.” And then Tony sneezed, which seemed to catch him by surprise. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket – jesus, who even carried handkerchiefs around in this day and age, McGee wondered – and began blowing his nose loudly.

“Shit, Tony. Don’t tell me you’re actually sick!” McGee exclaimed.

“Just a sniffle,” Tony sniffed before he blew his nose again. “Not worth mentioning.”

Abby felt his forehead and sighed. “You want a cup of tea or something? Or hot chocolate?”

Tony nodded, before he turned back to McGee. “OK, McGee? We can’t change things at work. Kate doesn’t like change, and Gibbs definitely doesn’t like change. So for the love of god, just act normal. OK?”

“But I like this version of you much more than I like the Tony that superglues me to shit!” McGee pouted.

“I’m still the same guy who superglued you to shit, McGeek,” Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “And I’ll continue to be that guy when you need that kind of treatment. Or… when you least expect it. Because it is absolutely and utterly fun to get you. Your expressions are seriously, priceless, my little Probie. You’re so Probilicious!”

McGee stuck his tongue back out at Tony and without thinking about it, kicked Tony’s leg under the table.

“Did you just kick me?” Tony demanded.

“Oh… now you’ve done it!” Abby declared. “I’m going to get the next round before I get sucked into this. Don’t leave permanent marks, boys!”

Tony and McGee ended up in an epic under the table leg-kicking battle until Abby returned with their next round of drinks, including a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey for Tony, who apparently hadn’t had to concoct a cold but instead had instead chosen to show that he’d had one, just a little bit, to attract Kate’s attention.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More kudos to Red_Pink_Dots for her lovely artwork! :D

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

But now that they had talked about how Kate apparently flirted with Gibbs, McGee had to see it for himself. Over the next few days, McGee kept observing Kate in her interactions with Gibbs. One time, Gibbs sided with her with in an argument that she was having with Tony, and gave that little tiny quirk of an almost grin that he sometimes did, with a witty quip that shut Tony up right quick. And Kate blushed. She actually blushed, the smattering of freckles on her nose and cheek darkening as she blushed, and she even simpered a little bit. Which did kind of give credence to Tony and Abby’s theory that Kate was someone who could end up in a relationship with a co-worker again, and that her previous one with the dead ball carrier on Air Force One had not been just a one time exception. It was surprising to McGee how much Kate flirted with Gibbs, and he wondered if she was even conscious of the fact that she was doing it.

But what he also began to notice was how Tony reacted to Kate flirting with Gibbs – when she had that slight blush in her cheek, the downturned eyes, the flutter of her dark eyelashes, the halfway parted lips, Tony scowled for a short split second. He scowled as if Kate were his worst enemy, before he wiped the expression off his face and affected his usual saucy grin for Gibbs.

Interesting, McGee thought. This was an interesting dynamic. If he had read this right, then Tony was _jealous_ of the attention that Gibbs paid Kate. He wondered if it was just a matter of Tony wanting all of Gibbs’ attention for himself and he was jealous of anyone else who might take it away from him. He had a weird, bordering almost on the obsessive, possessive behavior towards Gibbs anyway. So McGee observed how Tony reacted when Gibbs hugged and kissed Abby, which was something the team lead did on a daily basis. Abby was obviously his favorite, she was not wrong when she made that claim.

But Tony was completely and utterly cool about that, no microsecond of that dark scowl on his face. Hell, Tony seemed to _expect_ Gibbs to reward Abby with hugs and kisses and caf pows. Tony himself did exactly the same things to her, especially if Gibbs wasn’t there to do it, to ensure that Abby would constantly feel the love from Gibbs and his team. So, McGee had to conclude that Tony was not jealous of the interactions between Gibbs and Abby. Maybe it was just the members of his team that he begrudged Gibbs’ attention? So he would be upset if Gibbs were to praise McGee instead of him, for instance. That was McGee’s next hypothesis.

And when, on one of their next cases, McGee found a lead after tediously going through lines and lines of computer codes of programming for financial transactions, Gibbs rewarded him with an “Atta boy,” which for Gibbs was the equivalent of an enthusiastic hug and violent back slapping in congratulations, McGee immediately looked to Tony, feeling guilty that he was hogging the attention that his Senior Field Agent obviously wanted for himself. But even though Tony pretended to be annoyed at McGee, the younger man could see that Tony was in fact, quite proud of his Probie and was the one to brag about McGee’s discovery to Abby when they went out for drinks that evening. McGee could clearly tell that Tony was not at all jealous of the attention that Gibbs gave to McGee.

So. McGee concluded that Tony was only jealous of Kate when Gibbs paid attention to her instead of to him. But he didn’t give a hoot about Gibbs giving attention to Abby or McGee. Or at least he harbored no jealousy when Gibbs paid McGee and Abby attention. Which brought up the next logical question: why was Tony only jealous of Kate?

McGee continued to keep his eyes peeled – Tony was teaching him to observe and analyze people, after all, so he was only practicing what he had learned on the people around him. And what McGee noticed was that Kate flirted with Gibbs, with her eyes, and her body, subtle little bits of body language, more than he had originally realized. Certainly more than he would have ever noticed, had Tony not been giving him pointers practically every night that they were out for drinks with Abby, on what he could read about people while sitting and watching them from afar. So McGee had become much more sensitive towards body language lately. He was fairly sure at this point that most of the time, Kate had no idea she was doing some of the things she was doing. It had to be instinct. She was reacting to Gibbs because she was attracted to him. Which shouldn’t surprise McGee. After all, even he could see that Gibbs was an attractive man. His hair might be more salt than pepper, but his eyes were distinctive, and he had good facial bone structure and symmetry in his face, and he was, if McGee said so, quite handsome. He certainly carried himself well, given the fact that he was a marine (and a good one at that). But mostly, the way it seemed to go, Kate seemed to react with that slight flush and the involuntarily coquettish eye movements when Gibbs threw his weight around, barking out orders forcefully. She was attracted to the mantle of power that Gibbs wore so easily. And every time that Kate reacted flirtatiously, consciously or unconsciously, towards Gibbs, there was that microsecond of a dark scowl on Tony’s face before he managed to control his own involuntary reactions towards Kate’s flirting.

And then McGee started watching Tony instead of Kate to see if he could spot this same expression on Tony at other times, or if it was reserved only for when Kate was flirting with Gibbs. As it turned out, it was quite rare. Sometimes, if there was an attractive redhead in the vicinity who was attempting to flirt with Gibbs, then Tony would have that momentary dark scowl flitting by on his face. And definitely when Kate flirted with Gibbs, Tony would be displeased. But practically all of the other interactions that Gibbs had with other people did not elicit that scowl out of Tony. The only thing that McGee could deduce was that Tony was only jealous of the people that he thought Gibbs might at all have any kind of romantic interest in, or someone that Gibbs might have flirted back in some way. Which meant that he thought that Gibbs could be attracted to Kate, but not to Abby and not to McGee (not that McGee would expect Gibbs to at all be interested in himself, for gods sakes, the man was a marine and a sniper and a veritable legend and he, McGee, was a stuttering fool of a newbie field agent). And Abby was a surrogate daughter to Gibbs, so Tony was in no way jealous of that relationship.

So. Was Tony jealous of the people that could remotely have a chance to have a romantic relationship with Gibbs? What the hell did that even mean?

And then, even more disturbingly, McGee started noticing Tony’s subtle and involuntary flirtations with Gibbs. The way he might turn his eyes downwards with a sweep of those ridiculous long lashes, or sometimes the slight blush that darkened his cheeks as he turned away from Gibbs. And since McGee had been hanging out with Tony and had seen how he acted ‘in the wild’, during their excursions to the bars they had gone out to, and more importantly, McGee had seen how Tony acted when faced with a man that he was attracted to – all shy and adorably, coquettishly flirtatious – he realized that what he was seeing was a very toned down iteration of that behavior. One that Tony was trying hard to tamp down and contain. And for the most part he really was successful at hiding his attraction to Gibbs. But since McGee was now in the in club with Tony and knew him so much better, he couldn’t help but see it. 

He saw it especially clearly once, after Tony threw himself into a hail of bullets despite not wearing Kevlar. It had been a routine knock on a neighbor’s door to talk about a completely unrelated nearby crime, and McGee and he had been partnered together for the task. When the bullets started flying without warning, Tony rolled right towards them to pull a small child out of the way and to hide them behind furniture that was definitely not bullet proof. Gibbs and Kate came running as soon as they heard the shots, but Tony ended up covering the child with his own body, flinching with every gun shot, keeping his head down and the child completely protected, until Gibbs, Kate and yes, even McGee had worked together and were able to contain the gunman with the automatic weapon.

“Clear! _DiNozzo!_ ” Gibbs yelled. “You OK?”

“Yeah, Boss!” Tony croaked, before he sat up and examined the child, who was miraculously completely unharmed. “Kid’s OK, too.”

A bullet had grazed Tony’s bicep, and McGee pointed it out when Tony and the trembling child came out from behind the couch.

“It’s nothing,” Tony brushed it away. Gibbs took charge of the child and handed him over to the EMTs when they came by. Child Services had been called. Technically, this was not NCIS’s jurisdiction. They had only been going door to door to talk to the neighbors of a marine who had been murdered in his living room. This was apparently completely unrelated. The gunman had been cooking meth in his basement, and the child was his son. He had been paranoid about his own illegal activities, and became spooked when Federal Agents came knocking on his door. He’d started opening fire without warning or thought, not even taking into account that his own son was in the line of fire. He had apparently been sampling his own wares as he cooked it. Regardless, it was not NCIS’s investigation. They gave their statements and then handed everything off to DC Metro.

McGee kept fussing with Tony’s arm. Tony had allowed the EMTs to take a look at it after Gibbs had glared him into submission, and it really wasn’t a big deal. McGee had stayed with him while the wound was cleaned and butterfly strips administered. But even though McGee knew that Tony was fine and it was only a tiny graze, the incident had shaken him. They had just been knocking on doors to talk to the neighbors, not expecting any action. And Tony had dived and rolled and taken the kid out of the way of all the bullets, and McGee had had to call out to Gibbs and Kate who were next door, for backup. But in the meantime, Tony had dived _into_ the hail of bullets to save a child. And graze or not, Tony had actually been shot. And even though they had had been in other tough spots, other gunfights, other close calls, it was the first time that Tony, who was now McGee’s friend Tony had been shot. Tony had actually been shot with a real gun that was firing real bullets. That he had only been grazed in the upper arm was a miracle. He could have been killed, doing what he had done to get the little kid out of harm’s way.

They were still inside the ambulance when McGee found himself trembling uncontrollably, and part of him knew that he was in shock, but he couldn’t seem to stop his reactions. Tony ended up putting his arm around the younger man and speaking to him reassuringly. McGee clung to him, wordlessly nodding every time Tony asked him a question, even though he had no idea what Tony was saying. Blood was pounding in his ears and he couldn’t actually hear Tony’s words, but he could hear the calming tone of voice, and he could feel Tony’s heart beating strongly in his chest when Tony pulled him into a comforting hug, which helped him regain control. Finally McGee was able to pull away, and was only tremoring slightly. Tony smiled at him, pulled him close, and kissed his temple, continuing to reassure him that he was fine. When they both walked away from the EMTs, Kate pounced upon Tony and made sure that he was OK before she smacked his other, uninjured arm and yelled at him to take better care of himself and not just throw himself into gunfire without a bulletproof vest. But she also gripped his hand tightly. Tony had scared them all with what had happened that night.

And when everything and everyone was calm again, and DC Metro had taken over the meth lab crime scene, they went right back to what they had been doing. A marine had been murdered five doors down, and they were still in the middle of knocking on doors and interviewing neighbors. They still had a job to do. This time, though, Gibbs kept all four of them together, instead of having them separate out to talk to the neighbors, two to a door. That was how McGee knew that Gibbs hadn’t been unaffected by what had happened at the meth lab.

Finally, after Ducky and Palmer had taken away the body, and they were done interviewing the neighbors, they all piled into the car. Someone from another team, McGee was still too freaked out to figure out who it was, had backed them up, after the incident, and was driving the van back to the Yard for them, so the MCRT were able to stay together on their drive back. Something the team apparently needed to do to reassure themselves that Tony was, in fact, all right. When they arrived back at the bullpen, Gibbs disappeared to get coffee, or whatever it was that he did when he went away, and McGee and Kate immediately converged at Tony’s desk, concerned about him.

“’Tis but a scratch,” Tony waved them away.

“You were shot, Tony!” Kate told him.

“I know. I was there, too,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“That was so brave of you,” Kate continued. “You saved that little boy’s life! And you got hurt!”

“Just a flesh wound. I’ve had worse,” Tony grinned at them.

“You can’t just Monty Python your way out of this,” McGee told him quietly.

Tony gave him a real smile then. “Look at you! Catching my movie references!”

“Everyone knows that one,” McGee scoffed.

“Well, the next time my heart stops, and you guys do CPR and I’m resuscitated, I’ll have to remember to say ‘I’m not dead yet’ and ‘I got better’,” Tony approximated the accent from the show, and McGee couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wait, wait,” Kate frowned at him. “What do you mean ‘the next time’ your heart stops? Was there a previous time?”

Tony gave them a naughty wink which made Kate smack his non-bandaged arm again. Hard. Tony’s whimper of pain was not feigned.

“You better not go around needing CPR,” Kate muttered angrily. And then she surprised them all by pulling Tony into a tight hug, releasing him almost violently, and stalking back to her desk.

Tony stared at her, open mouthed, and then turned to McGee, wide eyed, silently asking him if he saw what Kate had done. McGee nodded silently. Yes. He had seen it, too. It was most likely not a shared visual hallucination. Most likely.

And then Gibbs came sneaking back, and smacked the back of Tony’s head.

“Ouch!” Tony yelped.

And McGee was close enough to see Tony’s pupils dilate, and a faint blush rise in his cheek. Tony masked it with a pained grimace, but now that McGee had seen it, he couldn’t unsee it. Holy shit! Tony _enjoyed_ the head slaps that Gibbs doled out to him! The head slaps aroused him. No wonder the man seemed to try to do things to earn himself a head slap if that was what they did to him. But even worse, since McGee had front row seats to this particular show, and he saw how Tony closed his eyes, and a fleeting expression of what looked to be emotional pain went through him, disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

McGee hastily returned to his desk, not wanting to get in the middle of this, and sat and stared at Gibbs and Tony.

“Don’t you _ever_ endanger yourself so recklessly again,” Gibbs growled at him.

“I’m fine, Boss,” Tony responded, the blush heightening in his cheek.

And then, even though Tony flinched, expecting another head slap, Gibbs gently patted the back of his head. “Atta boy, Tony,” he said softly, before he patted Tony’s cheek in a casual gesture, and walked to his desk.

The minute Gibbs’ back was turned, McGee could see Tony swallow with difficulty, the blush deepening, and he closed his eyes for a split second, and again McGee saw pain. Raw, hopeless, desolate pain. And then Tony opened his eyes, and they were bright and sparkling naughtily as he winked at McGee. Tony was back. But McGee had seen it. Seen that expression in Tony’s eyes, and he knew what it was he had seen.

Tony was in love with Gibbs.

Tony DiNozzo, frat boy extraordinaire, secretly a nice guy and a sweetheart, was in love with his team lead. Hopelessly, deeply in love with him, if McGee had read that expression correctly. And not in that fun, flirtatious way that Tony seemed to fall in and out of love with the different women that he dated. This was much more serious. This looked to be a forever kind of love.

McGee’s heart started pounding. It was no wonder then that Tony was so jealous of anyone, including Kate, who Gibbs even partially flirted with. Because Tony was in love with the Boss. And all of a sudden, all the pieces fell together. Why Tony wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, only fun, casual, no strings attached trysts. And the men that Abby had pointed out as Tony’s type – blue eyed, blue collar men who worked with their hands and were no nonsense. Hell, Samuel, who Tony had actually gone out with (and gone home with and had some fulfilling sex with, if McGee had to guess) could totally have been Gibbs’ brother or cousin or something. _Gibbs_ was Tony’s type. And all the guys that he dated were obviously substitutes for Gibbs, which was why he didn’t want to have a relationship with any of them. Because he knew he couldn’t give them what they would be looking for. Tony couldn’t give his heart to any of those men he was so desperately attracted to because he had already given his heart to Gibbs. This revelation was too much for McGee to bear on his own.

McGee stood up all of a sudden, his chair wheeling backwards and crashing loudly into the cabinets behind his desk in his cube, and Gibbs stared at him.

“What?” Gibbs barked at him.

“N-nothing, Boss,” McGee stuttered. “I promised Abby a caf pow and…”

Gibbs jerked his head in the direction of the elevator and McGee scampered away without looking at Tony or Kate.

“What the hell got into him?” he heard Gibbs ask.

“He took it hard when Tony got shot,” Kate sounded apologetic.

And then the elevator arrived and McGee heard no more of their conversation. Thankfully, he found Abby alone in her lab. He took her hand and dragged her into her inner office and shut the door firmly. Abby turned her music down, giving him concerned looks.

“You OK, Timmy?” she asked.

“Oh my god,” he stumbled into a chair.

“Kate said you were kind of upset after Tony got shot.”

“Oh my god, Abby! Oh. My. God.” McGee knew he was breathing hard, and his heart was pounding.

“Tony’s OK, Tim,” Abby said soothingly. “He made sure to call me to let me know he was fine. Just a graze. Barely anything to worry about. I even talked to Ducky about it to make sure Tony wasn’t just trying to minimize things like he does when things are serious.”

But McGee was getting close to hyperventilating. Abby knelt by him and rubbed his back, trying to help him to calm down. “Should I get Ducky?” she asked, concerned.

McGee shook his head. “Abby,” he whispered urgently. “Tony’s in love with Gibbs!”

Abby’s eyes widened. “Why would you _say_ that? I didn’t tell you that. Nuh-uh.”

“Abby!” he hissed, grasping her hand and shaking it hard. “You already knew this?”

Abby shook her head, trying to deny it, even though her eyes told him the truth. That she did know about Tony’s feelings for Gibbs.

“ _Abby!_ ” McGee yelled.

“I’m not allowed to talk about this!” Abby hissed back. “I promised him!”

“Who? Tony?”

“Who else?” Abby rolled her eyes.

“Oh my god, Abby! Tony’s in love with Gibbs!” McGee gritted out in a harsh whisper.

“I didn’t tell you anything. It wasn’t me!” Abby somehow managed to shriek at him, even though she was whispering.

“Well, _you_ didn’t tell me a thing. I figured it out for myself,” McGee whispered back. For some reason, even though they were in Abby’s inner office and the door was shut, they were both whispering back and forth.

Abby looked at him, guilt in her eyes. “How did you figure it out?” she asked in a hushed whisper.

McGee shrugged. “I saw it in his face,” he finally admitted. For some reason, telling Abby that he saw Tony’s reaction to Gibbs after the headslap felt somehow like a betrayal and even to Abby, he didn’t want to say the words out loud.

“What did Gibbs do to him?” Abby asked.

McGee shrugged, trying to be noncommittal.

“McGee, you can’t come to me and drop this bomb and then not tell me how you figured this out!”

“It wouldn’t be right,” McGee whined.

Abby sighed. She pulled a chair over and sat on it, pulling McGee close, his chair wheeling smoothly towards her. “Maybe this one time, we can dispense with Gibbs’ Rule 13, and maybe talk a little like a lawyer. Let’s talk hypotheticals, because I promised Tony I would never ever tell anyone this secret.”

“Well, you still haven’t told anyone,” McGee said staunchly.

Abby smiled at his support. “But this is big.”

McGee nodded.

“Too big for either of us to sit by and pretend that neither of us knows what we know.”

McGee nodded vehemently.

“Hypothetically speaking then?” Abby asked again.

McGee nodded.

“OK,” she blew out a breath. “Hypothetically, did Gibbs maybe touch Tony? Maybe initiate some kind of physical contact, and that’s when you saw his face and figured it out?”

“Hypothetically speaking, that is a distinct possibility,” McGee nodded.

“Was this physical contact, hypothetically speaking, contact in the area of his head? The back of it, perhaps?”

McGee sighed and reluctantly nodded. “Hypothetically speaking, of course,” he added as a caveat.

“Oh, Tony,” Abby finished sadly.

McGee nodded and rubbed his face. “Hypothetically speaking, do you know how long he could have been feeling this way about out esteemed leader?” he asked.

Abby sighed and gave him a sad look.

“From the very beginning?” McGee guessed.

“Pretty much,” Abby nodded, her expression wry. “Hypothetically speaking, of course,” she added.

“Of course.”

McGee bit his lips and stared at Abby. “And is the Boss unaware of Tony’s alleged hypothetical feelings for him?”

“That is a very good question to which I don’t have an answer.” Apparently speaking in hypotheticals brought the fancy out in Abby’s speech patterns.

They stared at each other for a long time.

“He’s not the guy who broke Tony’s heart is he?” McGee’s eyes widened at this sudden thought.

Abby shook her head vehemently. “Oh, no no no no. Not the Bossman.”

“Why doesn’t he do something about it? Take action? I mean, he’s not the wilting wallflower kind! He’s Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo!” McGee whisper yelled.

“It all boils down to the fact that neither he nor I can get a read on how the hypothetical love of his life might feel about any of this. Or feel about him,” she said glumly.

“Well, he’s kept him on for years now, so surely he must like him. At least a little bit.”

“Yeah, but does Gibbs _like_ like him the way Tony _like_ likes him? Or does Gibbs like _like_ him the way he likes me, like a surrogate child? Or does he just like him like a friend?” Abby chewed on her bottom lip. “I keep trying to watch the Bossman but I still can’t figure it out.”

“He was pretty upset when Tony got kidnapped by that chick and taken down the sewers,” McGee volunteered. “You know. For him, anyways.”

“Yeah, but was he upset like he would get upset if any of his team was taken, or was he upset like someone he can’t live without got taken?” Abby threw up her hands.

“Oh,” McGee thought back to that case. “I have no idea. I didn’t really know anyone that well at the time, anyway. All I know is that Gibbs did everything to get Tony back safely but I honestly can’t tell you if there was more to it than just you know, a missing teammate or friend sort of feeling.”

“Exactly,” Abby agreed. “I’ve been trying to figure him out for years, with regard to our mutual friend. And I haven’t been able to come up with anything conclusive.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

“Poor Tony.”

“Yeah,” Abby sounded incredibly sad.

“Can’t we do something about this?”

Abby shrugged helplessly. “He won’t let me,” she sighed.

“Damn it.”

They sat and stared sadly at each other.

“And this look that you saw on his face…?”

“It made me really sad,” McGee admitted. “Is there really _nothing_ that we can do?”

Abby shook her head. “Not really.”

“I’m not giving up,” McGee said, determinedly. “Tony didn’t give up on me – not in the field, and not when it came to getting women to talk to me. So I’m not going to give up on him.”

“But you can’t let him know that you know anything about this,” Abby told him firmly. “He’ll clam up and retreat. Believe me when I tell you this.”

“Fine, fine. I won’t tell him I figured it out, but I’m going to watch every interaction that he and Gibbs have, and see if I can’t figure out what Gibbs thinks of him.”

“Good luck with that. He’s a hard man to figure out.”

“I know. But that’s about the only thing I can do, isn’t it?” McGee looked at Abby helplessly.

She nodded.

“And I’ll just keep looking out for him as best I can.”

“Yeah, OK,” Abby agreed. She sighed loudly and finally, after they had held this entire conversation in whispers, she straightened up and spoke in a normal volume. “You better get back up to the bullpen before you get in trouble.”

McGee nodded.

“Take care of our boy, McGee.”

He nodded again and gave her a grin before he left. He was definitely going to be on the lookout for evidence of Gibbs’ feelings towards Tony, whatever that might be. And he was going to somehow be Tony’s rock in the MCRT. He knew that Abby was really Tony’s rock. She was someone who knew him inside and out, and knew many of his secrets, but Tony didn’t have someone even close to that right on the team itself. So he resolved to be that guy. He might be new to the MCRT and green as field agents went, but he knew how to be a friend. And he was going to be there for Tony whether he liked it or not.

And for the next few weeks, things seemed to carry on as usual. They were assigned cases. They worked the cases. McGee proved his worth on the computer, and learned the actual field work from Tony. Now that he was open to it, he felt like he was learning a whole lot more, and taking Tony’s teasing much better. He no longer felt like Tony was picking on him just to pick on him. It seemed now that he was kind of seeing what Tony was trying to shape him into, and he wasn’t fighting it this time.

Kate continued to give him curious and worried looks, and every so often she would confront him and ask him if he was still being brainwashed by Tony. But then Tony would superglue McGee to the most inconvenient things, and McGee would yell and pout and whine while Tony cackled maniacally, until Gibbs threw him the acetone. And Kate would stop worrying about whether or not McGee was still somehow falling under Tony’s spell.

McGee watched Gibbs and Tony very closely, trying to figure out what was in Gibbs’ head every time he talked to Tony. Every time he gave the Senior Field Agent a head slap. Every time they stared at each other and exchanged one of their patented cryptic, non-verbal conversations, after which Tony would nod and bark orders at Kate and McGee, and Gibbs would sit back and watch his team work like a well-oiled machine. But in that instance of Gibbs quirking an eyebrow at Tony, and Tony’s answering eyebrow or lip quirk, or shrug, or whatever the hell it was that they did to each other to convey what seemed to be a set of complex thoughts and follow up orders, McGee had his eyes peeled, focusing on Gibbs. Tony and Gibbs had always seemed to be able to understand each other perfectly well, leaving everyone else baffled. But now, instead of watching Tony to figure Tony out, McGee was watching Gibbs as closely as he could to figure him out next.

But so far, he could report nothing much to Abby. Nothing definite, at least. Gibbs was certainly fond of Tony and he relied on the younger man for just about everything, from replacing the cell phones he routinely destroyed, to going to pick him up at home if he decided to break his own Rule #3 and be out of touch making Dispatch call Tony instead. And of course Tony seemed to magically know when Gibbs needed coffee and would make some appear out of thin air if need be to appease the man’s addiction. Gibbs relied on Tony to do a lot of the casework and paperwork, too. But Gibbs’ presence and influence over the whole team was undeniable. It wasn’t that McGee thought that Gibbs didn’t do any work. Of course he did. He worked hard, just as hard as he worked the rest of the team. Gibbs was not a hands off sort of guy. He was truly a dedicated field agent. But there were a lot of things that Gibbs didn’t enjoy about their work – like having to liaise with other law enforcement agencies, and talking to people too stupid to understand that Gibbs had no patience and would happily throttle them to shut them up. So, most of this stuff he left up to Tony. And Tony happily did whatever Gibbs delegated to him, and the team continued to run smoothly and their solve rate was, as always, sky high.

McGee knew that he was taking it too far when he and Abby secretly met for dinner, just the two of them, and they were comparing notes. For instance, maybe on that day at the crime scene, Gibbs did that thing with his lips, screwing it up a little where it made him look upset but not fully upset, certainly not upset enough to express it verbally, but this quiet displeasure only appeared when he looked at Tony. And maybe at the time Tony would have his back turned to Gibbs and appear to be doing something innocuous – like talking to a witness, or bagging and tagging, or taking measurements, or whatever it was that they usually did at a crime scene. McGee couldn’t figure out that look and why it would be directed at Tony since Tony didn’t seem to be doing anything that warranted Gibbs being upset at him at the time, but he couldn’t figure out why would Gibbs even look at Tony like that? And Abby would listen sympathetically. She would also report to him the minute details of how Gibbs and Tony interacted in the Forensics lab if McGee hadn’t been there for it, and they would sit and dissect their teammates’ actions and words, and try to figure out the extent of Gibbs’ feelings for Tony.

But even though McGee knew that he and Abby were becoming obsessed about this, and he knew that he was eyeing Gibbs enough now that the man was glaring back at him, making him turn away and blush and stammer some excuse or other, he knew that he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to know. He needed to find out so he and Abby could somehow either a) get Gibbs and Tony together if Gibbs felt the same way towards Tony that Tony felt towards Gibbs, or b) if they could get confirmation that Gibbs only thought of Tony as a friend, then they could go ahead and encourage him to try to get over the man. Maybe if Tony could know for certain whether he had a chance with Gibbs, or if he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell, then maybe Tony could move on. Maybe Tony could stop swallowing his feelings, and internalizing all his love, and put himself through all that pain, he could finally move on. And maybe he could give some other guy like that nice guy Samuel a proper chance. He deserved to be able to give himself a real chance at happiness and love again. It was the fact that Tony seemed trapped in this no man’s land that was upsetting to him and to Abby.

And whenever Gibbs slapped the back of Tony’s head, or patted him on the back or the face, or yanked him around, or whatever physical contact that he might have initiated, then McGee couldn’t help but keep seeing that flash of love and sadness and pain go through Tony. And this would always make McGee redouble his efforts at trying to figure Gibbs out. Because he couldn’t keep seeing Tony in pain and so sad, and so hopelessly in love with a man who was a complete mystery to them all.

It was uncertain how long that things would have continued in this way. But as it turned out, things came to a head a lot sooner than McGee anticipated. And in a way that McGee could not have anticipated in his wildest dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

It was really late and the squad room was practically empty. Gibbs, Kate, Tony and McGee were sitting at their desks working on finishing the reports for their last case. They had solved this one after five days of non-stop work. They had mostly taken cat naps by their desks and drank copious amounts of coffee to keep going. Even Tony had made an exception to his normal habits and was drinking lots of nauseatingly sweet, sugary, hazelnutty coffee, which Gibbs openly sneered at. At this point, McGee was looking forward to going home and sleeping for a long time, and then maybe to try to have lunch with Kiera, who he had ended up really hitting it off with. They had gone out quite a few times, and McGee had even introduced Kiera officially to Tony and Abby, asking her to dinner to meet his friends. Everyone seemed to get along, and McGee felt like he had finally hit the jackpot with where he was in his life. He was happy at work, learning a lot about how to be a field agent, and he had great friends, and now he might have a really awesome girlfriend. That Kiera was a tiger in bed was the cherry on top. Or maybe _not_ the cherry, as the case might be. McGee had to snicker to himself when he thought of that, and blamed it on the continuous exposure to frat boy Tony during the course of the case.

Suffice it to say, McGee was exhausted. And so was the rest of the team. McGee wasn’t on his guard, didn’t have the energy for it that night, and was openly friendly towards Tony in the bullpen all evening, and Tony was relaxed and didn’t use his acerbic tongue on McGee either. As if they had declared a truce on their team personas, and were too tired and too relaxed to try to maintain that façade. Even Kate was not her usual sharp self and didn’t seem to notice or care if anyone was behaving differently. She was acting pretty mellow herself.

As they were working on their reports, McGee was getting blurrier and blurrier and he kept calling out to Tony to remind him of certain things so he could include it in his report. And Tony would answer back, and begin to get punchier and punchier. They were all beyond tired. But there was an air of camaraderie in the bullpen, as the teammates competed to see who would turn their reports in first.

Kate won the competition, and was printing out her report and gloating to her teammates when Tony’s stomach growled.

“You better eat something,” Kate lectured him. “We don’t want you catching cold or getting sick again like that time, remember?”

Tony glared at her, not wanting the reminder of the illness that he had been trying to hide from Gibbs.

Kate gave him an apologetic look about that but couldn’t help but continue. “Do you even have any food at home?”

Tony made a face. “Probably all furry by now. Maybe I should order something to be delivered here.”

“I could eat,” McGee volunteered.

“How about Chinese?” Tony asked. “Boss? You down for some Chinese food?”

“You know what I like,” Gibbs muttered.

“That’s a yes. McGee you’re in, right?” Tony turned to the probationary agent.

“Sign me up,” McGee nodded.

“Kate?” all eyes turned to Kate.

“I’m too sleepy,” Kate sighed. “And plus Abby shared her dinner with me when I had to go ask her a question earlier. So I’m not really hungry.”

“Boo! Party pooper!” Tony grumbled as he picked up his phone and dialed their favorite Chinese restaurant and put in their order. The food arrived not long after Kate left. And Tony came and sat at McGee’s desk to eat together at one desk, the way the team tended to do when they stayed late at night, especially since he had finished his reports and McGee had a few more things to do. Gibbs stayed at his desk with his share of the food as was his usual habit.

Tony was eating noodles with a fork and McGee was ribbing him about his lack of skills with chopsticks.

“I can’t believe that Very Special Agent DiNozzo has trouble with eating utensils that have been in use by billions of people over several millennia!” McGee teased him.

“No using the big words, McGee!” Tony pouted, continuing to dig into his carton of lo mein with his little plastic fork. “My puny brain can’t take it tonight.”

“That fork is going to break at the rate you’re going.”

Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “Bite me. At least I’m getting food into my belly. And you have that wrong over there,” he put a mouthful of noodles in his mouth, strands of it dripping out of his mouth and used his dirty fork to point at McGee’s computer screen.

“Stop messing my screen up with food, and I don’t have anything wrong… goddamnit!” McGee put his carton down, stuck his chopsticks carefully into it, and began typing. “I don’t know how you can even see that error. Don’t talk with your mouth full, Tony.”

“Why? You don’t think it’s super attractive?” Tony asked him, spewing food out of his mouth on purpose.

“Gross!” McGee made a face and smacked Tony’s arm. “Don’t make me kick you.”

Tony laughed and began to eat normally.

“But seriously, Tony. When are you going to learn how to use chopsticks?”

“Why do I even have to?”

“What if you had to go under cover and be the guy who has to teach his mark how to use chopsticks?” McGee gave him a knowing look. “Then what would you do?”

“Then I would have to learn how to use the chopsticks as part of my prep?”

“Seriously. Come on. I’ll teach you.” McGee grabbed a fresh pair of chopsticks, pulled it out of the paper wrapper, and separated the two halves. “Here,” he held them out to Tony.

Tony stared at him in disbelief. “Did I mention that I’m really hungry tonight?” he asked, eyes wide. “The fork is fine! I’m fine with a fork!”

“C’mon. Don’t be a baby. Give it a try. I won’t laugh if you can’t do it. Well. I won’t laugh too much if you can’t do it.”

Tony gave him a suspicious look, and reluctantly took the implements that McGee held out to him. He held them away from his body, as if they were explosives or something, and looked at them with such distrust that it made McGee laugh out loud.

“They’re not going to bite you, Tony,” he snickered.

“Fuck you. They’re instruments of torture, put on earth to make me starve even though I have lo mein,” Tony groused.

“Alright. First you have to master how to hold them. Like this,” McGee showed Tony how he held one chopstick firmly between his thumb and forefinger.

Tony struggled to copy him.

“Jesus, Tony. Hold this one like a pencil and the other like this... You do know how to hold a pencil, don’t you?”

Tony flicked McGee’s ear, making him yelp, but he adjusted his hold per the instructions. And then McGee showed him how to hold the second chopstick and how to move them to get the food.

“Yeah. Now try it on the noodles,” McGee took the fork out of Tony’s carton and handed the food to him sans fork.

Tony made a face, but obediently he stuck his chopsticks in and attempted to trap pieces of noodle in between them. McGee was giggling at Tony’s color commentary and his ineptitude. Finally, the agent was able to grab a small mouthful of noodles.

“Alright!” McGee cheered. “And now into your mouth!”

“Forks are so much more efficient,” Tony grumbled, and he moved the chopsticks towards his mouth. About an inch away from his mouth, his fingers slipped and the chopsticks shifted. The noodles dropped back into the carton that luckily, Tony was holding right up against his face. “God damn it!” he hissed.

McGee laughed and laughed.

“C’mon McGee! Give me my fork back!” Tony demanded.

“No way!” the younger man was almost choking on his own food.

“Eat shit and die, McAsshole,” Tony pouted. “I’m _starving_ here!”

“Don’t get upset,” McGee told him. “C’mon. Try it again. Come on, Tony. Don’t give up. I’ll stop laughing.”

Tony gave him a suspicious look.

“I promise. No more laughing. I’ll help you. Give it another try.”

Sighing loudly, Tony stuck the chopsticks back into the noodles and struggled again.

“Here,” McGee took Tony’s hand and arranged the chopsticks in them to his satisfaction, and then keeping his hand on Tony’s, helped the older man corral noodles in between the sticks and together, they slowly brought the mouthful up to Tony’s lips.

Tony opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the food, as McGee helped him get the noodles in. Tony was cheering loudly – mouth still full – and McGee was laughing along and cheering with him. And then BANG!

Both men jumped and whipped their heads over to Gibbs’ desk. The team lead was standing and he had dropped one of NCIS’s heaviest hardcover bound manual – the one on conduct in the office, McGee noted absently – as loudly as he possibly could on his desk.

“Are you quite done with this, DiNozzo?” he snarled.

Tony’s mouth was open in shock. “Done with what, Boss?” he asked, sounding completely surprised.

“With whatever it is that you’re trying to accomplish with McGee?” Gibbs growled.

“Huh?” Tony stared at Gibbs in shock. He shot a look at McGee who returned it with a puzzled look of his own. “What are you talking about, Boss?”

“Kate has been talking to me about how McGee seems to be brainwashed, lately,” Gibbs started.

Tony laughed at that. “Oh, Kate,” he sighed. “Poor, dear Kate. She’s been telling McGee that, too. Interesting that she hasn’t said anything directly to me about my abilities to brainwash people.”

“Well, _I’m_ saying it directly to you, DiNozzo. Quit flirting with McGee. Or sleeping with him. Or whatever it is that you’re doing to get him on your side. You’re supposed to be his Senior Field Agent, and that’s supposed to be in the field and not in the bedroom!” Gibbs thundered.

Tony’s mouth fell open. “You think I had sex with _McGee?_ ” he asked in a strangled voice.

“I know you sleep with men too, DiNozzo,” Gibbs snarled. “Is this how you expect to win McGee’s loyalty? By seducing him? You know that I will enforce Rule #12, right? He’s just a _kid!_ I wouldn’t be as upset if you were trying to pull this shit on Kate, but I guess she’s too wise to fall for your tricks.”

Tony turned crimson and McGee was sure he could see steam blowing out of Tony’s ears. He put a hand on Tony’s forearm to try and calm him but the older man shook him off. He stood up slowly, drawing himself to his full height, chopsticks and carton of noodles forgotten on McGee’s desk, and gave Gibbs a baleful glare.

“Are you accusing me of sleeping with McGee as a form of brainwashing him?” he asked, his voice quiet and dangerous.

“If the shoe fits!”

“And you came to this conclusion because Kate reported my inappropriate conduct? Towards McGee?”

“She didn’t have to! I can see it for myself! Here you are, holding hands, feeding each other food!” Gibbs was yelling now. “And I’ve noticed how McGee’s been so much more friendly with you over these last few weeks. He doesn’t fight with you at crime scenes, and he’s even _asking_ you for advice. And after that time you got shot, don’t you think I saw how affectionate you were with him? Physically? And how affected he was by you getting shot? Besides, you’re so much nicer to him now, even though you’re still trying to make it look like you’re ragging him regularly. Don’t think I missed that, DiNozzo.”

“And the only reason why McGee would ever be friendly towards me, is if I got in his pants?” Tony’s calm, quiet voice contrasted greatly with Gibbs’ yelling, and this frightened McGee more than he could express.

“I-it’s n-not l-l-like th-th-that, B-b-oss,” his stutter worsened at the worst time, as he tried to defend Tony.

“Don’t defend his actions, McGee,” Gibbs sneered. “I’ve seen you just watching me every time I talk to DiNozzo. Eyeing me closely.”

McGee was stuttering too badly to make real words now.

“Stay out of this, Tim,” Tony’s calm voice, using McGee’s first name, made the younger agent start to panic. “Gibbs, you can call HR on me if you have any evidence that I’m fucking McGee. Even though NCIS doesn’t even have a no fraternization rule, maybe you’ll be able to bully them into firing me. In the meantime, I have already turned my reports in to you. They’re all done. So I’m done here for the night. And I have a backlog of time off that I haven’t used, that Morrow’s been bugging me to use. As it turns out, HR hates carrying over leave from four years ago, not that you’d give a shit about things like that. Like leave, and overworking your team, and hanging around with your teammate while they finish their work out of some sense of camaraderie or friendship. So, I’m out of here. I’ll be back in a week. Or two. Or not. We’ll see. I might have _fucked my way_ into another job by then. Since that’s about all I’m good for. Hmmm? Right, Gibbs?” The bitterness in Tony’s voice made McGee’s heart crack open.

“Tony,” McGee whimpered. “Tony, don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.”

“You think that the only way I could earn someone’s friendship is to sway them with my supposed prowess in bed,” Tony’s voice remained calm and quiet, and his intense green eyes stared into Gibbs’ blue ones, the gaze intent and unwavering. “I haven’t let _you_ fuck me yet, at least not in bed. I’ve let you fuck with my life in every other way. So maybe that was my mistake? You don’t see me as a friend because I didn’t try to make my way into your bed? Because that’s the only possible way that I could be somebody’s friend?”

Gibbs’ mouth fell open and he flushed a deep red.

“Quid pro quo, Clarice,” Tony quoted, managing to do a decent Anthony Hopkins, and he nodded gently, his expression thoughtful. “I must have had a _really_ good time in my frat house, fucking every single one of my frat brothers, or better, the other way around. Maybe I just let them gangbang me to hell and back. Because hey, that’s what I do to be friends with a person, right? And my frat brothers are still some of my _closest_ friends, so surely they must have gotten something out of me in order for us to still be friends, even now, and you apparently know what it was they got out of me. And what about Abby? She’s my friend, too. Shoot, I must have been one hell of a lay that Abby’s such great friends with me.”

“DiNozzo…” Gibbs tried to break into the terrible slew of calm, quiet words.

“I see what you think of me now, Gibbs,” Tony continued, as if Gibbs hadn’t said anything. “Thanks for this insight into your _very_ high opinion of me, and how I live my life.”

“Tony…” McGee’s eyes were welling with tears now.

“It’ll be fine, Tim,” Tony gave him a small smile. “Tell Abs I’m sorry, OK?” Tony leaned in and gave him a hug and kissed his cheek gently. “It’s going to be OK,” he said softly.

And then McGee watched as Gibbs stood behind his desk, still growling angrily, and Tony walked back to his own desk, grabbed his badge and gun and backpack. And then he strolled, as leisurely as he could to the elevator, and stood with his back to them, casually leaning against the wall, legs crossed at the ankles, waiting for the elevator as if he had not a care in the world. When the elevator dinged and opened, he turned back towards them, threw them a jaunty wave, and winked sexily at McGee, licking his lips suggestively, and rubbing his nipple through his shirt obscenely before he disappeared into the metal box.

After the doors closed and the elevator dinged, McGee turned back to Gibbs, finally unfreezing. He knew that tears were leaking out of his eyes but he couldn’t stop them. “What have you _done?_ ” he yelled at Gibbs.

Gibbs looked a little shellshocked himself.

“I have a _girlfriend!_ ” McGee shouted. “That _Tony_ helped introduce me to. That _Tony taught_ me how to approach and talk to!”

Gibbs suddenly looked stricken.

“He’s my _friend!_ ” McGee continued to shout. “He’s not sleeping with me! I can’t believe you just told him that he’s nothing more than a slut and a whore! What the hell kind of person _are_ you? He’s been your partner for _years!!!_ Surely you must know him better than that!” All of a sudden, McGee stopped stuttering and stopped being afraid of Gibbs, consumed as he was by his anger. “And all this time he’s been there for you, doing all kinds of stupid shit that no other Senior Field Agent would dream of doing for their team leads. But not Tony. Noooo… Tony lets you blur work and personal life, jesus, the man jumps even before you can ask him to jump. And you like that about him. You constantly push him to jump further and higher at your whim. And all you can think is that he had to have slept with me in order for me to want to be his friend?”

“It’s not you…” Gibbs started to say.

“No. I got that. I’m just some stupid kid that Tony can sleep with and manipulate and brainwash. Believe me, I got that part,” McGee sat back down, and furiously began typing. He printed off his report, signed it, and dumped it on Gibbs’ desk. “If you find anything that needs to be changed, I’ll do it in the morning. I’ve got to go.”

McGee angrily threw the rest of the food into his trash, grabbed his things and left without even powering his computer off correctly – something he would never do on a normal night. He was immediately on the phone, calling Tony, but there was no answer. He called Abby to let her know what happened and drove to Tony’s apartment, which he had been invited to only once before. Abby showed up there as he was knocking on Tony’s door and yelling his name. She joined in with the knocking and calling Tony’s name.

After a few minutes, she pulled her enormous key ring out and began fiddling through it.

“You have a key to his apartment?” McGee asked.

“He gave it to me maybe a year ago?” Abby said, putting her key in the lock. She unlocked Tony’s door – all three locks on it, and they walked into a dark apartment. “Tony?” Abby turned the lights on and looked around.

“He’s not here,” McGee went to look in the bedroom and bathroom, and Abby checked the kitchen.

“Do you think he even came home?” Abby stood in the living room and made a slow turn, eyeing Tony’s TV and shelves filled to bursting with books and movies.

“Maybe not. I left not long after he did and I came straight here,” McGee sighed. “Oh god, Abs. It was awful. Gibbs practically called Tony a whore to his face. That the only reason that I would be friendly with Tony is because he fucked me. _Gibbs_ said this to him, Abs. God, you should have seen Tony’s face.”

Abby’s eyes filled with tears. “Ping his phone, Timmy,” she sniffled.

McGee pulled his laptop out, and Abby told him Tony’s wifi password, and he did his magic. But Tony’s phone could not be found.

“He turned it off,” McGee said sadly.

“He probably even took the sim card out to make sure we can’t find him,” Abby agreed.

They spent the next few minutes calling all their regular hangouts, the bars and restaurants that Tony frequented, and nobody reported seeing anyone fitting his description there. They looked at each other helplessly, not knowing where to go to start searching for Tony, or if they could even find him if he didn’t want to be found.

“Well, I’m going to wait for him here,” McGee declared.

“Me too.”

So the two friends ended up waiting for Tony and sleeping curled around each other on his couch, but Tony did not come home that night. Abby had to leave early to go to work, but McGee waited a few more hours since they usually were given a day off after all those days of working non-stop. But there was no sign of Tony. McGee kept pinging his phone every so often, just in case, but there was no sign of his phone either.

Finally, when it was early afternoon, and it was apparent that Tony wasn’t coming home right away, and didn’t want to be found, he wrote a short note to let Tony know that he and Abby had stayed there and were looking for him and concerned for him, and he went back to his own apartment. Who knew when Tony would return, and staying and waiting for him was becoming an exercise in futility.

The next day, McGee swung by Tony’s apartment before work, and even though he could see that Tony’s assigned parking spot was empty, he went up to the apartment and knocked anyway. He left after a few minutes when nobody answered. When McGee arrived at work, Gibbs and Kate were already there, sitting at their desks. He nodded at Kate when she wished him a good morning, but he refused to even look at Gibbs as he sat behind his desk.

A few minutes later, Kate looked at her watch and began to snicker. “Tony’s going to be late,” she laughed. “He’s soooo in trouble now.”

“He’s taking time off,” Gibbs told her shortly.

“What? Is he OK?” Kate was suddenly concerned. “He’s not sick again, is he?”

Gibbs shook his head.

McGee snorted and rolled his eyes.

“McGee?” Kate asked. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he muttered.

Kate gave him a puzzled look. “OK,” she said slowly. “You’re being really weird today, McGee.”

“Whatever,” McGee didn’t bother looking up as he started his day.

Kate kept looking at him and Gibbs because McGee sat there, pointedly ignoring Gibbs and Kate couldn’t help but feel the tension between the two men. McGee was working and periodically pinging Tony’s phone and still not finding his friend. He was really worried about Tony now, and he knew that Abby was beside herself. She had hacked into the security feed the previous day, and apparently lip read the whole ugly scene between Tony and Gibbs. Afterwards, she had locked herself into her office, refusing to come out or talk to anyone. She just quietly did her work, the lab quiet as a grave.

They caught a case that day, and McGee sighed as they schlepped out to Rock Creek Park. He missed Tony’s jokes about how Rock Creek Park was always the scene of a murder of a petty officer. He missed Tony’s quiet pointers as well as the teasing and the jokes. Gibbs was even more of a bear than usual, but all McGee had to do was silently glare at him, and Gibbs turned away and growled at Kate instead of him.

They all three trooped down to Forensics to hand all the evidence bags over to Abby, and Gibbs had brought her a caf pow. Abby took the cup and casually dropped it into the trash without even taking a sip, and wordlessly signed for the evidence. Every time she looked at Gibbs, McGee could see the accusation and hurt and anger in her eyes, and so could Gibbs. Gibbs pursed his lips but said nothing. Abby refused to speak to the team lead, and concentrated on speaking to McGee and Kate for the purposes of the case, but she was obviously not her usual exuberant self. Her face was devoid of makeup for once, and her hair was down. Even her clothes seemed just black and gloomy instead of edgy and perky that day. She looked sad. McGee gave her a hug before he left, but when Gibbs approached her, she moved away quickly. Refusing to accept a hug, or even a caf pow from the man.

Afterwards, Kate tried to get information out of McGee but he remained tight-lipped.

“Come on, McGee,” Kate wheedled. “Tell me what’s going on! Why are you so mad at Gibbs? And why is Abby so mad at Gibbs? I’ve never seen Abby turn away even a partial caf pow, never mind take a full one and dump it right in the garbage!”

“Ask Gibbs,” McGee bit out before he walked away.

For the next week, the atmosphere in the bullpen continued to be tense. McGee only spoke to Gibbs when it was case related, which wasn’t that different from his usual and not that notable. However, Abby still refused to say a word to the team lead, which was jarring and just plain wrong. But there remained no contact from Tony. Abby had even put an alert out on Tony’s credit cards to see his activities and where Tony might be, but his financial trail was completely dry too. Wherever Tony was, either someone else was paying for him, or he was using only the cash he had on him. Kate continued to try to get information out of McGee and Abby, still not quite daring to ask Gibbs what the hell was going on, but neither Abby nor McGee told her anything. And when she asked where Tony was, Abby would start to cry and McGee would walk away.

Finally, while McGee was trying to look at the case – they still hadn’t solved that one murder even after a week, which was no surprise given that they were all completely worried and distracted by DiNozzo’s absence and absolute radio silence – and by this time McGee was exhausted with worry for Tony and beginning to imagine scenarios where they would be called to identify Tony’s body at some morgue or other, the phone rang at his desk. It was Abby.

“Tony just called me,” she whispered. “He’s in bad shape. He needs us to go and get him. Will you come with me?”

“Of course,” McGee gathered his things and swept everything into his backpack, standing and grabbing his gun and badge. “Where is he?”

“Norfolk,” Abby sighed.

“His car?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say. I might have to put a BOLO out on it or something. I’ll wait until after we get there and talk to him.”

“OK.”

“I’ll meet you at the parking garage.”

“Roger.”

McGee got his things. He turned to Gibbs. “I’m taking the rest of the day,” he said quietly.

Gibbs glared at him. “Where the hell do you think you’re going in the middle of a case?”

“I have a _friend_ I need to take care of,” McGee said curtly.

Immediately Gibbs’ expression changed. He looked hopeful. Maybe he had been trying to call Tony, too. McGee didn’t know. He didn’t really care at this point in time. All he cared was that Tony had called Abby and that Tony was alive and not dead in a morgue somewhere, some poor unknown John Doe. In their line of work, it was all too easy to imagine the worst and McGee had already gone down that rabbit hole, imagining what might have happened to Tony such that his credit cards and bank card wasn’t being used, and his phone out of commission. Hell, he could have been kidnapped by one of the many criminals that he had put in jail and they wouldn’t have known. All of the terrible scenarios that had run through his head couldn’t so easily be purged, and he needed to look at Tony in person, to be sure that he really was OK. And Abby had said that he was in bad shape. What the hell did that even mean? Had he gone on a bender and was only just sobering up? McGee didn’t know any of it, and if Gibbs was a tiny bit worried about Tony after all the stupid shit that he’d said to him, well, then served him right. He should be worried. He should be very worried that Tony would have gone out and somehow hurt himself for the awful things that Gibbs had said to him that night.

“Is he OK?” Gibbs asked, his voice soft.

“I don’t know. But I need to go,” McGee walked away, ignoring the looks that Kate was giving him. In his head, he had assigned guilt to her as well, for actually telling Gibbs that she thought Tony had brainwashed him. He didn’t care if it wasn’t logical, he was angry at her, too. He was angry at everyone who couldn’t see Tony for who he really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know... I'm sorry. All I can say is, pay attention to the tags? :)
> 
> More tomorrow!
> 
> -j  
> xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummmm so after all the thing about checking the tags, jesco0307 pointed out in a comment (having not read this fic ahead of time and going with the flow of each chapter as I post them) that she thought if this was going where she thought this was going then I needed to add a tag? And turns out I did miss that tag. Oops? So I have added one more tag to the fic. Apologies for missing it the first time around *blushes* Thanks to jesco for still being an awesome beta even though she wasn't formally beta-ing this fiction!
> 
> Thanks to RPD for the awesome artwork!
> 
> And for those of you celebrating it, Happy Thanksgiving! :D

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

McGee and Abby drove down to Norfolk, and pulled up outside a seedy motel, one of those single story buildings of interconnecting rooms around a parking lot where you could pull your car right up to your front door, practically. McGee looked around the parking lot. No sign of Tony’s car.

Abby was knocking on one of the rooms and it took a long time before the door slowly opened.

“Oh my god! Tony!” Abby took in the sight before them.

Tony looked terrible. He was unshaven, and his hair was completely messed up. He looked to be naked under the sheet that was wrapped haphazardly around him, and every inch of exposed skin that McGee could see – his arms, his legs, his chest, his neck, shit there was a ring around his neck as if Tony had been physically strangled – was covered in bruises. His face had been spared most of the damage although he had a fat lip and one eye seemed to be recovering from a black eye, one that he might have incurred as long as a week ago. But for the most part, his face was unmarked, although he looked exhausted. Gaunt. Bags under his eyes. His skin looked sallow instead of its usual healthy golden glow. He seemed more than a little surprised to see them there, as if he hadn’t actually expected them to come for him.

“What happened to you?” McGee demanded. “Who did this to you?”

“No one,” Tony licked his split lip and gave them a guilty grin.

“Tony!” Abby’s eyes filled with tears.

“It’s OK, Abs. I asked for it. I wanted it,” he sighed, gesturing for them to come in. He carefully limped back to the bed and eased himself down. McGee could see wounds with flecks of dried blood liberally peppering his back. Tony was clearly in a lot of pain. The bed looked mostly unslept in though – the floral comforter had been discarded in a heap by the side of the bed but the rest of the bed looked made except for the dent in one of the pillows where Tony must have been lying. McGee could see dried blood dotting the sheets on the bed, too. So whatever happened to Tony didn’t happen here then. He stared at Tony. What the hell had happened to him?

“You know that I know people who can do this to you without leaving you all marked up and bleeding and hurt!” Abby yelled at him.

“I wanted it to hurt,” Tony repeated quietly. “I wanted it to bleed. Please don’t yell at me, Abs.”

Abby flung herself onto Tony and wrapped him so very gently in a hug and she burst into tears. “We were so worried about you,” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Abs,” Tony eased an arm around Abby and hugged her back. “Thanks for coming for my stupid ass. Fuck, easy on the ribs, Abs. Ow, ow, ow…” when Abby accidentally tightened her grip on him.

“Sorry, sorry!” Abby pulled away. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and pulled herself together. “Alright. Do I need a rape kit?”

“I wasn’t raped,” Tony blushed when both McGee and Abby gave him incredulous looks. “I wasn’t. It was consensual. And you know no matter how bad off I am, no barebacking.”

“You sure?” Abs questioned him.

“I’m sure.”

“Absolutely sure?”

“Absolutely, Abs. I promise. No unprotected sex, no rape,” Tony grimaced.

Abby scrutinized his face for a long time before she carefully kissed his cheek. “Alright. McGee is going to help you shower and shave, and then we’re going to the ER.”

“I don’t need to go to the ER, Abs. I just want to go home.”

“It’s either the ER or Ducky. Your choice,” Abby insisted. “Someone with a medical degree is going to examine you and make sure you’re OK.”

Tony sighed and tried to look to McGee for help but the younger agent shook his head and raised an eyebrow at Abby. He agreed with her. Tony looked like the victim of assault, or maybe even domestic abuse, sitting wrapped up in the questionable sheet.

“Fuck,” Tony sighed. “Fine. The ER then. I don’t want Ducky to see me like this.”

Abby nodded. “I figured you’d say that,” she said softly. “When you’re better, I’m going to punch your arm. Really hard. I thought I should tell you that well in advance.”

“What? Why?” Tony pouted.

“Because you scared me and Timmy shitless, you asshole,” Abby gritted out. “You had McGee here thinking about calling morgues to see if someone with your description had been found with no identification, alright? I called everyone I knew to try and find you. And I know McGee tried to hide it from me, but he’s been looking at all your past arrests and trying to figure out if any of them have been recently paroled and could have abducted you or something.”

“Oh,” Tony hung his head. “Sorry, Abs. Sorry, Tim,” he said penitently.

“Don’t kick him while he’s down, Abs,” McGee gently patted Tony’s arm, needing to reassure himself that Tony was solidly there. “It’s OK. I’m just glad you’re OK, Tony.”

“You better not pull this shit on us again, mister,” Abby growled.

Tony nodded. “I won’t.”

“You call and you let us know where you are, and that you’re OK. No matter what,” she insisted.

“OK,” Tony whispered.

Abby leaned in and gave him a gentle hug and kissed his temple. “McGee. Go get him clean and I’ll scrounge up some clothes for him.” She wrinkled her nose as she looked around the room. “Anything that’s in here, I vote we burn.”

Tony nodded and grinned at her. “I haven’t been here very long, I don’t think. I asked him to leave me here so I could sleep some.”

“Your dom?”

“Not _my_ dom,” Tony hedged. “ _A_ dom.”

“And he didn’t stay to take care of you?”

“I kicked him out.”

“He should have insisted on staying.”

“I insisted he leave.”

“Tony!”

“If it’s any consolation, he insisted I use his phone to call someone before he agreed to go.”

Abby sighed. “Next time have them call me so I can come right away, huh?”

Tony shrugged.

“Better yet, let there not be a next time. I can refer you to some really awesome doms who can punish the heck out of you, and leave no marks. And the aftercare is amazing,” Abby told him.

“OK,” Tony nodded. McGee helped him up and they walked together to the attached bathroom. “What day is it anyway?” Tony asked.

“Thursday,” McGee said quietly.

“Thursday? I can’t have only been gone two days?” Tony gave him a puzzled look.

“Nine days, Tony,” McGee said quietly. “You’ve been gone nine days.”

“Oh,” he shut up after that, looking extremely guilty. “Did Gibbs fire me?”

“I filed your time off papers and Gibbs signed off on them,” Abby yelled out. “He wouldn’t dare fire you after what he said to you.”

“You _told_ her?” Tony smacked McGee’s arm gently.

“Of course I told her,” McGee huffed back.

“I looked at the security feed anyway,” Abby yelled from the other room. “So you can stop blaming McGee.”

Tony sighed and McGee unwrapped him from the sheet toga. McGee couldn’t stop himself from wincing as more damaged flesh was exposed. There were bruises from handcuffs around his wrists and his ankles were similarly bruised from restraints.

“Fuck, Tony,” McGee gave him a lost look.

“I’m fine,” Tony told him, putting a hand on McGee’s cheek to comfort him. “Just a little banged up. Nothing major. I’m totally fine.”

But by now, McGee knew the value of Tony’s ‘fines’. He would kick up a stink that the entire squad room could hear when he got a paper cut in the bullpen, but if he was shot, or beat up, or really hurting, then he was ‘fine’. Tony was unselfconscious in his nudity but McGee turned away to give him a little privacy while he peed, and took the opportunity to turn the shower on for him. But then he carefully helped Tony into the tub and waited there in case Tony needed help. Tony took a long, hot shower, and then allowed McGee to carefully shave him while he sat on the counter. His own hands were trembling too much to shave himself, and he didn’t want to leave the room looking quite so unkempt. So he sat wrapped in a towel while McGee carefully scraped the beard off of him. Then he spent a little time trying to clean the wounds on Tony’s back, but they were a few days old and some of them were deep lacerations. They didn’t look like they would probably need stitches, but he definitely needed to go to the ER, especially since McGee had seen the blood mixed in with Tony’s urine when he flushed the toilet earlier.

Abby handed them some of McGee’s clothes from his go-bag, and McGee left Tony alone to get dressed. It shocked McGee when Tony emerged from the bathroom, wearing one of his old MIT t-shirts and loose draw string pajama pants with Boba Fett all over them. His feet were bare. It occurred to McGee that dressed this way, Tony looked young and vulnerable. Even greener than he himself felt most days. He and Tony were about the same height but he was definitely bulkier than the man. His clothes were big on Tony, so they hung loosely around his spare frame, and the short sleeves exposed the bruises on his arms. And besides, McGee had seen first hand all the bruises on Tony’s body, and the lacerations on his back where he had apparently been whipped or flogged. He knew that Tony’s ribs were at least bruised, based on his reaction to Abby’s hug, there might be damage to his kidneys, and his heart had to be dashed into tiny little pieces, but Tony was on his feet and smiling at them, which made him just want to cry. After all he’d put himself through, Tony was still smiling happily at them. Happy that they had come all this way to Norfolk to patch him up and take him home.

McGee felt an irrational spike of anger bubble up through him. Anger at Gibbs for pushing Tony over the edge into whatever the hell it was he’d done to himself. Anger at everyone who had taught Tony to expect nothing for himself. Tony had asked a dom to basically torture him. Physically hurt him. Make him bleed. Leave horrible marks on him. McGee had always known that Tony was self destructive – hell anyone who had worked as long as he had for Gibbs, and had taken all of Gibbs’ abuse, both physical and verbal had had to be somewhat masochistic. But this was taking it too far. And what bothered him about all of this now was that he felt he understood why Tony needed to feel that physical pain. It wasn’t something he would do to himself personally, but he understood where Tony was coming from now. Tony loved Gibbs, and not only had Gibbs ignored this, he had accused Tony of sleeping with McGee in order to get him on his side. The love of his life had accused him of whoring himself out at work. McGee couldn’t even fathom what kind of pain Tony must have been feeling right now, even though he was smiling at them.

“Alright,” Abby gave him a brusque nod. “I couldn’t find your shoes anywhere, Tony, but McGee had these in his trunk.” She held out a pair of fuzzy slippers with bunny ears on them. Interestingly, the bunny had fangs.

Tony stared at them for a moment before he broke into a peal of helpless giggles, which again made McGee think how young Tony seemed at that moment. “Bunnicula?” he managed to choke out, as he held his ribs and tried to giggle less explosively.

“Shut up!” McGee blushed furiously. “They’re super comfortable.”

Tony pulled himself together, giving McGee amused grins as he slipped his feet into the fanged bunnies and sighed. “Wow. They are comfortable.”

“Told you,” McGee stuck his tongue out.

“C’mon. Let’s head to the nearest ER,” Abby said, gently taking Tony’s arm. “I went to settle up with the motel but turns out your dom paid for the room for a week. At least he was trying to care for you. But, we’re all set here. And I’ve looked through the room. It appears you may have arrived here buck naked or maybe wearing that sheet from earlier. I don’t see any of your things in here. Nothing of yours anywhere, no clothes, no shoes, nothing. So I have no clue where any of your things are.”

Tony waved it away. “It’s just stuff.”

“Wait, here, put my jacket on,” McGee shrugged out of his jacket and held it out.

“I’m fine,” Tony shook his head.

“Just shut up and put it on. It’s cold out,” McGee told him.

Tony looked at McGee’s expression and decided not to argue. Wordlessly, he took the coat offered and Abby helped him put it on before they went out to the parking lot.

Abby climbed into the back seat of McGee’s Porsche and Tony settled into the passenger seat with a slight groan. At the ER, the nurse took one look at Tony and they were immediately settled into an examination room. When a nurse came by to get his preliminary information, McGee was standing against the wall, filling out the forms on the clipboard, and Abby was sitting on the table beside Tony, arms around each other, his head resting on her shoulder. He seemed to be exhausted and Abby was the only thing holding him up.

“I’m going to have to ask everyone but the patient to leave,” the nurse said sternly.

“They can stay,” Tony told her, his grip on Abby tightening. “I want them to stay.”

“You’re entitled to your privacy.”

Tony gave her a small smile. “I know. But they’re my best friends.”

“And he’ll run out of here if we’re not here to make him see a doctor,” Abby told the nurse bluntly.

She gave Abby and McGee a long look before she nodded. “Sir, I regret to inform you that I will have to call the police.”

“No cops,” Tony immediately sat up, shaking his head.

“This looks like assault.”

“It really isn’t,” Tony denied it. “I’m just a little beat up. Please, don’t involve the cops.”

“Are you going to be returning to this situation, sir? Is it a partner who’s doing this to you?” the nurse’s tone was infinitely compassionate.

Tony scrubbed his face. “No,” he said in a small voice.

McGee fumbled as he pulled out his credentials. “I’m a Federal Agent,” he gave it to the nurse who scrutinized it. “And so is Tony. We’ll be taking care of this in-house at NCIS.”

The nurse gave the three of them another long, serious look before she reluctantly nodded. “I guess I would be calling you guys anyway if Tony here had turned up here without the rest of you.”

McGee nodded.

“And you’re sure this wasn’t done to you by a partner, or a boyfriend?” the nurse prodded again.

“I’m sure,” Tony told her.

“I’m not going to believe it if you tell me that you walked into a door,” she said sternly.

“What if I told you I asked to be tied up and fucked and whipped by strangers in a sex dungeon for a week?” Tony said brightly.

The nurse rolled her eyes. She wasn’t a newbie and she could tell that Tony was actually trying to hide the truth by just telling her the truth. “Then we’re going to have to do a rape kit and run some tests, and treat you for possible STD and HIV exposure.”

“I always insisted on a condom,” Tony said, deflating glumly.

The nurse snorted, but her hands were gentle when she lifted up Tony’s shirt.

“His back’s going to need some attention,” Abby told her. “And his ribs hurt.”

“There was blood in his urine earlier,” McGee piped up.

The nurse gave Tony a concerned look but didn’t say another word, making notes on her clipboard instead. She took his temperature and blood pressure, and jotted more notes down. Then she handed him a hospital gown.

“Everything off,” she told him. “We can pull this curtain when the doctor comes in to do the more private examination. Your friends don’t have to leave but we can spare them the gory details. OK?”

Tony nodded glumly and Abby and McGee had to help him get his clothes off.

It turned out, after a few hours, a thorough examination, an x-ray and a battery of other tests, that Tony had badly bruised ribs, his back was shredded into ribbons but none of the wounds were deep enough to require stitches, his rectum had some lacerations but nothing too serious, and he had a kidney infection. Over eighty percent of his body was covered in bruises. They gave him a tetanus shot and would call him with results of STD tests – while he had not been fucked bareback, he had apparently given blow jobs without a condom. McGee heard the doctor and the nurse discussing quietly that the lacerations on Tony’s back included hesitation marks. Whoever had done the whipping had not wanted to break the skin. McGee had no doubt that Tony had to have insisted on the extra rough treatment, asked them to make him bleed. He sighed again at the thought of what Tony had put himself through for over a week.

But overall, he was fine. He was alive. He wasn’t dead in a morgue. He and Abby didn’t have to identify Tony’s body, just escort him to the ER. He was extremely thankful that Tony was relatively fine.

Abby filled his prescriptions of antibiotics and painkillers while they waited for Tony to be released. “He’s OK,” Abby kept telling McGee, although at this point he wasn’t sure if Abby was reassuring him or herself.

Tony shuffled out, still dressed in McGee’s clothes and the Bunnicula slippers, smiling at the nurse, already resuming his flirtatious behavior, and making her blush and scold him gently, and McGee and Abby were immediately on either side of him, each carefully taking hold of an arm.

They stopped to eat at an IHOP and Tony demolished a stack of pancakes, bacon, eggs, and hash brown potatoes, falling on his food as if he hadn’t eaten in a week. McGee had to wonder if he had eaten much over the past week. Tony didn’t even get to finish his Chinese food that awful night, and McGee felt so guilty that his whole thing with teaching Tony how to use chopsticks had somehow ended so explosively. After eating, they settled Tony as comfortably as they could in the passenger seat, Abby sat in the back seat, and McGee drove them back to DC. McGee dropped Tony and Abby off, Abby insisting that Tony stay with her and the nuns until Tony was better. She gave McGee her key to Tony’s apartment and sent him to pack Tony’s clothes for a week, ignoring Tony’s protests. McGee did as he was told, returning to Abby’s with a packed bag, filled with Tony’s toiletries and comfortable clothes, loose enough to not bother Tony’s back as he healed up. Tony had slept most of the way back from Norfolk, but even so, by the time McGee came back with Tony’s things, he had been tucked into bed and was asleep again.

Abby and McGee just stared at each other wordlessly.

“Take care of him?” McGee asked.

“I will,” Abby promised. “You better go get a little sleep if you’re planning to go to work tomorrow.”

McGee nodded.

“I’m going to take a week off and stay with Tony,” Abby told him. “Or he’ll end up going back to work even though he’s still in rough shape.”

McGee nodded. That made sense.

“I’ll ask him tomorrow where his car might be. And his wallet. His credentials. His service weapon,” Abby sighed and rubbed her face. “I hope his creds and gun are someplace safe. I don’t want to have to report missing creds and service weapon to Gibbs.”

McGee bit his lip. He hadn’t even thought of that.

“No sense worrying about it now,” Abby said, giving him a cheerful smile. “At least we have Tony back. Safe and sound. Mostly sound.”

“Yeah.”

“Good night McGee,” Abby pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you for coming with me to Norfolk today.”

“Of course,” McGee muttered. “He’s my friend, too.”

“I know. And I’m glad.” Abby smiled at him and McGee kissed her cheek before he left.

McGee wasn’t bright eyed and bushy tailed when he turned up at work the next morning, but he was much more settled. Gibbs gave him a quiet look and didn’t ask any questions. McGee wondered if Gibbs could see that he was happier, and that Tony had resurfaced and was squirreled away someplace safe now. Abby texted him later that morning to let him know that she and Tony had retrieved his car, and he had hidden his gun and badge and wallet in it. His car he had left in a paid parking garage in a safe area of DC. Aside from massive parking charges and the fact that Tony had no idea where the clothes that he’d been wearing that night he left were, there were no serious repercussions. Tony at least didn’t have to explain how he might have lost possession of his gun and badge. But it worried McGee that Tony had gone off with some guy to a sex dungeon where he could ask to be bound and tortured and hurt, with only some cash in his pocket. Not a scrap of ID, nothing else. He wondered, a little hysterically, if Tony had bought a whole value pack box of condoms to bring with him to a sex dungeon, if he’d handed them each a long strip of condoms just for a night out at a club.

That evening, McGee and Kiera brought dinner to Abby, Tony and the nuns, and they spent the evening playing Scrabble. Tony and Kiera were both viciously and ruthlessly competitive and Tony surprised McGee by being actually very good at Scrabble. But he tired early, and Abby sent him off to bed after guilting him into taking his pain meds.

Tony came back to work after taking the whole of the following week off, ending up being away from work for almost three whole weeks. He was at his desk on Monday morning, already going through his emails, when McGee and Kate arrived. Not bothering to hide his pleasure at seeing the older man at his desk, McGee gave him a huge smile.

“Good morning, Tony! Welcome back!” he greeted him.

“Thanks McGee,” Tony smiled back.

“About time you got your ass back to work,” Kate grinned at him.

“Yup,” Tony agreed politely. But he didn’t take the bait and didn’t do what Kate expected him to do. Normally, Tony would enthusiastically describe his vacation and all the women that he’d supposedly had sex with, but this time Tony gave her a polite smile and turned back to his screen.

“Are you OK, Tony?” Kate suddenly saw that Tony’s eye was still healing, a very light dull yellow instead of the purple of the week before, and that he was wearing a turtleneck. McGee knew it was to cover the bruises encircling his neck. The sleeves were extra long and were halfway down his hands, to cover the cuff marks still livid on his wrists.

“Fine,” Tony told her, again as politely as he could.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What’s going on?” Gibbs’ voice made them all jump.

“Nothing,” Tony answered Gibbs, in the same polite tone of voice that he had answered Kate.

“You have a good time off, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked gruffly.

“Yup,” Tony nodded, keeping his eyes on his computer screen and scrolling with his mouse.

“You need anything?”

Tony looked at Gibbs then, and McGee suppressed a shudder. Tony’s green eyes were cold and dispassionate. “No,” he answered.

“We good?” Gibbs tried again.

“Yup,” Tony nodded, before turning back to his screen.

Kate gave McGee a wide eyed, questioning stare, and McGee shrugged helplessly. He didn’t really know what Tony was doing, but he was going to back his play, whatever it was.

“Aren’t you going to tell us about your vacation, Tony? Did you go on one of those fuck me cruises that you and your frat brothers like to go on?” Kate asked.

“It’s an inappropriate topic to discuss at work,” Tony told her, still unfailingly polite.

“What?” Kate asked, and McGee found that he had also verbalized the question at the same time.

“It has been brought to my attention that my… familiarity with my teammates can be misconstrued as misconduct,” Tony looked up and those cold, green eyes settled on Kate, Gibbs and McGee. He looked like Tony but he didn’t sound like Tony. It was as if a pod person had replaced their Tony.

“What? Misconduct?? Who would tell you that?” Kate demanded.

“It doesn’t matter,” Tony said, even as McGee glared at Gibbs. This was Gibbs’ fault. Pod Tony was absolutely all Gibbs’ fault. “Regardless, I’ve thought about this a lot during my time off, and I agree. Familiarity breeds contempt, as they say. So from today on, I will be adhering strictly to the regulations set out in the NCIS Code of Conduct manual,” Tony pulled the enormous bound book off the shelves behind his desk. He went and placed it gently on Kate’s desk and returned to his seat, ignoring the bewildered and disbelieving stares Kate and McGee were giving him. “This way there will be no misunderstandings. I am the Senior Field Agent, I will conduct myself according to the regulations set out in the manual. I will expect you both to behave appropriately.”

“What?” Kate couldn’t stop asking the question. “Stop pranking us, Tony.”

“That would be highly unprofessional,” Tony told her, still polite and still cold. He turned to Gibbs. “I understand this might be a drastic change for the team. But don’t hesitate to ask me any questions, and we can loop HR in as necessary. I know that _you_ have a copy of the manual and are familiar with its contents,” he said to Gibbs, and McGee realized then that it was a copy of the same bound manual that Gibbs had slammed down on his desk before accusing Tony of sleeping with McGee.

He turned back to his computer screen and calmly continued to work. Kate was staring at him, mouth open, unsure of how to react, and McGee found himself really hoping that Tony was pulling a prank on them. But he’d also seen the set of Tony’s jaw when Gibbs came in. Tony was pissed, and Gibbs was on the shit list. And Tony was done pretending to be whatever the hell he needed to be in order to keep the team glued together. McGee could see it. Tony was going to be the team’s SFA, and that was it. He was going to stick to the letter of the regulations, and fuck the consequences.

McGee turned angry eyes to Gibbs again and glared at him. This was all Gibbs fault. Gibbs had broken Tony. Broken his heart, broken his spirit, broken everything. Shit, if this was how things were going to be, McGee didn’t know how he was going to survive in this atmosphere. How Tony would survive it. McGee couldn’t stand to see the normally exuberant man sitting so still, doing his work, answering questions politely. Hell, he even started answering his phone exactly the way the manual had worded it in their example of an acceptable greeting. No more Very Special Agent DiNozzo greetings.

Gibbs glared at Tony, taking in the remnants of the black eye, the turtleneck, and the stiff way he still held himself.

“Go see Ducky. I don’t want you back in the field if you’re hurt,” he said curtly.

The glare Tony threw at Gibbs was so venomous it made McGee cringe. “Of course, _sir_ ,” he stood and left his desk. And for once Gibbs didn’t give him the usual shit about not calling him sir.

“Go with him,” Gibbs barked at McGee, and the junior agent didn’t need to be told twice. He scrambled to leave his desk and catch up with Tony.

Ducky was pleased to see Tony but when Tony gave him the polite, impersonal greeting, he looked perplexed. “Are you quite all right, Anthony?” he asked, his blue eyes concerned.

“Yes,” Tony told him.

“Did you have a lovely time off?”

“Yes, thank you,” Tony nodded. “I hope things were well with you as well?”

“Yes, yes of course,” Ducky was staring at him. “Good lord, Anthony, is that a black eye?”

Tony nodded.

“Given your rate of healing, I would estimate that that happened right around the start of your time off. About three weeks ago?”

Tony nodded again.

“Let me guess, Jethro wants me to look you over and ensure you’re fit for field duty?”

Again Tony nodded.

“Well, let me examine you then,” Ducky pointed to a metal table.

Tony sighed. “This is not NCIS regulations,” he muttered.

“Perhaps not the locale, but I am still your primary care physician, am I not?” Ducky asked sharply.

“Of course,” Tony agreed.

“Regulations state that you must receive the approval of your primary care physician – that would be me – before you can return to the field,” Ducky wasn’t budging.

“But I already saw a doctor about it. While I was out of office.”

“Then I would like for them to fax those records to me. Please sign these forms,” Ducky handed him a clipboard and some papers.

McGee stood quietly while he waited for Ducky to speak to someone at the ER they had gone to, and when the fax came through, Ducky flipped slowly through the pages and turned to Tony, his expression a combination of concern and anger. The ER had been thorough and had taken pictures, even though Tony was NCIS and they weren’t calling the police, they had wanted to document everything in case it ended up being needed for evidence. He looked at McGee who was standing quietly not quite out of sight.

“He can stay,” Tony told Ducky.

“What did you do to yourself, Anthony?” Ducky asked softly.

“None of NCIS’s business. I was off the clock,” Tony said firmly.

Ducky sighed. “I will need to examine your ribs,” he finally said. “If I am to certify that you are field ready, I will need to check how they are healing.”

Tony sighed and nodded.

“Do you want me to go, Tony?” McGee asked.

“You can stay,” Tony gave him a small smile, but it was a Tony smile, albeit one without the sparkling, dancing eyes. Tony took the turtleneck off and unbuttoned the shirt he had on underneath, easing out of it. Ducky checked his ribs and clucked at the purple and yellow bruises around Tony’s neck and wrists, but said nothing about them.

“You’re fit for duty,” Ducky finally declared, and McGee could tell that he really wanted to bench Tony but could find no reason to.

Tony pulled his clothes back on, and politely thanked Ducky. And with McGee by his side, he started towards the elevator.

“Doctor Mallard?” Tony turned back.

Ducky just gave him a stern look.

“Ducky,” Tony said apologetically. “As my primary care physician…”

“I am bound by doctor-patient confidentiality,” Ducky knew where he was going with it. “I cannot speak of this to anyone, not even Jethro, without your express permission. Especially since this does not affect your work. Although you did allow young Timothy here to witness this, and he is not bound by the same confidentiality.”

Tony gave McGee a grin. “I trust him,” he said, and those simple words warmed McGee’s heart. And they went back to the bullpen and Ducky called up to give Gibbs the all clear.


	8. Chapter 8

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

By the end of the week, McGee was desperately missing Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo because what he had now was a pain in the ass stickler for every single regulation. He did not defuse the tension at crime scenes, he cracked no jokes, and if McGee or Kate or even Gibbs deviated from regulations, he would cite chapter and verse and remind them – politely – of it, just looking at them until they all conformed. He began conducting interviews of witnesses and suspects with a decorum that was truly admirable, but McGee wasn’t sure if he’d become less effective in this way, but he still got the job done. But the worse side effect of this new Tony was that he refused to pander to Gibbs’ needs. He showed up to crime scenes and just took it over if Gibbs didn’t answer his phone and wasn’t present. He no longer went the extra mile for Dispatch, of going to Gibbs’ house to pick him up if Gibbs didn’t bother to adhere to his own rule about not being out of touch. He didn’t magically produce cups of coffee for Gibbs which made the team lead even grumpier than usual, and the one time Gibbs doled out a head slap at him, he threatened Gibbs with HR and cited the regulations against assault of a fellow agent.

“Don’t think they won’t take this seriously,” Tony told Gibbs quietly. “This is your one chance. One more and you’ll be talking to my legal representatives and HR about repeatedly physically assaulting your Senior Field Agent.”

Gibbs just stared at him. And DiNozzo kept those cold, calm, green eyes on Gibbs, refusing to back down. Finally Gibbs stood down, nodded and walked away and Tony went on with the work as if nothing had happened.

Kate and McGee were left to stare at each other in amazement.

“What the hell just happened?” Kate asked softly.

“Tony’s giving us what we always told him we wanted. A real agent who doesn’t goof off,” McGee answered.

“Shit, McGee. Did we break Tony somehow?”

McGee shrugged.

Kate was giving him a long look. “No, I don’t think _we_ broke Tony. Or not necessarily just us. It was Gibbs wasn’t it?”

McGee shrugged again.

“And you were there!” Kate exclaimed. “What happened? What the hell did Gibbs say to Tony to make him… _this?_ ” She grimaced.

McGee shrugged again.

“And that’s why he took all that time off? Because Gibbs said something so terrible to him that he couldn’t stick around? And when he came back he felt he needed to be this emotionless machine?”

McGee cleared his throat. “We should get back to work,” and he turned away, ignoring Kate’s sounds of frustration.

There were some perks to Tony’s strict adherence to the regs though. The next time Gibbs tried to make them stay late on a case that had gone cold, Tony put his foot down.

“Regulation Fifty Six Dot Three Point B stipulates that cases in which there is no urgent threat of imminent danger do not require overtime of the entire team,” he told Gibbs, with those cold eyes and polite voice. “This is such a case. So it’s time to go and we can pick this up in the morning.”

“That is at the team lead’s discretion,” Gibbs growled at him. “I know that regulation.”

“The vic was killed three months ago,” Tony replied, completely unflappable. “We have no leads. No one is in imminent danger.”

“That we know of.”

“That we know of, this is true. Given that we don’t know anything yet, we wouldn’t be able to prevent anything from happening nor would we even be able to make the connection to a related crime until after it has happened. Staying here and exhausting the team while we have no leads will only lower the team’s performance and ultimately slow us down in our ability to solve this case,” Tony countered. “What good is it for us to sleep at our desks when this vic has been dead three months, has no surviving family members, and we have no leads as to who killed him? It’s illogical and an inefficient use of overtime as well as detrimental to agents’ health.”

Gibbs stared at him, trying to glare him into submission. Tony blinked once, eyes still cold and emotionless and Gibbs sighed and looked away.

“Make sure you’re back here at 0700,” he growled to the team.

Tony nodded politely at him, and quietly went to gather his things. Kate and McGee blinked at each other. It was the first time that Gibbs had ever let them leave at a reasonable hour when they had been assigned a case. And in this case, Tony was right. There was no need for them all to push themselves to breaking point when no one else was in imminent danger. It was far more efficient for them to get proper rest and return first thing the next morning and work the case with fresh minds and bodies not stiff from sleeping at their desks. They had all talked about it and griped about it at lunches or drinks when Gibbs wasn’t around, but it was the first time that Tony had stood his ground, citing regulations and forcing the issue. After a moment where both McGee and Kate froze, they gave Gibbs a quick glance, and then hurried to gather their things and leave for the evening as well. This part they certainly could get on board with without any hesitation.

They continued in that way for several weeks without any change. Tony’s new mask seemed to solidify even more instead of dissolving over time. His eyes no longer danced and twinkled at work, and he never, ever flirted with Gibbs again. Not even in an involuntary way. There were no more downturned eyes, slow eyelash blinks, no more blushing. Tony met Gibbs’ eyes straight on, with practically no emotion. And if Gibbs quirked an eyebrow or tried to communicate with Tony non-verbally, Tony just stared at him, taking no action, giving him absolutely no response until Gibbs was forced to speak. After which, Tony would nod, murmur a polite “Yes, sir” and carry out his orders. And still, Gibbs did not correct him and ask him not to call him “sir.” McGee hadn’t heard Tony call Gibbs “Boss” ever since the incident. It was Gibbs or Sir now. And Tony didn’t only just stop flirting with Gibbs. At work, he had stopped flirting entirely, sticking to the regs for the entire time.

The only thing that saved McGee’s sanity was that Tony reverted back to himself after work. When he, Abby and Tony went out for drinks or dinner, Tony would be himself, full of verve and life, dynamic as ever. They still put their heads together, and cold read the people around them, and they even started playing a new game where they would make up backstories, and create a whole saga about some of the more interesting people. Tony flirted like crazy, and had many random hook ups. The difference now was that he now hooked up with as many men as he did women, and even though he still stuck to men that were reminiscent of Gibbs – he still had a type – he didn’t seem to concern himself with giving the impression that he might be leading them on. He seemed to be done with that. He made it clear up front he wasn’t looking for a relationship and if they were OK with that, then they could fuck. And if they had a problem with that, then Tony would move on to the next person. He now applied the same rules to men that he did to women. And even though Abby had been the one to encourage him to date men again, she pursed her lips, unhappy at this turn of events, but said nothing because Tony had to cope with this the way he needed to, and she knew this was what Tony felt he needed to do at this point.

One night when they were out to dinner and Kiera was with them, unexpectedly, a familiar looking man came up to their table and Tony was reduced to stammering and blushing, which absolutely shocked Kiera. McGee realized with a shock that it was Samuel, that guy that Tony had had dinner with after his very first lesson at flirting. Samuel who bought them drinks the night McGee met Kiera. They stood off to the side, heads close together, but McGee couldn’t hear what was being said. After Samuel pulled Tony away for their private talk, Tony came back, still blushing.

“What just happened?” Abby asked him.

He gave her a small grin. “He asked me out.”

“And you said?” Abby’s eyes were wide. Tony had not been open to any second dates of late, if you could even call what he was doing dating.

He shrugged and nodded.

“Oh yay!” Abby cheered.

“I told him that I’m not looking for anything serious,” Tony said softly. “He said that was OK.”

Later, when McGee and Kiera were lying in her bed, replete after a satisfying round of sex, she snuggled up into him and sighed. “Poor Tony,” she blew out a breath. McGee had told her most of what had happened and that Gibbs had completely crushed Tony that night. “He’s so wounded now. Samuel is going to have his hands full.”

McGee hummed in agreement.

“I want to meet this Gibbs,” Kiera scrambled up on her elbows and stared down at McGee. “This man who wields so much power over your lives, and who’s managed to hurt your best friend so badly that everyone can see from a mile away that he’s in pain, even though he’s covering it up. I want to see him with my own eyes.”

“Bad idea,” McGee shook his head. “It’s a bad idea.”

“He can’t hurt me,” Kiera told him solemnly. “What’s he going to do? Punish you for having a girlfriend? He’s the idiot who couldn’t see what was right in front of his eyes. He missed out on Tony. I want him to see me, because he threw Tony away thinking Tony was fucking you, when Tony was playing matchmaker for us. I want him to see me. Your girlfriend. The one who’s really fucking you.”

McGee stared at her and sighed. Kiera had that look on her face that reminded him of Abby when she had a new cause and was not going to let it go. “Fine,” he breathed out.

“Tomorrow?” she asked. “I can leave early from work tomorrow.”

McGee nodded. “OK. If we’re not hot on a case.”

The next day, while the team was working on paperwork, waiting for Gibbs to dismiss them, the elevator dinged and Kiera came into the bullpen. McGee’s breath caught in his throat. His girlfriend was gorgeous. She was a goddess, walking into the bullpen, with a big smile for him. He gave her a smile back, pulled her into a hug and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“Hey,” he greeted her. “Just in time. We’re about done here for the day.”

She smiled up at him. Then she turned to Tony and gave him a friendly smile. “Hey, Tony.”

“Kiera,” Tony smiled at her. He stood and rolled a chair over to her. “Here, take this spare chair of mine over there and you can wait in comfort. We shouldn’t be too much longer. Then you can have McGee all to yourself.”

Kiera thanked him and sat down next to McGee. Tony was back at his desk, eyes on his computer screen, trying to finish up the paperwork he was working on. Kate was openly staring at McGee and Kiera, and Kiera was staring intently at Gibbs, and Gibbs was alternating between staring at Kiera and McGee, and turning to Tony. McGee hurried through the last of his tasks, and then looked up at Gibbs.

“I’m done, Boss,” he told the team lead.

Gibbs was staring right back at Kiera at the time. He blinked and turned his gaze on McGee. “Go on then,” he told the junior agent.

McGee grabbed his gun, badge and backpack, turned his computer off, and helped Kiera back into her coat. When Kiera had her coat on, she gave Gibbs another open stare before she looked away, an obvious dismissal. There was no way Gibbs wouldn’t get that Kiera knew the real story behind what happened with Tony.

McGee said his farewells, and Kiera fluttered her fingers at everyone and took McGee’s arm. And as they turned to walk away, Kiera gave Tony a smile. “Hey Tony, maybe we can double date, if you bring your special someone, one of these days?”

Tony blushed then, and gave her a flustered smile before he nodded. Kiera had carefully omitted the gender of Tony’s ‘special someone’ but he, Kiera and McGee all knew she meant Samuel since Tony had agreed to go out with Samuel again.

And later, after he and Kiera had had a lovely evening together, and McGee was still on a post-coital high, snuggled with Kiera in her bed, later was when they started talking about Gibbs again.

“Did Gibbs have feelings for Tony?” she asked. “Before the incident, I mean.”

“We don’t know,” McGee admitted. “Abby and I have been trying to figure Gibbs out but the evidence was inconclusive.”

“I love it when you get all federal agent on me,” Kiera giggled. “ _Evidence was inconclusive._ ”

“Why do you ask?”

Kiera made a thoughtful sound. “I’m wondering if Gibbs was jealous when he accused Tony of fucking you.”

“Jealous? Of what?”

“Of you.”

“What? Why would Gibbs be jealous of me?”

Kiera whapped his chest. “Because he’s in love with Tony, of course.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I mean, think about it. Gibbs got mad specifically because he thought Tony was flirting with you. We all know Tony flirts with everything with a pulse, so why would he get so mad at the thought of Tony flirting with you?”

“Because he has rules about inter-office romances?”

“Granted, there is that,” Kiera agreed. “But also, I think he saw your friendship and thought that it was more than that. That he could see that Tony wasn’t just flirting with you like he flirts with everyone else, but that he was genuinely fond of you, and you were of him.”

“OK. And so what?”

“And I think that threatened him. Because all of a sudden, he’s not the one getting the secret smiles and the in jokes. You are. And all he can think of is that you guys must be fucking because that’s how it would be different from his relationship with Tony. They don’t have that. Wait. They’ve never, you know, fucked, right?”

“No they haven’t,” McGee confimed. “Tony said so during their fight.”

“There you go. Gibbs was jealous and he accused Tony of being a whore because he was jealous.”

“This sounds way too complicated, Kiera. We don’t even know if Gibbs likes men, never mind Tony specifically.”

“I was watching him today and he could barely take his eyes off Tony, even with me sitting right next to you. I mean sure, he stared at me and you too, but I could tell he had to tear his eyes away from Tony to look at us.”

“You think?”

“Oh yeah. You and Abby needed an outsider’s eye maybe to spot this.”

McGee sighed. “Well, don’t say anything to Tony about this because it’ll just break him even more.”

“Yeah,” she said sadly.

“But maybe we can go out with Abby and you can tell her your theory.”

Kiera perked up after that. “Your workplace is way more exciting than mine,” she told him.

“I liked it better when it was boring and all I had to worry about was not throwing up on evidence at the crime scene, and not getting superglued to my chair or something,” McGee grumbled.

“I repeat, your workplace is way more exciting than mine! I _never_ have to worry about superglue!”

“I don’t anymore either,” McGee pouted. “Shit. The old work Tony would never let me live down the fact that I miss being superglued to things. But it’s seriously way better than polite regulation following work Tony any day.”

“I’m sorry babe,” Kiera hugged him and brushed her lips on his jaw.

McGee pulled her tight against him and kissed her.

\--------------------------------------------

Even though Kiera got Abby all excited about the idea that perhaps Gibbs had been jealous of McGee and the apparent sexual relationship that McGee was supposedly having with Tony at the time of the incident, it turned out that there really wasn’t anything that they could actually do. Gibbs was as tight lipped as ever, perhaps even more so since Tony was no longer chatting away and drawing him out of his shell at times. And Tony had stopped flirting and joking with anyone at work. Completely. Not the mail person, not the secretarial pool, not the baggie bunnies and certainly not Gibbs. McGee found himself being taken aside and questioned by many different groups of people.

Was Tony feeling OK? Was he sick? Was it a prank? Did he sustain a serious head injury that changed his entire personality? What the hell was wrong with Tony? And all McGee could do was shrug and shake his head, feigning innocence.

Tony was marginally friendlier towards McGee at work than he was with anyone else on the team. He didn’t even openly hug Abby or kiss her anymore, although he continued to ply her with caf pow. The hugs and kisses he saved for after work, where he liberally bestowed them to her. Abby, for her part, had completely taken Tony’s side in the whole thing with Gibbs. She was still not accepting drinks or hugs or kisses from Gibbs. Even though Tony had assured her that it wouldn’t upset him for Abby to resume her normal relationship with Gibbs, Abby was staunchly sticking by Tony. Privately, McGee wondered if it had been the statement Tony had said about Abby – that Gibbs could even think that Tony and Abby had had sex, and that had been the only reason that Abby would be such good friends with him – if that statement had been the last straw for Abby. It was one thing to generally call Tony a whore, but it was a whole other thing if Gibbs’ assumptions about Tony called into question the close friendship that Abby and Tony enjoyed. Not that Gibbs had directly questioned their friendship, but then he had questioned all of Tony’s friendships which meant that he had included Abby in that blanket statement. While Abby and Tony flirted outrageously, and still did so after work and outside of NCIS, McGee had heard from both of them that they had never gone down the sex route. It had been a distinct possibility in the beginning, when Tony had first started working at NCIS. But after they had hung out a few times, it became obvious that their relationship was destined to be completely platonic. For one thing, McGee knew that Tony had fallen head over heels in love with Gibbs, pretty much from when Gibbs recruited him from the Baltimore PD. For another, Tony and Abby got along almost too well, and they bonded over their admiration for Gibbs. The way Abby told it though, was that she and Tony missed their window. They had to have slept together within the first week or two of Tony’s employment at NCIS, and since they didn’t they had very quickly moved into the friend zone. And neither of them regretted it.

But anyway, the MCRT was chugging along, trying to figure out the new team dynamics now that Tony had stopped being the convenient scapegoat and offering himself up to be abused so the team would work together better. And everyone felt it. Gibbs was grumpier and had no outlet. Kate was grumpier and had no outlet. McGee was still upset at both Gibbs and Kate, and he had no outlet either, not that he technically had had an outlet to begin with. He was the probie, after all. But these days, he seemed to be angrier than he used to be. And Tony? And Tony was the walking NCIS regulations source. A veritable dictionary of NCIS regulations, and a stickler for them. The team was definitely in a state of upheaval and McGee didn’t know how long they would be able to sustain this.

One day, while he and Tony were in the NCIS garage, unloading evidence bags from the truck, Director Morrow himself stopped them both.

“Agent DiNozzo,” Morrow gave the Senior Field Agent a smile. “Tony. Just the man I wanted to talk to.”

“Oh, well, I’ll see you later,” McGee mumbled to his friend. “Director,” he nodded to the man, trying not to stutter or stumble as he started to move away. But Tony’s hand shot out and he grabbed McGee’s wrist.

“How can I help you, sir?” Tony asked Morrow, using that flat, polite, monotone that he had been speaking in for weeks on end now.

Morrow saw Tony’s hand clamped on McGee’s wrist, and McGee knew that his own expression had to be somewhere between horror and panic. But McGee could also see that even though Tony looked like he was perfectly calm, the pulse in his throat was racing. He was starting to panic. And for some reason, that calmed McGee down somewhat and he stopped trying to leave. Instead he moved back to Tony’s side and planted himself there like a pole and gave Morrow a pained grimace.

“What’s going on with the MCRT, Tony?” Morrow started without preamble.

“Has there been a formal complaint?” Tony asked.

“No, of course not. Your solve rate has gone back to its usual since you came back from your extended vacation, but…”

“You told me that HR needed for me to take more time off,” Tony reminded him.

“Oh, no no. Of course, you did the right thing taking all that time off. HR tells me you’re only partially backlogged now.”

Tony nodded. “But there is a problem?” he asked. His grip on McGee’s wrist tightened involuntarily.

“Not a problem, per se,” Morrow gave him a searching look. “Mostly, concern has been expressed to me.”

“Concern?” Tony frowned. “Have we not been adhering to NCIS regulations?”

“You _have_ ,” Morrow blew out a breath. “The MCRT has been exceptionally well behaved. I haven’t had even one complaint from Metro, or the FBI, or anyone at NCIS.”

“Then I fail to see the cause for concern.”

“The concern has been expressed over you, DiNozzo!” Morrow gritted out.

“Me? I’m perfectly fine,” Tony looked puzzled.

Morrow sighed. “DiNozzo. Tony. Everyone has come to me about how you’re not acting like yourself.”

Tony pursed his lips. “I’m just ensuring that the MCRT conducts itself professionally, and behaves in accordance to all NCIS regulations,” he said, keeping his expression blank, although McGee could see the storm brewing in Tony’s eyes. “That is one of the primary functions of a Senior Field Agent.”

“Of course it is,” Morrow agreed. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re… not yourself anymore.”

“I’ve incorporated feedback from my team members and adjusted my behavior as instructed.”

Morrow sighed again. “Did you and Gibbs have an argument, son?”

Tony stared at him, finally at a loss for words. “Why?” he asked, his tone suspicious now. “Because of course, it was my fault if something like that happened?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all,” Morrow shook his head. “God, you’re pricklier than a cactus.”

Tony was visibly trying to wrestle his emotions and go back to the calm, dispassionate person that he had been projecting for weeks. “It won’t happen again, sir,” he managed to say, back in that monotone.

“Don’t get all Stepford Wives on me, DiNozzo,” Morrow sighed.

Tony just stared at him blankly. McGee wanted so much to see the old Tony, the one that would have crowed and cheered at Morrow stooping to movie references to try to connect to him, but this Tony just stood like a plank.

“This can’t be healthy for you,” Morrow told him, openly concerned now.

Tony blinked at him.

“I also heard that you took a lunch meeting with several Assistant Directors of the FBI?” Morrow threw out. McGee stared at Tony in shock.

“What? Tony? Really?” he choked out.

Tony blinked again, although he paled a little.

“Are you looking to leave NCIS, DiNozzo?” Morrow asked.

“It’s been almost four years,” Tony told him. “Twice as long as I’ve stayed at my previous positions.”

“I thought you were happy here?”

“I was operating under some false assumptions,” Tony bit out. And McGee saw that Tony’s eyes had filled with tears.

“Whatever the hell Gibbs said to you, you know he didn’t mean it right?” Morrow was gentle now.

“I find that Gibbs is at his most honest when he’s angry,” Tony turned his eyes down. “Besides, he’s got a great team behind him now. I’m just in the way. Dead weight.”

“What the hell did he say to you, son?” Morrow wanted to know. “You can’t possibly think you’re dead weight.”

Tony raised his chin, his jaw set. “Is there anything else, sir?”

Morrow stared at him for a long moment before he sighed again, as if making a decision. “Would you consider staying if Gibbs apologized to you?”

“Rule #6, sir. Apologies are a sign of weakness,” Tony recited.

He was right, McGee thought. Gibbs would never apologize. And even if he did, McGee would always wonder if it was because Morrow told him to. And if McGee thought that, then there was no way Tony wouldn’t have thought that too.

Morrow rubbed his face tiredly. “Well, if you can’t work with Gibbs anymore, what if I transferred you? So you won’t have to work with Gibbs, but you would stay within the agency. I can figure something out and talk to you about other options later?”

Tony bit his bottom lip before he shrugged. “It would depend on the offer,” he finally said.

“Good. Give me a chance to talk to HR and some other people and then we can sit down and have a serious discussion about your future here at NCIS? Because I want you to have a future at NCIS, DiNozzo.”

Tony nodded. “OK.”

“Good man.” Morrow patted Tony’s shoulder, gave him a long look, then nodded at McGee, whose wrist Tony was still clinging to before he walked away.

When Morrow was out of sight, Tony blew out a breath and staggered, almost falling over as his knees started to buckle, and McGee steered him to a bench. They sat, McGee’s arm around Tony’s shoulder while Tony just sat, keeping his head down and focusing on breathing.

“You OK?” McGee finally asked.

Tony nodded. “I’m fine,” he breathed softly and rubbing his temples. “Shit. We better get this evidence checked in and head up to the bullpen.”

“You didn’t tell me you were looking to leave, Tony.”

Tony rubbed his face. “The team can’t continue like this,” he pursed his lips. “I can’t go on like this. I dread coming to work. And I look in the mirror and hate myself a little more every day. I can’t wait for work to be over so I can be me again. I just hate this so much.”

McGee rubbed Tony’s back, watching as Tony tiredly kept rubbing his forehead. “You want to take the rest of the afternoon off? Maybe Samuel can come pick you up? This case looks open and shut anyway. Ducky’s pretty sure it’s a suicide. Morrow’s certainly not going to make a fuss since he’s the one who upset you, anyway.” Tony had been seeing Samuel somewhat regularly lately. Regular enough for Abby to have taken him aside to give him the shovel talk. Which was why McGee thought Tony might be OK with Samuel picking him up.

Tony sighed before he nodded. “OK,” he said. And of course, because Tony now adhered to NCIS regulations, he called Ducky for a formal note to take the afternoon off. Ducky was concerned – apparently Tony had a history of migraines, a new thing for McGee to learn about his friend – and immediately gave him the rest of the day off. And to call him if he was still feeling poorly in the morning.

McGee called Samuel and said that Tony wasn’t feeling well and needed to be picked up, and the man told them he would be there shortly. Tony and McGee finished checking in the evidence and Tony told McGee to go back to the bullpen and that he would stay to clean and restock the truck.

“That’s usually the job of the junior agent,” McGee objected. This was actually part of NCIS regulation as it was also a form of training for the junior agents.

“It’s fine. If Gibbs says anything tell him I wanted to do the weekly inventory,” Tony told him.

McGee didn’t want to leave Tony alone, but he had no choice. He could tell that Tony needed to get his head back together and needed some time to himself, and well, the weekly inventory was the Senior Field Agent’s responsibility. He could even quote the exact number and sub clause of that regulation since Tony had become the NCIS regulations manual incarnate. So he nodded and left. When he showed up at the bullpen alone, Gibbs frowned.

“Where’s DiNozzo?”

“He’s doing the truck weekly inventory,” McGee told him as he sat down. “Evidence is all checked in.”

Gibbs scowled but he didn’t question McGee. Tony came back about a half hour later, and at about the same time, Ducky came up to inform them that he and Palmer had confirmed that it was a suicide. No further investigation would be needed. By this time, Tony was looking a little pale. He probably did have a headache and maybe was starting a migraine, McGee thought sympathetically. He knew _he_ definitely had a headache, and he’d only been a reluctant bystander in that conversation with Morrow.

Ducky clucked at Tony in concern. “You do appear quite peaky, Anthony,” he murmured. “Do you have your medication on you?”

Tony nodded silently.

“Have you taken some?”

Tony nodded again.

“What’s wrong with Tony?” Kate asked.

“Nothing that an afternoon of rest won’t cure,” Ducky told her airily.

McGee was checking his watch, wondering when Samuel would call to say he was there and Tony could leave. He kept wondering now whether Tony was sleeping well, if he dreaded coming to work so much. Maybe Tony did need to leave the team, even though McGee desperately wanted to continue to work with him. Maybe it wasn’t going to be possible. But at least he knew that he and Tony and Abby were close enough friends now that he wouldn’t lose a friend, just a co-worker. And that was OK. Tony deserved to be happy, and deserved to not have to face Gibbs on a daily basis, and cope with that by refusing to be himself.

The elevator dinged, and Abby came over, draped on Samuel’s arm, waving a caf pow in her hand as she talked.

“Look who I found downstairs!” she chirped brightly.

Samuel was dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans, work boots, one of his ubiquitous Henleys and a jacket. Tony’s face brightened when he saw him and he broke into a shy smile.

“Heard you were being sent home for bad behavior, Tony. Come on, your chariot awaits,” Samuel joked, smiling at him. “Hi, Tim,” he greeted McGee.

“Hi, Samuel,” McGee smiled back.

Samuel nodded a greeting to Gibbs and Kate before turning his attention back to Tony. Tony gave Gibbs a cursory glance before he packed his backpack and grabbed his badge and gun. Abby chattered away to Samuel, and introduced him to Ducky while Tony got his things together. McGee could see that Kate and Gibbs were both scrutinizing Samuel, and when the older man helped Tony into his jacket and zipped it up for him, Gibbs’ expression darkened and Kate’s was confused. McGee had to bite back a snicker when Ducky urged Samuel to make sure Tony went straight to bed. And like Tony always did in Samuel’s presence, he blushed at that, and Samuel’s blue eyes were twinkling when he assured the elderly ME that he could definitely be trusted to get Tony into bed. Tony’s face was red and for the first time in forever, he gave someone a flirtatious glance while at work, aiming it at Samuel. Samuel caught the look and smiled.

“I meant to _rest_ ,” Ducky grinned back.

Samuel winked a naughty wink at Ducky, and kissed Abby goodbye, but he took Tony’s backpack from him and kept a hand on the small of Tony’s back as they walked to the elevator. Kate was staring at them, mouth open and Ducky smiled and waved. When they disappeared, Ducky rubbed his hands together and tendered the bullpen a pleased smile, his blue eyes twinkling as he took in Kate and Gibbs who seemed to be shocked into silence.

“I think young Anthony is in good hands,” he declared. “I’m off to Autopsy.” And he disappeared without another word.

“Come buy me a caf pow, Timmy!” Abby turned puppy dog eyes to McGee, who in turn gave Gibbs a questioning look. Gibbs jerked his head in assent, and McGee jumped up and Abby latched on to his arm and continued to chatter away.

Abby dragged McGee down to Autopsy where she cornered Ducky.

“We need to talk,” she told Ducky, all traces of playfulness gone now.

“I assume you are here about Anthony’s young man?” Ducky smiled.

McGee suppressed a grin. Samuel was in his early forties, and only Ducky would get away with calling him Tony’s ‘young man’.

“I thought he was quite delightful,” Ducky continued.

“Oh, he is,” Abby agreed. “I’ve run a background check on him and everything. We hang out with them sometimes. Samuel’s not the problem.”

“Ah,” Ducky sighed and seated himself. “This is to discuss the rift between Anthony, and by default yourself and Timothy, and Jethro.”

Abby sighed. “Sort of,” she hedged. “Tony is thinking of leaving NCIS. I heard from one of the forensic techs that he had lunch with the FBI.”

McGee nodded. “It’s true.”

“What did you hear, Timmy?” Abby turned to him.

“I was there when Director Morrow asked him about it today. Tony confirmed it. He’s looking to leave.”

“What? Oh my god!” Abby stared at him. “This is more serious than I thought.”

“Perhaps it would be best for him to remove himself from the source of his unhappiness,” Ducky said softly.

Abby and McGee stared at Ducky. “What are you saying?” Abby asked suspiciously.

Ducky sighed and rubbed his face. “I am not blind, my dear Abigail,” he started. “I deduced Anthony’s feelings for Jethro some time ago, and I am aware that Jethro said some terribly hurtful things to him before he went on his… bender.”

“It doesn’t mean Tony has to leave NCIS,” Abby’s eyes teared up.

“But he is so unhappy now,” Ducky said gently. “He is giving himself migraines brought on by stress. I have not seen him happy in a long time. At least until he smiled at his young man today. For that alone, Samuel is in my good books.”

McGee ran his fingers through his hair. “Morrow doesn’t want to lose him either. He even tried to tell Tony that Gibbs didn’t mean whatever it was he said but Tony isn’t budging on that. But Morrow understands that Tony can’t work with Gibbs anymore. He’s going to find a solution to this that doesn’t involve Tony going to work for the FBI.”

“He is wise,” Ducky approved.

“Tony can’t leave the MCRT!” Abby wailed.

“But he’s so sad all the time now,” McGee said in a small voice. “After Morrow left, he told me that he hates himself a little more every day that he has to be like this. You know it’s not Tony, this robot with no emotions and who’s all about sticking to the regs, Abs. He doesn’t deserve this. As much as I don’t want to stop working with Tony, essentially, I stopped working with _our_ Tony ever since he came back from that ‘vacation’ he took.”

Abby pulled at her pigtails. “I guess you’re right. He deserves better.”

“Director Morrow will find him somewhere that will make him happier,” Ducky nodded, as if it was already decided.

“Besides, if he stays with NCIS, then we’ll still get to see him and work with him sometimes,” McGee added.

“OK,” Abby nodded reluctantly.

“And maybe we’ll get to see our Tony at work again, right? And not just when we get him outside of work?” McGee put his arm around Abby.

“Yeah. That would be nice,” Abby sounded more convinced now.

“Can you tell me what it was Jethro said to him that has brought about such drastic blowback?” Ducky asked.

Abby and McGee stared at him, eyes wide, both of them shaking their heads. “It’s not our story to tell,” McGee said.

“But it was really bad, Ducky. Really bad,” Abby put in. “We’re lucky Tony didn’t just quit that night. I’m not sure I would have come back to work here if I were him.”

Ducky sighed. “And I assume Jethro has not apologized?”

The two friends shook their heads again.

“I am happy to hear you are still seeing _our_ Anthony outside of work,” Ducky smiled at them. “I fear I miss him terribly.”

“You should come out for drinks with us one of these night!” Abby told him. “He’s still just as much fun as he used to be. He just can’t be that at work anymore.”

Ducky nodded. “I believe I will take you up on that offer. But not tonight as he should rest tonight. Despite what Samuel hinted at.”

Abby grinned. “Did you see Kate’s face when Samuel said that?” she giggled. “That girl has no idea what she’s missing.”


	9. Chapter 9

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

Later that day, Kate trapped McGee in the elevator again, just the two of them, trying to grill him for information. About Tony. About Samuel. About the rumors that Tony was quitting.

“Quit pretending you know nothing and spill, McGee,” she urged him. “You know what the hell is going on between Tony and Gibbs, and you knew Samuel, whoever the hell he is. So. Why are random men coming to pick Tony up, and what’s this I heard about Tony talking to the FBI about a job?”

McGee shrugged and tried to look puzzled.

“Oh, don’t even try…” Kate huffed. “Come on, McGee. Tony’s my teammate too. What the fuck is going on? The way Tony used to be around Gibbs, you’d think he would have the man’s baby if he asked him to do it. I was so sure I’d be cold and dead before Tony even thought about leaving NCIS. So, what gives?”

McGee shrugged his shoulders again.

“And don’t even try to tell me that Samuel is one of his frat brothers because that man is in no way a frat boy or even a former frat boy. Who is he? And why was Tony all… whatever the hell he was around him?”

McGee shrugged yet again.

“Goddamn it! What happened between Tony and Gibbs? That night after I left. Right? You guys ordered Chinese. Then what happened?”

That irritated McGee. “You were the one who went and told Gibbs that you thought Tony was brainwashing me,” he snarled.

“What?” Kate looked shocked. “It was a _joke!_ I didn’t mean it. Of course I didn’t. I only said it in passing to Gibbs. It wasn’t like I had a conversation with him about you being brainwashed. Why would I? It’s Gibbs! It’s not like he has ‘conversations’ with any of us!”

“Well, Gibbs took that and ran with it. And he came to some very incorrect conclusions, and he said some terrible things to Tony.”

“ _What_ did he say that was so terrible? I don’t understand!”

McGee slammed the elevator back to ‘on’ and stared at the door. “Never mind.”

“Come on, McGee! Tony’s _my_ friend, too!” Kate slapped her hand back on the switch to turn it back off. “I’ve known him longer than you have!”

McGee glared at her.

“Shit, McGee. What could Gibbs have said to Tony that was so awful, based on something I mentioned to him as a joking a side?” Kate looked genuinely distraught. “What was so awful that Tony ran away for weeks and came back all fucked up? Pod Tony?”

McGee sighed. “Just take my word for it – that it was really bad. I can’t talk about it. And I don’t want even more rumors spreading. I think Tony’s been hurt enough by all this.”

“What did Gibbs say?” Kate wouldn’t give up.

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about it much longer,” McGee switched the elevator back on.

“Tony _is_ leaving us, isn’t he?” Kate was distressed.

“Maybe,” McGee grimaced.

“Fuck!”

McGee nodded.

“What can we do to make him stay? I can adhere to all of the regs and I won’t complain or give him a hard time. Ever,” Kate tried.

“It might be best for Tony to move on. For his own sanity,” McGee had to say it.

“It was _that bad_ , whatever Gibbs said?”

McGee nodded. It had been awful. And since Tony had been secretly in love with Gibbs the whole time, it made it infinitely worse.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened and the conversation was over.

\-------------------------------

In the morning, McGee was walking up to the main entrance of their building when a pickup truck pulled up right in front. McGee watched as Tony, who had sunglasses on despite the fact that it was an overcast morning, leaned over and kissed Samuel smack on the lips. It wasn’t an all out fuck me, tonsil swallowing kiss, but it wasn’t a perfunctory peck either. There was a soft tenderness to the kiss, and as Tony turned towards his door, Samuel pulled him back for another tender kiss. Tony was blushing furiously when he climbed out of the truck and shut the door.

McGee waved to Samuel who beeped his horn and waved as he drove off.

“I guess that’s going well,” McGee elbowed Tony, who blushed even more. “You really like him, huh?”

Tony shrugged, but he couldn’t stop the smile or the blush.

“You OK with people here knowing though? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who saw you,” McGee was suddenly serious.

“I don’t give a shit anymore, McGee,” Tony said wryly. “It’s not against NCIS regs, and it was before work. Anyone who has a problem with it can go ahead and sign up for FLETC refresher courses on political correctness and sensitivity.”

“OK.”

“Anyway, nothing happened last night,” Tony shrugged. “I did have a migraine and the meds knocked me out. Samuel just tucked me in bed as soon as we got to his place, and well… he just took care of me, McGee. Other than you and Abby, no one has ever done that for me.”

“Yeah?”

“It was nice. I liked it,” Tony started blushing again. “I don’t feel like he’s with me because he wants something from me. And that’s a nice feeling.”

“It is,” McGee agreed. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

“You feeling better this morning?”

“Much, but,” Tony gestured to the sunglasses. “Still have some sensitivity to light. So I’m going to keep these babies on for a little while.”

“Roger.”

By the time they walked into the elevator, Tony had put his work face on – the cold, aloof mask of professionalism. And after weeks of this, most people were afraid to talk to him anymore, or to kid around with him like they used to. Tony ignored all of the whispers about how Tony had kissed a man in a pickup truck right in front of the Navy Yard. Even though Gibbs sat and stared at Tony, who had kept the sunglasses on all morning, he said nothing to the man.

The first time that Gibbs left for coffee, Kate grabbed McGee’s arm and yanked him to an empty observation room. “Spill,” she demanded. “Samuel is not a frat buddy, and Samuel is not just a friend. I heard that Tony kissed him goodbye this morning, when the guy dropped him off. On the _lips_.”

McGee shrugged. “Can’t believe everything the rumor mill says.”

“Come _on!_ McGee! I know you know the guy. Is he Tony’s boyfriend? Does Tony have a fucking boyfriend? All this time he was hitting on women to hide the fact that he’s gay!” Kate was whispering furiously.

“Oh, he _still_ likes women. A _lot_ ,” McGee couldn’t help but say as suggestively as he could.

Kate whapped him on his upper arm. “So we lost Tony the pig and got Tony the pod person, and you’re taking over the pig position?”

McGee snickered at that one, and that made Kate laugh too.

“So Tony’s coming out with a boyfriend, then?”

McGee shrugged.

“Seriously? Tony? And some guy? I’m really finding it hard to believe.”

“Why?”

“I mean… it’s _Tony_. He doesn’t act like he’s interested in men! He can’t be gay! And that Samuel guy doesn’t look like he’s… you know?”

“Gay? Why? Because neither of them have a lisp or are flamboyant and fits a certain stereotype?”

Kate flushed with shame. “OK. You’re right. That was really… It’s really difficult to not bring my faith into this, you know? I was always raised to think that being gay was wrong.”

“Tony’s free to love whoever the hell he wants, and you should stop judging him,” McGee said shortly.

“I know…” Kate sighed.

“Is this going to be a problem?”

Kate stared at him, mouth opening and shutting a few times.

“It’s not going to go over well if it is,” McGee told her firmly. “You can keep your opinions to yourself and say nothing. Your faith is your business. Don’t make it our problem.”

Kate shook her head. She took a deep breath. “No. It’s my problem, obviously. Not Tony’s. Or anyone else’s.”

“Good.”

After a moment, Kate shook herself. “So. Really. Is this guy Tony’s boyfriend?”

McGee shrugged. “You’d have to ask him.”

“God!” Kate rolled her eyes, whapped McGee on the arm again, before she suddenly became serious. “It’s not Tony’s first boyfriend, is it? This guy isn’t preying on him, right?”

McGee laughed at the thought of Samuel preying on Tony, of all people. “No. Tony’s not being taken advantage of,” he shook his head.

“Seriously though, it looks like you know this guy of Tony’s. Is he good to him?”

McGee sighed. Kate was actually worried about Tony. He nodded. “Yeah. He’s a really good guy.”

“Have you run a background check on him?”

“Abby already did that. She ran his DNA too, just in case. It all checked out.”

Kate nodded. “Good. That’s something. Next time he comes around, introduce me.”

“He’s not _my_ boyfriend, Kate,” McGee whined. “You want an introduction, you make Tony do it.”

“While we’re on that subject, the next time your girlfriend comes around, introduce me properly. I can’t believe you let her waltz in and out of here and didn’t introduce her to the whole team! Were you raised in a barn?”

“Naval bases, actually,” McGee gave Kate a grin. “But I hear you. Roger.”

Kate punched his arm.

\------------------------------

A couple of weeks later, Kate had managed to wheedle her way into Abby’s good books and got herself invited out for drinks after work. So Abby, Kate and McGee were sitting at a bar when Kiera joined them, greeting McGee with a kiss and giving Abby a hug hello.

“I’m Kate,” Kate held out her hand.

“Kiera,” the dark haired woman smiled and shook hands. “Where’s your other partner in crime?”

“Tony had stupid boring paperwork to do tonight,” Abby pouted. “And since he’s all Mr Regulations now, he’s not going to postpone it till tomorrow.”

“Boo,” Kiera responded.

“I know. I need my Tony fix,” Abby whined. “I need my Tony hugs. And kisses.”

They were chattering away when Samuel slid into a seat next to Abby and kissed her cheek.

“What are you doing here?” Abby asked. “Did Tony ask you to come in his place?”

Samuel checked his watch. “He told me to meet him and you all here tonight. Seven thirty… oh sorry, 1930,” he corrected himself to military time and rolled his eyes. “Why?”

“He’s stuck doing paperwork.”

Samuel pulled his phone out. No text messages or missed calls. “Huh,” he shrugged. “Well, I guess I’ll get going then.”

“No! You came all this way. Have a few drinks with us,” Abby beseeched him with her eyes.

“God damn it. Has anyone ever in the history of the world, ever resisted you with your puppy dog eyes?” Samuel laughed, settling in. Abby gave him a triumphant grin.

“I’m Kate,” Kate stood and offered her hand across the table.

Samuel gazed at her, weighing her for a moment before he took her hand. “Samuel.”

“We weren’t officially introduced the other day.”

“I had orders to take Tony home,” he said carefully.

“I know,” Kate told him. “It’s good to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

They were on their second round of drinks together when a tired looking Tony arrived and was greeted with surprise and joy. “Sorry I’m late,” he told Samuel.

“Paperwork. I heard,” Samuel smiled at him. “We didn’t think you were coming.”

Tony shrugged. “Didn’t think I was going to make it tonight but it’s done. Kate,” he noticed the brown eyed agent sitting there and watching him intently. “I definitely didn’t know _you_ were coming.”

“Is it a problem I’m here?” Kate asked, eyes sad.

Tony gave her a small smile and shook his head. “It’s fine.” He gave Samuel a big smile and leaned down to kiss him. “Hey, you,” he said, and McGee watched as Tony blushed when Samuel replied with a soft “hey” and pulled him in for another kiss. After that, he suddenly whipped his head to Kate. “We’re not going to have a problem with this, are we?” he asked sharply.

Kate shook her head vehemently, eyes as wide as saucers. “No problems,” she immediately assured him. “None at all.”

Tony nodded and they all moved so he could fit a chair at the table next to Samuel. He sighed as he sat and stretched his neck from side to side, and Samuel’s hand immediately came up and began kneading the back of his neck. Tony dropped his head with a quiet sigh.

“Hard day, babe?” Samuel asked.

“Same old,” Tony groaned and stretched his neck as Samuel continued to knead the knotted muscles that he could feel. “How was your day?”

Samuel launched into a funny story about the discussion he had had with someone who wanted to hire him to accurately restore his house but somehow never got the message that chrome was not at all a 19th Century building material. The evening went about usual for them, even with the addition of Kate. McGee could see Kate staring at Tony at least half of the time, and he couldn’t tell if it was because Tony was being openly affectionate with Samuel, or if she just hadn’t seen this Tony, the sly, naughty, movie-quoting, fun loving guy in so long that she’d forgotten what he was really like. But she kept her cool and didn’t upset Tony or Abby so it seemed to be going well. They decided to have dinner together, which they did together fairly often. At the restaurant, Abby made sure she was sitting at Tony’s side so he could give her her backlog of daily hugs and kisses, and Samuel was on Tony’s other side. Somehow the conversation had turned to anal sex.

“That part I just don’t get,” Kate made a face. “No offense, Samuel.”

“None taken,” Samuel grinned at her.

“It takes a lot of prep,” Abby shrugged. “But it can be good if done well.”

“Abby?” Kate gave her a surprised look.

“Hey, it’s an orifice. It has its own charms,” Abby grinned naughtily at her. “I’m not that worried about what people think. If it feels good, do it. Although of course women don’t have a prostate to nail so it probably doesn’t feel as good for us.”

“I’ve read about women fucking their boyfriends with strap ons,” Kiera mentioned.

“I sometimes let a woman peg me,” Tony volunteered. “I have to know her, of course, because I wouldn’t fool around with just anyone, at least not like that. I don’t need another uncomfortable ER trip and a fucked up explanation. But yeah, some women get off on doing the fucking.”

“What?” Kate wrinkled her nose. “ _Women_ do that?” she exclaimed.

At the same time, McGee exclaimed, “ _Another_ uncomfortable ER trip? How many of these do you have under your belt, Tony?”

Tony kicked McGee under the table, giving him a fond grin.

“Strap ons,” Abby nodded sagely. “They’re the best. I once tried this double sided strap on thing, so I was fucking this chick as I was fucking myself. It was go-o-od,” she licked her lips.

Kate slapped a hand on her face, blushing furiously.

“How about you, McGee?” Abby turned to him. “Any anal sex experience you want to share with us?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Never tried it. Giving or… receiving.”

Kiera gave him a thoughtful glance. “You want to maybe try it sometime?”

“No! Maybe! I don’t know!” It was McGee’s turn to blush now.

Tony and Abby were giggling at that.

“Maybe Kiera can start off with a finger in McGee’s ass during a blow job,” Samuel told them, grinning. “It’s a great introduction to anal sex.”

“Yeah. Find his prostate and he’ll come like a freight train,” Tony agreed.

McGee had been taking a sip of his drink at that point and began coughing hard. Tony and Abby giggled even harder.

“Or if you need a tutorial, I’m sure Tony doesn’t mind us having an audience,” Samuel offered.

“Oh, oh! I want to watch! Me! Me!” Abby raised her hand, while Tony started coughing and blushing next. “That would be so hot!”

They were all laughing now. Later, when Kiera excused herself for the ladies’ room, Abby and Kate instantly jumped up to go with her.

“What is it with women and the whole social aspect of going to the bathroom?” Tony mused. “Why do women have to pee in a herd?”

“It’s because we don’t have to stand around and watch each other’s dicks to go pee,” Abby stuck her tongue out. “Although I suppose that’s not a hardship for you, Tony.”

“There are some guys who should _always_ use a stall,” Tony shuddered dramatically.

Abby punched his arm in response. McGee stood, too. “Gonna hit the rest room too.”

“Timmy’s a gi-i-i-i-i-r-r-l-l,” Tony sing songed. “Hitting the ladies room with the ladies.”

“Fuck you,” McGee flipped him the bird and rolled his eyes, smiling at the sheer Tony-ness of the remark.

Afterwards, McGee walked back to their table with the girls, and Tony was locking lips with Samuel. It was definitely more of a tonsil swallowing, tongue sucking, fuck me sort of kiss now.

“Welp, looks like we’re moving on to the dessert course,” Abby announced as she plunked herself back down.

Tony tried to spring back from Samuel, blushing furiously, but the older man kept his arm around Tony and gave him a chaste peck on the lips, smiling at him, rubbing a thumb down his cheekbone.

“I think Tony would probably spontaneously combust if you guys had an audience,” Kiera giggled. “Look at him, blushing away just from kissing.”

Tony threw a half of a breadstick at Kiera and stuck his tongue out at her. “See if I ever let you watch us have sex now,” he taunted her.

“There’s something called the internet, you know. Maybe you’ve heard of it? I hear it’s got a ton of porn on it. Even – gasp! – porn of the gay variety!” Kiera teased back. “Oh, Tim. We should totally check that out.”

McGee nodded and blushed.

“Hey, now that Abby mentioned dessert, who’s going to split the tiramisu with me?” Tony was looking at the dessert menu. “McGee and Kiera can enjoy that kind of a dessert later,” he finished, winking at them. “I can even recommend some websites, if you’re serious about trying anal sex.”

Both Kate and McGee choked on their drinks at that, and were coughing while they ordered dessert.

The next morning, McGee and Kate were walking up to the building, having arrived at about the same time, and Tony was being dropped off again. They both watched as Tony gave Samuel a smiling, exuberant kiss before he hopped out of the pickup and slammed the door shut. Samuel beeped his horn and waved to McGee and Kate, too, as he drove away.

“Good morning,” McGee greeted him, taking in the bright eyes and the pleased smile. It was definitely his ‘I just had sex’ smile. Apparently Tony and Samuel had also had their own dessert after dinner together.

Tony turned his smile on McGee and Kate and wished them both a good morning as they walked into the building. McGee watched as Tony gradually shed the layers of the Tony that they knew and loved, and by the time they were in the elevator he was back to regulations dickhead Tony. He sighed.

“Hey, Tony?” Kate said hesitantly.

Tony turned cool green eyes at her. “Yes?”

“It was really nice to see you being you last night,” she stammered a little. “I’ve really missed you.”

“We are at work, Kate,” Tony told her coolly. But then he blushed. “But thanks. I missed you, too.”

It was the only crack in his armor, though, and for the rest of the day he was back to Mr Stickler.

A few days later, Tony was called into a meeting with Director Morrow, one where Gibbs was not invited. It lasted an hour, during which time Gibbs growled and bitched and yelled, and Kate and McGee were jumping to obey his orders for fear of the threat of Gibbs’ full anger. Both McGee and Kate could tell that this was that last straw, Tony sitting in a meeting with Morrow. Alone.

When Tony finally came down the stairs and walked into the bullpen, his face was flushed, and his eyes were dancing with excitement. He battened it down though, and McGee could almost see Tony flipping the switch to turn back into automaton Tony. AutomaTony! He would have to remember to tell Abby this later. But even so, Tony’s green eyes continued to dance and not even Tony’s iron control could make them stop. Whatever it was he and Morrow discussed, it was apparently something he liked.

McGee caught Tony’s eye as the Senior Field Agent was settling back in behind his desk. He raised an eyebrow and gave him a thumbs up that wavered left and right. Good news? Bad news?

Tony gave him a slight nod, and the corner of his lips quirked up a tiny bit.

McGee gave him a firm thumbs up and a questioning brow. Good news?

Tony nodded again, the pleased smile tugging at his lips. McGee nodded and looked away, understanding that Tony would tell him later. After work. Because this was time for work and AutomaTony would never let anyone get away with shirking, no matter how big their news might be.

“So?” Gibbs barked. “What did Morrow want, DiNozzo?”

Tony’s head whipped up and immediately his green eyes went from dancing happily to being dark with anger. “I’m sure _the Director_ will inform my team lead when you need to know, sir,” he replied blandly, placing emphasis on the fact that Morrow was the Director and above Gibbs.

Gibbs glared at him. “I don’t appreciate Morrow taking you off the case for an hour with no explanation,” he growled.

“Why? Did you think I was servicing him for an hour, by chance?” Tony bit out. “I assure you, his assistant was in the room with us, taking notes, the entire time. I wasn’t given the opportunity to work my charms on him. Although of course, I could have included her in as a threesome. That _is_ the sort of thing that I would do, isn’t it, _sir?_ ”

Kate squeaked in shock as Tony glared at Gibbs before he turned back to his computer screen, nostrils flaring as he started breathing hard. “I suggest we turn our attention back to the case,” he said without even looking at Gibbs.

Before the team lead could respond, his phone rang. “Gibbs,” he answered angrily. “Yes, sir. I’ll be right there.”

Gibbs stood, glared at Tony who gazed at him with a perfectly bored expression, and the team lead stomped up the stairs, mumbling under his breath. When Gibbs had disappeared into the Director’s office, Kate stood up.

“Tony?” she whispered. “What just happened?”

“Nothing, Agent Todd,” Tony gave her that professionally bland tone.

“Tony! Is _that_ what he accused you of? Trading sexual favors at work?” she kept whispering, hands covering her mouth.

Tony looked up and gave her a quiet look. “We have a case to solve, Agent Todd. Anything not case related can wait until _later_.”

“Fuck, Tony. _That’s_ what he accused you of?” Kate couldn’t seem to help herself. “But why? What does it have to do with how you supposedly brainwashed McGee?”

McGee could hardly stop himself from smacking himself in the face. He kept watching as the truth dawned on Kate, and she paled dramatically.

“Oh my god,” she breathed. “He accused you of having sex with McGee? To brainwash him?”

Tony sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them and gave Kate a stern look.

“I never even thought of that possibility until now! I didn’t say that to Gibbs! At all! I.. Oh my god, Tony!”

“Work. On. The. Case,” he gritted out.

Kate slid down heavily into her chair, and stared at McGee in horror. Her lips were moving but McGee couldn’t hear the words, but she was forming the words so clearly that he could lip read it. She was repeating “oh my god, oh my god” over and over again.

And when Gibbs came storming back into the bullpen later, Tony calmly stood and informed him of the lead he had found on the case, and the team went full tilt back to working the case, even though McGee caught Kate staring at Gibbs in horror and what looked like disappointment at times.

Kate managed to corner McGee in the elevator alone for a couple of minutes. “Why didn’t you tell me this was what Gibbs accused him of?” she hissed. “I can’t believe he took me seriously! I complain about you and Tony all the time to everyone who will listen! It doesn’t mean anything!”

McGee shrugged.

She groaned in frustration. “Is Tony mad at me, McGee?”

McGee shook his head. “He’s just mad at Gibbs. I’m kind of mad at you, though.”

Kate gave him a sad look at that. “I can’t believe Gibbs would think that Tony would do that to you! Or to anyone, for that matter!” Kate wailed. “I can’t believe it! It’s Tony!”

“I know,” McGee sighed.

“Shit,” Kate sighed. “What a mess.”

McGee nodded in agreement. Kate slapped the elevator back on and sighed. “Any idea what’s going on with Morrow and Tony?”

McGee shook his head.

Suddenly, Kate slammed the off button again and the elevator whined and shuddered, protesting the violent treatment. “I just realized something!” she hissed.

“What? Come on, we need to get back to the bullpen before Gibbs tears our heads off!” McGee rolled his eyes.

“Samuel!”

“What about Samuel?”

“Oh my god! Samuel kind of looks like Gibbs!”

“Lots of people do.”

“Tony is dating a Gibbs lookalike!” she stared at McGee. “OK. You know what? I don’t want to think about what that might possibly mean. So forget I even said that. Just forget it. OK?”

McGee snickered and nodded and they finally made it to the bullpen and McGee could escape Kate’s scrutiny and questions.


	10. Chapter 10

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

That evening, McGee, Abby and Kate anxiously dragged Tony out to a bar to talk about his meeting with Morrow.

“Morrow wants me to start a Cold Case team,” Tony told them. “So field agents don’t need to divide their focus and work only on active and new cases. I would start a team dedicated only to Cold Cases.”

“You would be the team lead?” Abby asked anxiously.

Tony nodded. McGee was excited for Tony for the promotion and for the challenge of starting a whole new team. “Right now it would be just a team of one. Just me. But Morrow is giving me carte blanche to look at all of the agents applying for transfers or looking for change, and I can pick and choose two more people to join my team.”

“Oh my god! That is awesome!” Abby shrieked. “And you’ll still be based in DC?”

“Yeah. I told Morrow I wasn’t looking to move out of the city, necessarily,” Tony gave them all grateful smiled. “I have friends I care about here.”

“Good!” McGee thumped Tony on his back. “Hey… could I put in a transfer to work on your team?”

Tony sighed and rubbed his face. “Morrow told me no one was off limits,” he finally answered. “But for now, I think I can’t take you with me, Tim.”

McGee was starting to really hate it when Tony called him ‘Tim’. “Why not?” he whined.

“Well, first, the MCRT is still the best team at NCIS. You deserve to be on the best team. And you both can really learn a lot from Gibbs,” Tony gave Kate a grin. “Yes, even you Kate. And you know it.”

Kate gave him a mock glare, although McGee noticed that she hadn’t actually volunteered to be on Tony’s team.

“It’s true,” Tony said softly. “No. I think you two have to stay with Gibbs and keep the MCRT going strong with him.”

“Awwwww…” McGee pouted.

“It’s the best move for your career,” Tony assured him.

“Fuck my career.”

“No, you wanted to be on the best team in the MCRT and you’re there. So you have to stay there.”

“But who will take your place?” McGee asked. “Who’s even going to want to work with Gibbs, knowing that you left the team in this way.”

Tony shrugged. “Morrow says for now a TAD. But then Gibbs will probably pick someone to be the new SFA. Kate here doesn’t have enough experience for the job yet. And you’re still a probie, Probie.”

Kate and McGee sighed.

“Well, I’m happy,” Abby declared. “Cold cases usually mean a lot of re-running of evidence and DNA and looking at all of that kind of stuff. So I’ll still get to work with you a lot, Tony!”

Tony laughed at that. “This is true, Abs,” he agreed. “And now you can stop being so mad at Gibbs and you can start accepting caf pows again. Yes?”

Abby shook her head, her expression mutinous. “Not until he apologizes to you.”

“Gonna be a cold day in hell for that to happen, Abs,” Tony told her gently. “It’s fine. I’m OK. See? No harm done. Take the caf pows. I know that this whole thing has been hard on you, too.”

Abby sighed and nodded, even though she still looked unhappy. “I’ll think about it,” she mumbled.

“What if I’d rather learn from you,” McGee asked. “You have a ton of law enforcement experiences, too. And anyways, you’ve been the one who’s been training me. Not Gibbs. He’s pretty hands off. He just expects me to magically know everything.”

“Tim,” Tony grabbed his hand. “I do want to keep working with you. You have to know that. But I think it will be better for your career if you were to remain with the prestigious MCRT. And…”

“And what?” McGee knew he was pouting but he couldn’t help himself.

“And I know it’s not logical, but I feel like I need to build a team from scratch,” Tony said softly.

“What do you mean?” Kate frowned at him.

“I don’t want people to look at my team and if it ends up being a good team, having them say, ‘Well, he did take all of Gibbs’ people with him’, or something like that,” Tony was hesitant. “I need to step away from him. Fully. Even though I’ll still be at NCIS.”

Kate and McGee stared at him and McGee sighed and reluctantly had to agree. Tony’s logic was impeccable. If McGee or Kate transferred to his team, then Gibbs would still be the one given the credit for what Tony built.

“Do you know yet who you might ask to be on your team?” McGee asked sadly.

“No,” Tony shook his head. “I figure I’ll take my time and see who’s out there and who might want to work with me, and who might work well with me, you know? Morrow said that for now I could borrow people from other teams to back me up when I need to do stuff in the field.”

“OK,” McGee was inordinately glad that Tony didn’t immediately spout of a list of names of people he wished he could work with. It was nice that Tony didn’t already have substitutes for him in mind.

“And look, McGee. Kate, you too, if you like. If in a couple, three years, you still want to come work with me, apply for a transfer then and I’ll see what I can do at that time, OK? I figure my team might have to grow in a couple of years because Morrow wants it to be independent. And we’re to have jurisdiction over all NCIS cold cases. Not just DC cold cases, but NCIS worldwide.”

“Wow!” McGee’s eyes brightened.

“Yeah! I’m really excited about that part,” Tony agreed. “I mean, I wonder how many cases went cold because maybe it was done by the same perp in different jurisdictions? Naval and Marine personnel are transferred around a lot. Maybe I’ll be able to look at all of them and find some patterns in there that we couldn’t have possibly seen when just looking at DC cold cases.”

“That would be very cool,” Abby nodded.

They all nodded in agreement.

“Well, I know you’ll do a fucking awesome job, Tony,” Abby told him.

“Thanks,” Tony blushed and smiled back. “There was one condition though, to Morrow giving me this opportunity.”

“Condition? What is it?” McGee asked.

“Apparently, once I’ve transferred out of the MCRT, I can only keep the position if I drop the professional façade,” Tony grinned and shook his head. “I have to say that this is the first time that anyone I’ve worked for has ever requested that I be _less_ professional at work. It’s bizarre.”

“No more AutomaTony!” McGee cheered.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Seriously? That’s the best you can do? _AutomaTony?_ ” he jeered.

McGee kicked him under the table.

“Did Morrow give you a reason as to why this was a condition?” Kate asked.

“Apparently, people have been going to Morrow and he’s tired of hearing people asking if I need to see a mental health professional or if maybe I need a surgeon to remove the stick out of my ass,” Tony snickered.

“Little do they know it’s something else up your ass most days,” Abby giggled. “Some _one_ else.”

“It’s not like that’s a secret anymore,” Tony stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m just glad you’ll get to be Tony again,” Kate told him. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but I am. I’ve missed this… You. At work, I mean. And I’m sorry for playing a part in what Gibbs said to you. I’m truly, truly, sorry.”

Tony waved it away. “It’s not on you, Kate,” he told her. “He chose to hear it the way he wanted to hear things, and he made his own assumptions about me, and then chose to tell me about them. That’s on him.”

“I’m still sorry,” Kate said, eyes downcast.

“I appreciate it, Kate. But you know, I am definitely taking something valuable away from this whole experience,” Tony nodded. “The whole adhering strictly to regs might have been over the top, but it’s kind of good practice for me as a team lead. I mean, I know Morrow’s condition and all so I’ll still be me, but if I’m going to have people take me seriously as a team lead, then there’ll be time when I’m going to have to act more responsibly, and less like a goof. Maybe even a little Gibbs-like at times. But you know, I figure I can shoot to be a balance of still being recognizably me, but maybe with a dash of maturity and responsibility.”

McGee thought that that made a lot of sense. “When do you start your new position?” he asked.

“This is my last case with the team,” Tony said, and his face fell. McGee watched as Tony’s green eyes began filling with tears. “I transfer out either after the case is solved, or next Monday, if the case is solved earlier.”

They all sat in stunned silence for a moment, just taking it all in.

“It’s the end of an era,” McGee whispered.

“But the beginning of a new one!” Abby declared firmly. “To Tony! Soon to be the best Team Lead at NCIS!” she raised her glass, and McGee and Kate followed. Tony raised his beer and they clinked glasses and drank.

“To Tony’s promotion and new team! He deserves the best!” McGee raised his glass again, and he could see that Tony’s smile was wobbling a little as they drank to that.

“To you guys. The best friends a guy could ever ask for,” Tony toasted them back, eyes filling with tears, and they clinked glasses and drank again.

“What’s Samuel say about all this?” Abby asked.

“I uh, haven’t exactly told him yet,” Tony blushed when Abby mentioned Samuel.

“No?” Kate asked.

“Well, I just texted him to tell him I had good news, and that I’d tell him when I get home later,” Tony shrugged.

“When you get _home_ , later?” Abby said slyly. “Is there something you’re not telling us, Tony?”

“No! No, no, no. That’s not what I meant at all,” Tony backpedaled. “I meant when I get to his place later.”

Abby and McGee traded significant looks.

“Stop it,” Tony objected. “Don’t read more into this than there is!”

“Really?” Abby grinned impishly at him. “It’s good that you like him so much, Tony. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this around anyone.”

Tony sighed and rubbed his face. “I’m not ready for a real relationship,” he said softly. “It wouldn’t be fair to Samuel, what with all my baggage. He can do so much better than me.”

“Don’t you even say that,” Abby told him sternly.

“I can’t really focus on him, on us, right now, Abs,” Tony said tiredly. “Samuel knows what’s going on with me. He knows I have issues. I was brutally honest with him on our second date, but he keeps coming back. I don’t understand it. He should have run screaming early on.”

Abby took his arm and leaned her head against it. “If he’s the right one, then he’ll wait for you to be ready.”

“He’s not pressuring you into things, is he?” McGee asked.

Tony smiled at McGee’s protectiveness. “Nah. He’s crazy patient. I have no idea why he puts up with all my crap.”

Abby tightened her hold on Tony. “It’s because he sees you the way we do, Tony. He sees what a great guy you are.”

“I have everything I could ever want right now,” Tony leaned his cheek on the top of Abby’s head. “I really couldn’t ask for more,” he breathed softly.

It was really odd when Tony put his belongings into boxes and McGee, Abby, Ducky and Kate helped to move them to his new desk. He had been assigned a corner area with several empty desks and a huge, new plasma screen, about as far from the MCRT that they could get while still being in the squad room. Gibbs just gave Tony a baleful look when Tony handed him a lockbox and key, the one he’d kept in his bottom drawer that contained all of Gibbs’ medals. When Gibbs refused to take it, Tony rolled his eyes, put it down on Gibbs’ table, and went back to packing his things.

For the next month or so, Tony worked mostly alone in the corner. Although he was never lonely there, because since he had gone back to mostly being himself, the squad room went back to visiting him and shooting the breeze. Tony’s transformation back to being mostly himself was just as dramatic as it was when he had originally become AutomaTony. Sitting by himself, he could be seen drumming and fidgeting and dancing to the music in his head again, and talking to himself as he went through the case files. He was back to being chatty and joked and flirted with everyone, although he seemed to have curbed most of his inappropriate jokes and comments, only letting that side of him come out to play when he was out with Abby and McGee. They went out together all the time, so even though McGee didn’t get to work with him directly anymore, they still hung out and still enjoyed a close friendship. Kate started joining them more and more, and McGee knew that she and Tony had spoken and cleared the air, just the two of them, and were back on solid footing again.

When Tony chose his first team member, Cassie Yates, and she agreed to join the cold cases team, the friends went out to celebrate. Tony’s cold case closure rates were high, and Tony was earning himself quite a reputation and kept quite busy. With the way the evidence was, he was also traveling cross country a lot more to chase down leads and ideas and talk to different people. Tony complained about his over familiarity with military transports and reminiscing about the Gulf Stream they flew to Guantanamo that one time. Once his team ramped up, the idea was that they would start traveling internationally to actively work cold cases in Rota, Marseilles, and other ports of call where there was an NCIS. Sadly not in a Gulf Stream, but most probably in military transports.

When an envelope with a SWAK arrived at the MCRT bullpen, the TAD who was standing in for Tony opened it, and ended up with Kate in the hospital. Sadly, the TAD died from being infected with the genetically engineered and mutated strain of Yesenia pestis, the pneumonic plague. McGee found himself greatly thankful that Tony hadn’t been on the team for that. A car bomb took out the next TAD. And then the terrorist Ari Haswari came back into their lives and McGee was too busy trying to figure things out. Tony was in fact, on a case in Hawaii with Cassie Yates, his Senior Field Agent, when the news came to him that Kate had been killed. Shot by a sniper on a rooftop. McGee had been stuck ducking behind their car while it happened, his computer having been shot up, while Kate and Gibbs had been on the roof shooting down Hamas terrorists. He called Tony to inform him of Kate’s death as soon as he had arrived back at the Navy Yard. Tony and Cassie immediately flew back, and it was a clusterfuck to figure out what was going on, and where Ari Haswari, the apparently rogue Mossad/Hamas agent, was hiding. His handler was an Israeli woman, Ziva David, a Mossad operative who threw McGee for a loop. And somewhere during all of this, Morrow left to go to Homeland and a new director took over for NCIS. And to everyone’s surprise, Tony elected to leave with Morrow.

At Kate’s funeral in Indiana, Tony stood with McGee as they paid their last respects to their fallen comrade. It had been difficult. McGee had been thankful that Tony had come back and been there for him. Tony had helped him say his goodbyes to Kate in the morgue, and here Tony was, still being his and Abby’s rock. Gibbs had come to the funeral late, and with no explanation. And they had a private wake later when they got back to DC, Abby, McGee and Tony, sitting in Kate’s favorite bar in DC, drinking and toasting, and telling Kate stories.

“Why are you leaving NCIS?” Abby finally asked, tears falling.

“I met the new director,” Tony told them. “She’s one of Gibbs’, and she’s… I don’t know. I don’t believe she would have my back. I don’t really feel like being used and hung out to dry again.”

“Just because she’s one of Gibbs’ doesn’t mean that she would take advantage of you,” McGee objected.

“Maybe not. But I don’t know. She made my skin crawl,” Tony sighed. “And did you see? Haswari’s handler? Ziva David? She’s way too chummy with the new director.”

“They’ve worked together before,” Abby said reasonably.

“True. But she’s also Eli David’s daughter. Head of Mossad? I don’t want to stick around and see NCIS get played by Mossad,” Tony said bleakly.

“That sounds kind of far-fetched,” McGee snorted.

“Does it? Only time will tell,” Tony gulped his drink down. “Besides, Morrow asked me if I would stick with him months ago, when we were arranging my transfer and promotion. He was being courted by both Homeland and the CIA back then. And he wanted me to go with him wherever he ended up. And I told him I would.”

Abby gasped. “Even back then, you knew you weren’t staying? And you didn’t tell us?”

“Nothing was set in stone. It could have all fallen through and Morrow could have decided to stay at NCIS. And besides, the Cold Case Team turned out to be something that NCIS does need,” Tony shrugged. “I was ordered to keep quiet about everything. I know how to follow orders.”

McGee scrubbed his face. “Shit… Well. I don’t even know what to say about that.”

“Just watch your back with the new director,” Tony warned them both. “Don’t trust her. Don’t do anything that sounds even the slightest bit hinky. Make sure you have backup and records of everything you do for her.”

McGee stared at Tony, worried. “That sounds real serious and specific, Tony.”

“I’m just saying, I know how to read people, and I do not like what I see in Director Shepard,” he said grimly. “Mark my words.”

It was amazing how Tony’s words were almost prophetic. Her relationship with Gibbs was all over the map. One moment she was all ‘I’m the Director and you will obey my order as you are my subordinate, Gibbs’, and the next she was vamping it out, flirting with him so obviously that McGee had trouble stopping himself from rolling his eyes. Tony would have been ashamed of her if she had been one of his trainees. Even when Tony had been fake flirting badly in front of McGee, back in the beginning, before he got to know Tony better, Tony’s efforts at fake bad flirting then were way better than Shepard’s actual attempts to flirt with Gibbs. McGee felt that even he could give her a pointer or two, and that was saying a lot.

But even worse, she made some very interesting decisions for NCIS. Over the few years that Shepard was the director, Kate’s murderer’s sister, Ziva David, officially took her place and joined the MCRT as a Mossad liaison (why NCIS would need an official Mossad liaison working cases on the MCRT, and even if it was necessary why did it have to be the sister of the man who’d murdered Kate, and why did Gibbs meekly accept this staffing change given that Gibbs prided himself on choosing his own teammates were questions Tony asked McGee later, which he had no answers for), and then there was a disastrous unsanctioned undercover op that Shepard coerced an up and coming agent to do. An op that was half assed, with no back up, and that the agent actually continued to work his day job at NCIS while carrying out a long undercover op trying to seduce a doctor who was the daughter of an international arms dealer, that ended up with the agent being blown up in his own car and it turned out that the director had a grudge against the arms dealer, a personal one that went back to the death of her own father. Her stint at NCIS ended when she was killed in a shootout in a diner in the desert in California. She had told her escorts, Ziva David and the MCRT’s new Senior Field Agent (he wasn’t really new at that point in time anymore, but to McGee he would always be the new SFA since he wasn’t Tony) to leave her alone. Unfortunately Harrison, the new SFA had been suspicious and had ended up at the diner, trying to stop the carnage, and he, too, had been killed in the crossfire. And it later came out that she had engineered it so she would be killed there, rather than die a slow, painful death due to a tumor in her brain. Except of course, she had taken not just the criminals gunning for her with her, but also Harrison, who had only been trying to do his duty and protect his Director. Ziva David had been spared because she had actually obeyed the Director’s orders and had stayed away.

McGee stayed with Gibbs through many upheavals, through Gibbs losing his memory, running off to Mexico to spend months living with his old mentor, and then coming back all different, seeing teammates come and go, even seeing some teammates die. And through it all, he kept his friendship with Tony and Abby going. He and Kiera were no longer together, hadn’t been for a couple of years, when he decided he’d had enough and given Tony enough time to build a team, and he finally sent Tony and Homeland his resume. McGee was seeing a lovely woman by the name of Delilah by then. Tony might have left NCIS, but he had taught McGee a lot about how to relate to people, not just women, and McGee was happy with Delilah. By this time, Tony was an assistant director at Homeland. He had risen in the ranks at Homeland, a meteoric rise that did not surprise anyone who knew him. Morrow had called it when he had refused to let Tony leave NCIS, and then asked Tony to go with him when he himself was leaving NCIS. Tony’s reputation was fearsome. With his background with several different police departments, his time as Gibbs’ whipping boy at NCIS, and now all the years at Homeland, he was a force to be reckoned with. Tony had grown up a lot, and grown up nice, as McGee’s grandmother would say.

McGee happily joined Tony’s department at Homeland as a team lead – a promotion for him – right before things went haywire at NCIS. Before Ziva’s father and the next NCIS director Vance’s wife was killed in a suspicious drive by shooting at the new director’s home. McGee was no longer in the fray with Gibbs. And although he felt bad that he wasn’t there to back his former team lead, he was pretty thankful to be out of that weird political disaster that his team seemed to always be on the verge of. It was amazing that his new job at Homeland, where he was paid to actually be hunting terrorists and preventing terrorism full time, was much less dramatic than his time at NCIS had been. And they heard whispers of the terrible scheme for vengeance that the MCRT went on, the disaster in Berlin and so forth. McGee couldn’t help but be thankful that he had not been sucked into whatever the hell that was. Things were much better for him working for Tony again. McGee quickly worked his way up to being Tony’s right hand man, and together, their department’s success rate was astronomical. What McGee enjoyed about working for Homeland was that for them, successful cases meant that they prevented something from happening. They were in place to stop loss of life before it happened, instead of picking up a case after something bad had happened. And that was a nice change from the MCRT where most of their cases started with a death. Not to say that bad things didn’t happen during their cases at Homeland, they did, and people died on their cases, too, but Tony always remained in control and never let any of their cases spiral out of hand. He was exceedingly good at keeping the personal out of their cases, and the people who worked for him mostly had a social life and a personal life outside of work.

It wasn’t until a few years later that the drama at NCIS overflowed and affected Homeland in that Director Morrow was shot and killed in his own home, an event that was connected to an old NCIS case. This case had wide ranging repercussions. Several other former NCIS operatives were killed. Fornell of the FBI had been shot and grievously wounded. Ziva David who had left NCIS and returned to Israel had been killed when the farmhouse she was living in in Israel had been bombed. Another madhouse, and after all was said and done, and Kort, the former CIA agent who had been responsible for all of these deaths disappeared, after which McGee heard rumors that Gibbs and his team had actually executed the man rather than apprehend him, it was at Morrow’s funeral that McGee saw Gibbs again.

Tony had been promoted again, and had taken Morrow’s position at Homeland. He was present at Morrow’s funeral and he and Samuel, who had finally succeeded in persuading him to marry him a couple years ago, were supporting Morrow’s widow through the entire ordeal. As far as McGee knew, it was the first time that Tony and Gibbs had even been in the same room together since Tony left NCIS. Tony had masterfully managed to slip out of every joint op that involved the MCRT, sending Yates or later, McGee in his place. But on that day, McGee saw Gibbs go up to Tony and say a few words to him, and Tony responded with a nod and a tight smile. McGee glanced at Tony’s security detail and silently gestured for them to intercept and cut that conversation short. He did not need to be the one to pick up the pieces – again – if Gibbs decided to shred Tony again. But the conversation had been short, and Tony seemed unaffected afterwards, so McGee breathed a sigh of relief. He’d dodged a bullet. Tony was still his Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter tomorrow! The epilogue, which will be the only chapter that is not in McGee's POV.
> 
> Thank you all for all your support of this fic!! Last chapter tomorrow!
> 
> <3  
> -j  
> xoxo


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the epilogue! The only chapter that is not in McGee's POV. :D

[](https://i.imgur.com/DYeMhjj.png)

Tony DiNozzo, the new director of the Department of Homeland Security brought his massive cup of coffee over to the table where NCIS MCRT Team Lead Leroy Jethro Gibbs, his former boss, sat, waiting for him.

Tony sat and blew on his coffee before taking a careful sip.

“Still drinking the frou-frou coffee?” Gibbs asked.

Tony smiled at him. “Always.”

“You look well.” And Tony did. He had aged well in the almost dozen years since he had left Gibbs’ team. His body had thickened some, but he carried the weight well. Nobody had forgotten that before he became the Director of Homeland Security, he had been a field agent, and a really good one at that and had worked his way up from that. He still kept himself fit, still in top fighting condition. Gibbs could tell that Tony had not allowed himself to get soft even though he now had a desk job. And he had somehow gotten even better looking as he got older, the laugh lines on his face a testament to a life well lived.

Tony nodded, green eyes flicking over Gibbs. “So do you.”

Gibbs gave him a long look. “I am sorry, you know. For those things I accused you of years ago.”

Tony gave him a small smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“I knew it wasn’t true. But I was just so angry.”

“You’re always angry, Gibbs.”

Gibbs nodded. “I’m glad you’ve really made something of yourself,” he changed the subject.

“Thank you,” Tony nodded. “I owe that all to you, really. If you hadn’t accused me of being a whore, I would have been happy to stay at your beck and call forever. And never move forward with my life.”

Gibbs’ face flushed a little. “I regret that I said those things.”

“I know.”

They sat and stared at each other, drinking their coffees in silence.

“Why did you, anyway?” Tony asked. “Why did you say those things to me? I’ve always wondered.”

“I don’t know. You seemed to be getting close to McGee.”

“So?”

Gibbs sighed. “Maybe I was a little jealous. I was used to you giving me all of your attention.”

“Fuck, Gibbs. I was in love with you. I _always_ gave you all my attention,” Tony blushed when he said the words, even though he grinned sheepishly at the same time. “Tim is my friend, but I was so stupidly and madly in love with you that I would have happily cut my arm off and beat myself to death with it if that was what you asked me to do.”

Gibbs looked shocked at that. “Oh,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me about it?” Gibbs asked.

“I fucking flirted with you enough in four years, don’t you think? Remember that landlord, in the Amanda Voss case? He thought we were a couple,” Tony snorted. “I figured it wasn’t that you didn’t get the message. I figured you just ignored it and that was your message to me. So I was prepared to just pine away, loving you without hope of you returning my feelings, forever. Not to be overdramatic or anything.”

“Shit, DiNozzo,” Gibbs shook his head. “How long did you have feelings for me?”

“The whole fucking time, man,” Tony shook his head in disbelief. “You got me through the whole Wendy debacle, and I guess I fell for you.”

“Oh.”

They sat and drank in silence for another long while.

“Kind of wish you had said it to me, though,” Gibbs finally said thoughtfully.

“Why? You into men, too?”

“I was into you.”

Tony stared at him. “What?”

Gibbs grunted an answer and they stared at each other. Tony started chuckling to himself.

“Fuck, Gibbs. The girls were right all along.”

“Huh?”

“Abby, Kate and McGee’s girlfriend at the time – you remember Kiera? They all thought maybe you said those things to me because you were jealous of McGee.”

Gibbs choked on his coffee.

“I told them that there was no way that was true. I couldn’t let myself even consider that. But now, I’m thinking maybe you were?” Tony continued, once Gibbs was done coughing.

After a long pause, Gibbs nodded. “You got over me pretty quick though. Still with that Samuel guy. I saw him at Morrow’s funeral.”

“No. It took me a really long time to get over you,” Tony shrugged. “Way longer than it took for me to get over Wendy. And she practically left me at the altar.”

“Samuel made it for the long haul.”

“He helped me through it. Stayed with me. Was patient with me. He loved me, even when I didn’t know how to love myself, especially after what you said to me. Helped me realize that I didn’t need to keep punishing myself for things that you thought about me. I put him through hell at times. He took the punishment I dealt out that was really meant for you and not him,” Tony shrugged. “But he stayed, through all kinds of really bad shit, he stayed. And he gave me whatever I needed, and asked for nothing in return. And then one day, I finally looked at him and saw him. I really saw him there. Saw him for who he was. Saw him for who he _wasn’t_. And it turned out, I eventually saw that he was the one.” A small smile flitted over Tony’s face and he fiddled with the wedding band on his left hand.

“He still good to you?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Better than anything I deserve.”

“You deserve that and more, DiNozzo.”

Tony smiled at that. “Thank you,” he nodded.

“You ever wonder what would have happened if we had gotten together back then?”

Tony gave him a sad grin. “It would have probably been great for a while. And then you would start to treat me the way you treated your ex-wives, but unlike them, I would have been too stupid to leave you. If you had fucked me, even once, I would have stuck around through it all, done everything I could to keep you safe, become your lapdog, and in the end, all you would have felt for me would be contempt. By then you would have eroded my role on the team and I would have become a joke to everyone. The once promising young agent who ended up toothless and nothing but comic relief. A cautionary tale. What not to do with your life.”

“That bad?”

“I loved you, Gibbs. With every fiber of my being. I was yours, through and through,” Tony’s words were simple. “But you were always Shannon’s. You’ve never been anyone else’s.”

Gibbs sighed. “I’d like to think maybe you could have been the one to rival her.”

“The fact that I would have had to rival her is the problem,” Tony smiled gently at him. “You set everyone up for failure when you think, is this person going to be the one who I can love more than I loved Shannon? She was the mother of your child. What happened to her and to Kelly was a tragedy that you’ve never gotten over. Even now. So if I had had to compete with your one true love who died on you? There’s no way I would have won. There’s no way anyone can.”

Gibbs stared at him, blinking thoughtfully.

“But if you had only crooked your finger at me, I would have followed you to the ends of the earth,” Tony said wryly.

Gibbs gave him a skeptical look.

“What? I would have. I was always loyal to you, Gibbs.”

“That you were. Like a fuckin’ Saint Bernard.”

Tony grinned at that. “Maybe that’s what they would have called me.”

Gibbs snorted. “Maybe.”

“If we had gotten together back then, when I finally realized, years later, that I don’t matter to you and that I never did, and that none of us can ever live up to Shannon’s memory, it would have destroyed me,” Tony said casually. “And by that time, you would have made it so I would have been the joke of the team. That I would be overlooked and unappreciated. I would have no real friends. I would have nothing except for a real gun with real bullets. And maybe I would have taken that route. Eaten my gun. I don’t know. I’m kind of glad I don’t have to find out.”

Gibbs stared at him. “You’ve given this some thought.”

“I had to get over you somehow,” Tony’s smile was genuine. “But things worked out for the best. Samuel is everything to me.”

“Everything I could never be to you.”

Tony nodded, looking guilty. “He actually likes me for who I am. You just liked me when I conformed to what you thought I should be.”

Gibbs sighed. They were almost done with their drinks. “Do you ever think that if you had been on that rooftop with me and Kate, that she would have lived?” he asked, his voice heavy.

Tony rubbed his face and gave a one shoulder shrug. “Or maybe it would have been me with the bullet in my head,” he said softly. “Or both me _and_ Kate dying on that roof. Or maybe just Kate still would have died, and I would have her blood and brain matter sprayed on my face. That’s one of my recurring nightmares now, you know. To have been there and watched her die without being able to do anything about it. And at the same time it’s one of the things I blame myself for, for not being there when it happened, even if I couldn’t have possibly done anything to save her, had I been there.”

Gibbs nodded. He had the same nightmare, too, except it had been a reality for him.

“Or maybe if I had asked her and McGee to come on Cold Cases with me, then it would have been you dying on that roof. Or if not, maybe Ari would’ve worked harder to get to Abby instead?” Tony sighed.

Gibbs grimaced at the thought of Abby dying in place of Kate. He and Abby had made their peace years ago and were friends again, although she no longer looked at him as if he walked on water. But the thought of Ari killing Abby was difficult to swallow. Not that Kate’s death had been easy either.

Finally, Tony pulled his wallet out and slid a few dollars under his cup. “I have to go. Before my security calls Samuel on me. Or calls McGee,” he rolled his eyes.

“They don’t know you took this meeting with me?”

“Of course Samuel knows we’re meeting. Not McGee, though. He wouldn’t be able to handle this, not after what we put him through before I left the team. But my security is very loyal to Samuel and to McGee,” Tony shook his head fondly. “Especially Samuel. Go figure. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. Samuel’s the one who remembers everybody’s and their family’s birthdays and anniversaries, and sends everyone the gifts and cards during the holidays. That’s probably why they like him better. Plus he never gives them orders and I have to sometimes.”

“He sounds like a good man. You hang on to him.”

“For dear life, Gibbs. I will.”

“And McGee, too. He’s a great agent. McGee was always yours, you know. He was never mine.”

Tony smiled. “He’s come a long way, my little Probie.”

“He never forgave me for what I said to you.”

“He knew I had feelings for you. He knew how much you hurt me.”

Gibbs sighed. “He’s doing well at Homeland, so I hear.”

“Extremely,” Tony said proudly. “He’s really come into his own. He’s one of the youngest Assistant Directors now. I couldn’t do without him.”

“You were fairly young when you made Assistant Director. Morrow said the same thing about you.”

Tony nodded, acknowledging the implied compliment.

“It was all you, anyway, training him way back when. You were the one that asked me to get him on our team full time,” Gibbs continued.

“He had potential.”

Gibbs nodded. “Always wondered why he didn’t leave with you to go to Cold Cases. And to Homeland with you and Morrow.”

“He still had more to learn from you.”

Gibbs gave him a searching look. “You told him you couldn’t take him with you, didn’t you? What reason did you give him?”

Tony smiled. “He still had more to learn from you,” he repeated, neither confirming nor denying Gibbs’ assumption. “He needed to make a name for himself, and I needed to make a name for myself. When he finally did apply to Homeland, we were both in a better position to ensure he had a great job waiting for him.”

Gibbs nodded. “Tell him hello, then.”

“I’d rather not. He got so twitchy at Tom’s funeral when you came up to me,” Tony sighed. “Poor Tom.”

“You’re not blaming me for Tom’s death?” Gibbs asked.

“Should I?” Tony’s clear eyes stared at Gibbs.

“I don’t know,” Gibbs answered honestly.

“We’re in a dangerous line of work,” Tony said quietly. “Tom knew the risks. We all do. Sometimes we lose the best people. I still blame myself for a lot of things. That guy dying of the plague, right after I left the team? That should have been me. Not him. There’s Kate on that roof. Harrison in the desert. Everyone on your team that died after I left, could have or maybe even should have been me. So no, I can’t blame you for Tom’s death.”

Gibbs rubbed his face. “You would have kicked the plague’s ass if it had been you,” he muttered. “I wouldn’t have let you die, even if I’d had to order you to live. Your obedient ass wouldn’t have died on me.”

“Maybe so,” Tony smiled at him. “I have to head out,” he stood. “Take care, Gibbs.”

“Thanks for the talk.”

Tony smiled at him and inclined his head, winking flirtatiously at him, the way he once used to. “I’ll see you around… Boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! I added a final tag, btw, but it has no bearing on the plot. This story is my NaNoWriMo for this year and definitely made the 50k word count, even though when I originally conceived of this idea for the 2nd anniversary of me posting stories (my storyversary), it was supposed to be much more lighthearted and supposed to head to a Tibbs ending. However, the muse had other ideas and it veered off into the unknown, going from a story that was supposed to be maybe 10-15k words to a story that was a hefty 55k+ words! I do thank you all for coming on this journey with me! It was really fun to write a story that was entirely (except for this short epilogue) in McGee's POV. It was also really fun to take all the canon things over the years and twist it, and kill off so many people where in canon Tony had gone through these things and survived. I was like, let's be realistic - genetically engineered pneumonic plague? Anyone else would be dead. So I killed off that guy. And so on and so forth :D Also I decided to keep Gibbs the way they have him in canon - which is to say, he's still the same guy now that he was back in Season 2. He lives alone, mourns his Shannon and Kelly, he lives for his job, and doesn't seem to want much more than that.
> 
> And of course, at the end of the story I give you the music that helped inspire me while I write:  
> * [I'm Too Sexy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgU6I4ky9KI) (Right Said Fred)  
> * [Witch Doctor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYgOlqinH7A) (Ross Bagdasarian Sr)  
> * [Hey Mickey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkYZKqmxaro) (Toni Basil)  
> * [What Makes You Beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjPc8RVJ0Dc) (One Direction)  
> * [We Can't Stop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mjvfnUAfyo) (Miley Cyrus, but performed a capella with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots)
> 
> Kind of a weird mix this time. I think it was this version of We Can't Stop which I think is a sad song that made this story all angsty. But then I guess it is me so I don't know why I was surprised that it went this way. Oh well. :D
> 
> Huge, huge thanks to Red_Pink_Dots for the fabulous artwork, as well as the cheerleading, encouraging me to go where the muse took me with this story, and also to cutsycat who kept cheering me on even though I was whining about this neverending story. :D
> 
> And again thank you so much for reading, kudoing, subscribing and commenting on this fic! I really appreciate it!! In a little over two years now (two years and 10 days) I've posted 85 works, mostly NCIS and mostly fics. I've had a blast doing it, and I've enjoyed all the interactions that I've had with everyone here! Thank you so much!! 
> 
> Love,  
> -j  
> xoxoxo
> 
> ps - if you needed to laugh and some Tibbs to make up for this story, check out [Just Add Kittens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759474) which was a direct result of comments from Chapters 1 and 2 of this story and a crazy conversation on twitter :D
> 
> pps - come find me on twitter [@jane_x80](https://twitter.com/jane_x80) I'm not on a lot but when I am, there are usually Tibbs and kittens involved. :D

**Author's Note:**

> For those who asked, RPD and I cast Roy Dupuis as Samuel:
> 
> [](http://www.sevenreflections.com/images/people/Roy_Dupuis.jpg)
> 
> And here's Samuel [twelve years later](https://cdn2-img.pressreader.com/pressdisplay/docserver/getimage.aspx?regionKey=XURf8d9MJXReNWlYbko85A%3D%3D&scale=100) still hot! :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Just Add Kittens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12759474) by [jane_x80](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80)




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